44Stillwater, United States
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My self-summary
Hello, and thank you for reading my profile and not being one of the just look at the pictures people. So what do I have to say for myself in this self-summary?

* Myself is probably not really close to yourself, as there seems to be very few single, educated women my age in the college town that is Stillwater. But if you are here in town, awesome! More likely you live in Tulsa or OKC- Possibly?
* If you are from nearby and you are out of step with those around you, then, haha, you might just be in step with me! I consider myself a socialist (Go Bernie!) (Update, sorry, Bernie. Go Jill Stein!) , humanist, agnostic (nobody knows), idea loving, antique mall browsing (never know what you might find), big picture thinking, documentary watching, book reading (at least two a month), art making, museum and library visiting kinda guy. A nerdy rare bird, I think, for these parts, admittedly. But in the immortal words of Popeye the Sailor Man, "I am what I am."
* Majored in English and history in college and have never regretted it. I was never meant to be anything but a liberal arts major.
* The "ARsophisticate" comes from the fact that I am from Arkansas originally and grew up in a small town, but have traveled enough in page, ship, and plane to where I do have a more complex / sophisticated / not black and white view of life, of the world. Alternate screen name, "Cosmokansan," haha.
* But I am still the guy who loves the outdoors, catching fish, watching SEC football, calling the Hogs, eating some unhealthy fried food, drinking iced tea, duck hunting and gumbo making in the winter, wearing a pair of old overalls, and putting the dogs in the back of the truck for a drive down a dirt road. A Southern guy who subscribes to the "New Yorker" - haha. You can say I have range! : )
* I work in academia as an academic counselor and consider listening and conversation making as two of my chief work skills. But I think they also make for great friend and relationship skills as well.
* I am not physically tall, admittedly, but I am emotionally fit and healthy, have a strong sense of responsibility and loyalty to my friends and family. I think before I act, and I act with others in mind, not just myself. I never think of kindness, either, as being weakness. Humor also keeps me strong in this tough world, and I've had a few slings and arrows thrown my way.
* I think the INFJ personality description does myself a fair amount of justice, so if you need more self-summary, google "INFJ type" for more. I think we male INFJs in the end bring a lot to relationships (loyalty, depth, insight, strength, a good ear), but we are not the stereotypical loud, in your face, macho man of the media stereotype. More Alan Alda than Arnold Schwarzenegger, haha.
What I’m doing with my life
I think I touched on that above. I work as an academic counselor. I see majors in the College of Arts and Sciences and help them achieve their goal of obtaining a college degree. About ten years ago I introduced painting into my life, and I've enjoyed it as a hobby. I haven't sold any paintings, (update - have sold two!, update - three!) but I've enjoyed giving them to family and friends. I also enjoy photography, which sometimes inspires my paintings. I think I have a good eye for how things look or should look. But, hey, I plan on keeping the day job.
I’m really good at
Listening, which you need to be in any counseling job. Pretty good at working my way towards understanding where somebody else is coming from. Writing, was an English major. Painting, getting better. I like to think that I am a pretty good conversationalist as well, but I am a true introvert at heart, so I do have to have my "down time" from people in order to recharge. I am really good at treating women with respect, but at the same time won't let go of my self-respect. I like making collective decisions, but if called on, I am capable of being a decider in a relationship. I am pretty good at Jeopardy, and it makes my day when I get Final Jeopardy right, haha. Dogs like me. Even some cold cats in the past have warmed up to me. Can I list that as a skill? I am also very good at coming up with the thoughtful gesture at the right time. I do without a doubt call that a skill. Would never forget an anniversary or birthday. Advocating on the behalf of others. Getting upset with the outcome of a game, but then bouncing back, haha, ready for the next one.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hmm, I guess outside of physical appearance I would say my sense of humor and easy going nature. That I am easy to talk to and talk with a Southern accent, Arkansas version.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

A lot of the books I read for my masters in English I still cherish the thought of: The Great Gatsby, Moby-Dick, The Sound and The Fury. Books revolving around the Civil War, Shiloh by Shelby Foote, European Literature, The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann, Mark Twain's writings, White Teeth by Zadie Smith, Ian McEwan novels, George Saunders' short stories, and Eliot, Frost, Bishop, Dylan Thomas, in poetry. I should have consulted my reading journal before writing this section! For I know there are favorites I am leaving out. Such as non-fiction! Oklahoma's Sarah Vowell, I like her essay collections and American history ruminations.


My taste in movies stretches wide - everything from "Places in the Heart" to "Apocalypse Now." Independent movies, anything that makes you think, movies that haunt you e.g. "The Reflecting Skin" - very strange! I also got a kick out of those silly Naked Gun and Airplane movies that used to come out. Only thing I am not really big on right now is comic book movies.


Not into popular radio music. My musical tastes now run more back in time to old country, Americana, bluegrass, blues. But I also like groups that can take the old and give it a new twist, such as "The Be Good Tanyas" from Canada and Gillian Welch. I haven't moved over to the world of the IPOD yet. Yeah, I still have CD's, haha. I am sorta going backwards, actually. I am keeping my eye out for an affordable victrola that I can crank someday.


Southern soul food, seafood, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Chinese, Thai, well, really not a lot of restrictions here. I do like broccolli, but I don't like olives! Haha. Yeah, there's a restriction. Late night popsicles are great.
Six things I could never do without
Hope for good tomorrows - gotta have that.
Books - I try to read at least two a month, and I collect antiquarian books dating from the 19th and 18th centuries.
Beauty - We all need it around. And it takes all forms. Right now my 1929 Underwood Number 5 typewriter is one of my most beautiful prized possessions.
Perspective - It is a wonderful thing to have and keeps you from ever getting too down or too up.
A Mission - That is a sense that your life has meaning by serving a larger purpose. My job gives me some of this. But so does just being a good friend, son, and brother. And hopefully someday, husband and possibly father and/or uncle.
Family and Friends - I wish I lived closer to more of them, but I know they are still out there, and that still means a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The book I am reading at the moment. The painting I am going to paint. The movie I just saw. The game I just watched or look forward to watching. The places I've been that I wish I could go back to. The places I haven't yet visited. How I wish America were a better country than what it is and thinks it is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Lately, I've gone to a few soccer games, but usually Friday nights are spent recovering from a week of constant interaction with people, mainly Millennials. More likely to be sociable on a Saturday night. However, some Friday nights I am at the local meetup group for a dinner. Or maybe starting a new painting. That too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am thinking more and more these days that reincarnation might be real. Read a book on it that was by a medical doctor about children recalling previous existences, and it has some strong cases in it. I am far from being dogmatic in my metaphysics, but I do feel an inner sense that I've lived before. An old soul thought? My hunch could be wrong. But then again, maybe not? Will have to die to know for sure. In no hurry for that, haha.
You should message me if
If you are on-line dating with the serious hope of getting off on-line dating. If you take the search for a relationship seriously and not just serial dating, I want to hear from you. If this recently found quote (A.C. Grayling, British Philosopher) hits a chord with you as an approach to the world, we should talk. "Love well, seek the good in all things, harm no others, think for yourself, take responsibility, respect nature, do your upmost, be kind, be courageous: at least sincerely try."
The two of us