33Schaumburg, United States
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My self-summary
I haven't filled this out until now because (just like everyone else) I never have any idea of what to write in these type of things. Sooooo, I'm a Gemini, I enjoy long walks on the beach, blah blah, blah...
I’m really good at
Clearly it's not filling out dating profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
My boobs.

JK. Probably the condescending look.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I hate these type of questions on principal. So, Fried Green Tomatoes all around, questionmaster.
Six things I could never do without
Internal combustion.
Social interaction.
Intellectual challenge.
Jack Daniels.
Crystal meth.
Those seven things I could never do without.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The immeasurable and sex inconceivable vastness of the universe. Billions of systems sex in billions of galaxies. The sex incredible insignificance of you, me, and everyone sex we've ever known; and everything we've ever done, said, sex or thought. And quantum mechanics. That shit cray. Although sometimes sex I get distracted.
On a typical Friday night I am
Lowering a basket of lotion into a pit in my cellar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm an amazingly well-hung millionaire philanthropist.

Just kidding. I'm super broke.

I don't speak any English. I know how to say everything that I just wrote in this profile, and this last statement explaining that.

You should message me if
you have read the explanations to my questions and you laughed. Also, seek help if you did.

Or if you want to share a hilarious, creepy, or horrifying message you've gotten on here. I recently realized how entertaining they can be. We're awful.
The two of us