40Minneapolis, United States
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My self-summary
I am not a morning person.

I'm opinionated and knowledgeable about a number of trivial matters, such as driving habits, instant replay in football, and cell phone usage. For larger issues, like Life, the Universe and Everything, I find listening to the opinions of others more enjoyable than prattling on about the way I see them.

I like comedy and I aspire to be as witty or crass (on occasion) as my favorite comedians and writers. I'm always striving for a humorous take on any situation. I also love a good pun.
What I’m doing with my life
I have been working for over a dozen years for the same company. Not that I'd call it a career, but suppose it could be. My worst trait is that I have yet to find something to do with my life that I am truly passionate about. My best trait is that I can adapt to my situation, or I think I can. I think someone who can roll with the punches is an asset; my job does not necessarily define me.
Also, I have been working in recent months to improve my health and have lost around 40 pounds. Not to brag, but... actually, screw it, I'm bragging.
I’m really good at
Noting small details. Have you ever ridden on the Interstate with someone and made a joke about one of the billboards only to find the other person have no idea what you're referencing? Welcome to my world.
The first things people usually notice about me
The glorious mustache and beard. No joke; it's pretty awesome.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys by Chris Fuhrman, The Dark Half by Stephen King (yeah, really), Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan, Pop. 1280 by Jim Thompson. Also, I like H.P Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard (especially Solomon Kane stories). I am currently looking for new reading suggestions while I re-read Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert.

Movies: Miller's Crossing, The Good The Bad & the Ugly, Groundhog Day, The Manchurian Candidate, A Christmas Story, Bringing Up Baby, Double Indemnity, North By Northwest, A Very Long Engagement, and Better Off Dead.

TV: Archer, Breaking Bad, Community, Parks & Recreation, Justified, 30 Rock, Homeland, Game of Thrones, Louie, Fringe, The League, Workaholics, Falling Skies, and The Americans.

Music: I am huge fan of prog rock, i.e. Genesis, Yes, Emerson Lake & Palmer, Rush, as well as Spock's Beard, The Flower Kings, and other prog-revival acts. I also love progressive and old-school metal, e.g. Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Dream Theater, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Budgie, Judas Priest, Threshold, etc. I also dig 80's pop and rock music, old-school hip-hop, classical, experimental rock, any country that you wouldn't hear on "country radio" (e.g. George Jones, Johnny Cash, etc) and Alt-Country (Uncle Tupelo, Old 97s, Justin Townes Earle, etc). I'm probably more into defining music genres than you are.

Food: If it doesn't taste okay, put Sriracha (aka Rooster Sauce) on it.

I really love board games, so I'm adding my favorites: Puerto Rico, Power Grid, Eclipse, Arkham Horror, El Grande, Power Struggle, and anything designed by Stefan Feld.
Six things I could never do without
the Constitution
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Music, women, why certain co-workers of mine are so abnormal, why I spend so much time thinking about what I think is normal, why Conservatives waste so much time worrying about other peoples' reproductive organs/sex lives.
On a typical Friday night I am
at a friend's house to play board games or card games, possibly having drinks with friends after work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If I put it out here for the internet, it wouldn't be private would it? If you're willing to get know me a little, I will likely reveal something embarrassing about myself long before I ought to. My boundaries are occasionally in need of some serious gerrymandering.
You should message me if
anything you've read here made you smile;
you love the Green Bay Packers (or if you don't, or don't care about football, you will oblige or even take interest in my love of them);
you love playing board games (I'm talking far beyond Scrabble and Monopoly);
you found a serious grammatical error somewhere on my profile;
we have several things in common and you saw I visited you; but didn't write a message yet (I probably put too much thought into them);
or you are genuinely interested in learning more about anything I put on my profile of which you have never heard.
The two of us