WARNING: Don't attempt this all at once. Take it in smaller doses if needed. It may cause mixed feelings, laughter, sadness, disgust, loose stools (probably not that), drowsiness, alertness and probably not farting, butt you may do that anyway. It contains off timed silliness and may hav a purposeful mispelt or made up word, phrase or concept. Only to keep ridgidizity (there's one now) low. If you are fully disgusted, please step away from the device and show all your friends how awful this is.
My ugly truths are NOT designed to attract the masses. Only the ones that will take me for me, & not try to change me into someone they want me to be. True happiness can only come from being allowed to be ourselves. Please sift yourself out if you have to live in everyone else's box and don't have your own ideals or won't allow me to have mine.
I have all my own strong straight teeth, but my smile hides them because I nearly have no lips. But what I do have will kiss you softly.
I am an active listener.
My twisted humor has been known to cause barfing but never diarrhea.
Life is serious, just not all of the time.
I know what hard work looks like.
I play a 6 string slappin pop hard funk bass.
I am a Rock Climber.
My shoes or socks don't match, (except work & the like). I have 2 different feet. A left foot & a right foot. So, to dress them both the same just don't make sense. It makes as much sense as buying 2 cars that are identical. If this is a deal breaker for you (for most it is), please attempt out of the box thinking. That would never had allowed the airplane, the computer etc... Life is exciting when we get out of the box and our comfort zone.
I wear ties in the cooler months with everything, or even nothing.
I have a colorful glasses collection.
I have a loud jacket-blazer collection.
I'm dating with no expectations for sex, It keeps the anxiety low. Which puts a damper on the real chemistry. So, casual coffee-tea and convo, that's all that I'm expecting. It can take time for anything worthy. If it's right today, it'll be right in some time. And that could mean today if it hits us just right. Not to say that I don't like sex. On the contrary. Sex is a giant part of a healthy relationship. It should be treated openly, safe, respectfully, mutually, and with transparency to keep the excitement. So if you don't like sex, or use it as a bargaining chip to manipulate, then I am not your guy. But if you do like sex, then let's keep talking and see where it goes.
I don't drink/smoke/drug, but if you do an occasional drink or 420, if it is truly the case, that's okay with me. It's the drunkenness or constantly stoned that gets too much.
Please don't write if you smoke cigarettes.
You must be health conscious and emotionally healthy.
If you're still reading up to this point, you must be somebody special.
Bye for now. Please write me back.
I am assessing my capabilities, multiplying them by my interests, dividing them by my dreams and goals, minusing my mistakes, equaling a perfectly flawed life. In other words I am a work in progress.
Love (as an action, not a feeling)
Giving (kinda the same thing)
Hacky sack (I was #3 in the world in 1981)
Farting (just seeing if I've lost you yet)
Putting my ankle behind my head (maybe)
Playing drums, bass, guitar and singing
Boating, tubing or anything water
Sewing with my own designs
SOMEBODY STOP ME
Warm and loving spirit (so I've been told alot)
My shoes & sox don't match. There's no rules (only that I have to wear something (unless I am riding a bike)).
I don't dress to impress anyone but me, unless society makes me, at the right times.
The Ethical Slut or anything Janet Hardy
Sex at Dawn
Anything Melody Beddie
Anything that will better me from the inside
Saw is too much (yet I will) but I don't mind horror
The Bond movies
I can only do classical in small, live or loud doses
Anything George Clinton
Anything healthy. I am vegetarian.
5) Love making
6) Six more things (I don't have deep control issues, I just have an over active funny bone and its not connected to my elbow or my weiner)
9) Rock Climbing
10) Natures foods
11) My handset
12) And my p****,,, pe***, pen**,,, peni*,,, is this thing on? Ok, my funny bone (I said bone) can be connected to my weiner.
I blow my nose on the street sometimes. To trap it on my face without proper cleanup is icky.
Some poor addiction choices caused my kids to be taken (neglect). I will be visiting but nothing will be permenent. The neglect was short but not short enough.
I don't have any moles on my junk. But ask me. I have funny stories to tell about it.
SOOMEBODY STOP ME!!!