Just take a look at these testimonials from actual users!
"A good girl for you... well, I think she would have to not be too concerned with social graces."
-- My Boss, 46
"A+++++++ fast payment would recommend"
-- bonghits4jesus87, ebay seller
"Suspect is a white male, approximately 6'1 or 6'2, One-ninety pounds, may be heading east on McAllister, repeat McAllister, or possibly Fulton, all units be advised..."
-- Sgt. Cortez, 37
"The feel good hit of the summer, with swirling synths, pounding bass, and a sick vocal breakdown"
-- Pitchfork Magazine
"How did you get in here? This is for guests only. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave immediately. No, you can't have that. Put that down."
-- Ahmir, 25, Hotel security
"You got a face for radio."
-- Bum on Market and 6th
I'm a database engineer/analyst at a small advertising firm. I ride a motorcycle (Yamaha YZF-R6) I like frisbee, homebrewing beer, drinking said beer, german board games, and reading widely. I run and lift a couple times a week to counteract the effects of the aforementioned beer. I think pulling out your phone in the middle of conversation is the height of rudeness, and I'm completely unimpressed by social media. I have really entertaining facial expressions. If I had a nickel for every time I started a sentence with "I read about a study where..." I could pay for like 40 seconds of parking. I've backpacked for weeks at a time and crossed the atlantic a few times. I consistently test INTP, if those letters mean anything to you. My love language is definitely touch.
I really like dogs, my family raised several guide dog puppies when I was a kid and I miss that a lot. If I had a living situation where I could have a dog that fetched frisbees I'm pretty sure I wouldn't need other humans.
I love frisson-causing EDM, Examples: Gareth Emery, Above and Beyond, Pryda, Tritonal, Andrew Bayer, Arty, Mat Zo, Mark Eteson, Porter Robinson, Aruna, Seven Lions, etc.
My two favorite artists are Bonobo and Emancipator.
Words that start with E: Ebullient, effervescent, etiolated, enervate, edified
Shows I've enjoyed recently:
Game of Thrones, Firefly, Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, The Wire, Suits, White Collar, Twin Peaks, Homeland.
Books: Currently reading Brothers Karamazov. Before that I read the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami. It was my first Murakami novel; I didn't really warm up to it, I felt his characters did not behave like real people. One of the producers at Pixar said that her golden rule for writing screenplays is that it's fine to get your characters into a situation by coincidence, but never ok to have them solve it by coincidence. I felt like every conflict in that novel violated that rule.
I like regular human stuff, like you.
I'll replace it with some other things instead.
Average time it takes from closing the apartment door to removing pants : 35s
Favorite ironic greeting containing the word "Bro" : Broseidon
Best burrito filling: Carnitas
Number of popped collars where it goes from douchey to parody: 3.5
Or, if you want a motorcycle ride.