27Martinez, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'll get the bad stuff out of the way first: I have permanent nerve damage. I walk with a cane sometimes. I have significant external scarring. I have PTSD. No, I'm not ex-military. I WILL be reduced to a miserable shaking husk of a human on occasion. Deal with it.

Still here? Ok then, let's do the happy stuff.

I am a maker. I tinker, I draw, I code, I grow, and more than anything else I improve.

I am a closet softie. I value pragmatism because I want everyone to suffer as little as possible. It doesn't mean I don't care. It means I care enough to set my emotions aside to find the best answer for everyone. I tend to emotionally disconnect during emergencies to get things done and break down afterwards.

I am grounded. More accurately, I was raised in an environment that taught me what NOT to be, so most of my impulses are reliably wrong. I hear the easy lies and choose to tell the truth. I hear the hateful words and choose to practice compassion. I hear the excuses and I remember them being told so many times before.

I am Alexander. Historical root name Al-Iskander, as in Alexander the Great, conquerer of the then-known world and seeker of the ocean at the end of all things. I will always be looking for something. And live for the appreciation of that journey.

You: Passionate about making the most out of life in whatever capacity you want. Preferably something in the nerd/geek spectrum though, so we can compare notes and conspire.

Note: My full time job right now is taking care of my health. I likely don't have time to go on adventures right now, but I want to make new friends.
What I’m doing with my life
C̶o̶n̶v̶e̶r̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶u̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶ (NIMBY neighbors killed that one), experimenting with aquaponic growing systems (no it's not weed stop asking), getting fit, constantly seeking new experiences and enjoying my favorites in my downtime.

My dream is to become not only self sufficient via solar, aquaponics, and similar minimalist urban practices, but to share those things with my community by running a community center that practices the tenets of Ubuntu.

Update: Currently losing weight at a steady pace. I'll have to put up new pictures after this last 70 comes off.
I’m really good at
I'm very good at combining creative and rational ideas. I love to take a fantasy and figure out all the requirements to make it a reality, even if it's something silly. Seriously, the weekly tradition among my gaming friends was to update our excessively thorough zombie apocalypse plans. I can't drink so I've become great at babysitting drunk friends. I have a lot of random skills that I learned in lieu of getting paid for jobs. It turns out, it's way easier to get work experience when people just have to share their passions instead of their paycheck.
The first things people usually notice about me
People tend to comment on my eyes a lot. Other than that, I suppose it would be my unique reaction to what would normally be stressful situations. Low Level stress sets off panic attacks, so I'm a little fidgety and Ativan and I are good friends. Larger stressors (like car accidents and such) tend to not bother me at all.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fantasy books: Unabashedly in love with young adult fantasy like Garth Nix, Eion Colfer, Piers Anthony, J.K.Rowling, etc.

Outside of the young adult sphere, I'm particularly fond of Stephen King and have a soft spot for a few Dean Koontz thrillers.

Lifestyle: "The life-changing magic of tidying up" and "10% happier" have had a positive impact on my life, even if I can't actually follow them all the time. Just being aware of my habits gives me a chance to act contrary to them.

Movies: Miyazaki films, Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog, a few of the anime movie remakes of older anime (like the Neon Genesis Evangelion movies), Song of the Sea, & Law Abiding Citizen.

TV: While I dont watch much TV lately (which means I probably haven't seen your favorite current show), I absorb a lot of current media through osmosis, gaining enough working knowledge to interact with a fandom casually at least. Anthony Bourdain & CGP Grey are two sides of one very strange coin that represents my overall TV watching habits. Oh, and I'm a sucker for well written psychological/genius thrillers. Give me a show where nobody is holding an idiot ball and I'm usually willing to give it a full season.

Music: Almost everything. The only exceptions that come to mind are a certain subset of rap I find jarring, and a type of music I call "uncanny valley pop" that feels like a machine-made approximation of feelings people relate to instead of someone actually singing from the heart.

Food: The only foods I absolutely don't like are vinaigrette dressing. Outside of that, I can find something I appreciate in almost all foods. My favorites though are Sushi, Hamburgers, Traditional Peruvian, and my constant standby Soylent.
Six things I could never do without
My service dog.

Following directly on that...Physical contact. Not necessarily romantic, I'm just acutely aware of touch and get an inordinate amount of comfort from simple contact like a hand on my shoulder, a hug, or being leaned on. It lets me know that those around me are comfortable with me, and that feel welcome within my personal space.

Freedom to try new things. My mind is always prompting me with what-ifs and if I can reasonably find out, I probably will.

Phone alarms (they have a surprisingly positive effect on my daily stress levels. Following simple prompts that I set for myself in advance takes a lot of the burden off)

Goals. They don't need to be important every time, I just don't feel right unless my actions are in service to a goal of some sort. I'm resting because I'm tired and want to get more done. I'm preparing food because I know that I can't trust myself to do it later when I'm worn out again. I'm spending 4 hours binge-watching YouTube tutorials because my other concurrent tasks arent stimulating enough.

Efficiency. Not the way you'd expect though. While I DO love streamlining and optimizing things, sometimes efficiency comes in the form of brute force solutions that expend more energy over less time. I am likely to lift large objects without warning if it means solving a problem that others are trying to find a "smart" answer to. Couches? Flipped. Freezer? It's on its end already with the water draining. I'm probably not doing myself any favors later in life, but I can't stand sitting around when something is within my ability to fix.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How much I'd love to be a house-husband. I'm effectively unemployable and my only source of income right now is Disability. I want the freedom to dedicate my alone time to the pursuit of knowledge and my time with my life partner to be devoted to shared happiness.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing babysitter for drunk friends, playing a tabletop game, reading.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My personal boundaries are pretty much nonexistent. The best way to communicate with me is with 100% clarity and honesty.
You should message me if
You can communicate exactly what you want.

You are interested in sharing your hobby.

You are looking for a friendship or relationship built on devotion and trust.

You just want to talk to someone.

You understand that I may not have time to pursue a serious relationship and take my health efforts seriously.

You understand that just because my "looking for" list includes hookup, it doesn't mean I'm going to hookup with random people. I just don't have much love for propriety and tradition when it isnt relevant to a given personal dynamic. Some people require intimacy to gauge compatibility, and I'm ok with that.
The two of us