33San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
I come highly recommended.
Just take a look at these testimonials from actual users!

"A good girl for you... well, I think she would have to not be too concerned with social graces."
-- My Boss, 46

"A+++++++ fast payment would recommend"
-- bonghits4jesus87, ebay seller

"Suspect is a white male, approximately 6'1 or 6'2, One-ninety pounds, may be heading east on McAllister, repeat McAllister, or possibly Fulton, all units be advised..."
-- Sgt. Cortez, 37

"The feel good hit of the summer, with swirling synths, pounding bass, and a sick vocal breakdown"
-- Pitchfork Magazine

"How did you get in here? This is for guests only. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave immediately. No, you can't have that. Put that down."
-- Ahmir, 25, Hotel security

"You got a face for radio."
-- Bum on Market and 6th

I'm a database engineer/analyst at a small advertising firm. I ride a motorcycle (Yamaha YZF-R6) I like frisbee, homebrewing beer, drinking said beer, german board games, and reading widely. I run and lift a couple times a week to counteract the effects of the aforementioned beer. I think pulling out your phone in the middle of conversation is the height of rudeness, and I'm completely unimpressed by social media. I have really entertaining facial expressions. If I had a nickel for every time I started a sentence with "I read about a study where..." I could pay for like 40 seconds of parking. I've backpacked for weeks at a time and crossed the atlantic a few times. I consistently test INTP, if those letters mean anything to you. My love language is definitely touch.

I really like dogs, my family raised several guide dog puppies when I was a kid and I miss that a lot. If I had a living situation where I could have a dog that fetched frisbees I'm pretty sure I wouldn't need other humans.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm enjoying the fact that we live in the future, as Louis C.K. says. This is seriously the best time to be alive ever. I've got gripes, but it's really difficult to be serious about them when I have a magic brick in my pocket with literally all the world's knowledge and especially cat pictures on it.
I’m really good at
I used to think that I was pretty good at impressions, until someone pointed out that they were basically all Sean Connery from Celebrity Jeopardy.
The first things people usually notice about me
Like most people my height, I am 6'1".
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love frisson-causing EDM, Examples: Gareth Emery, Above and Beyond, Pryda, Tritonal, Andrew Bayer, Arty, Mat Zo, Mark Eteson, Porter Robinson, Aruna, Seven Lions, etc.
My two favorite artists are Bonobo and Emancipator.

Words that start with E: Ebullient, effervescent, etiolated, enervate, edified

Shows I've enjoyed recently:
Game of Thrones, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, The Wire, Suits, White Collar, Twin Peaks, Homeland.

Books: Currently reading Brothers Karamazov. Before that I read the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami. It was my first Murakami novel; I didn't really warm up to it, I felt his characters did not behave like real people. One of the producers at Pixar said that her golden rule for writing screenplays is that it's fine to get your characters into a situation by coincidence, but never ok to have them solve it by coincidence. I felt like every conflict in that novel violated that rule.
Six things I could never do without
Never liked this question. I've rewritten it several times and it never comes out right. If you answer too directly, it's so chumpy and boring. But if you answer it too glibly, it's twee and eyerolly. Ignore for a minute that that describes almost everything on this site, this one's the worst.

I like regular human stuff, like you.

I'll replace it with some other things instead.
Average time it takes from closing the apartment door to removing pants : 35s
Favorite ironic greeting containing the word "Bro" : Broseidon
Best burrito filling: Carnitas
Number of popped collars where it goes from douchey to parody: 3.5
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How are we going to handle geometrically increasing productivity in a somewhat linear demand-based economy in the next couple of years? The only way I see to prevent a total collapse in the near future is a universal basic income, but this seems politically untenable in the current climate.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wiping up the bowl of Chicken Tikka with the last of that garlic naan at 1:30
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I worry sometimes that I don't seem to feel things as strongly or deeply as other people do. Like most of the time when I go to a concert, I'll think it's just alright, then read later how hyperbolically someone else loved it and wonder if we went to the same show.
You should message me if
You know what I'd love? Just message me something fucking random. Like just the phrase "anal prolapse" or something. The less explanation, the better - like a two word writing prompt.

Or, if you want a motorcycle ride.
The two of us