AlterAlice
31Washington, United States
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AlterAlice
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My self-summary
I'm a heaping portion of sass steeped in a bubbling sauce of snarky wit with profuse dashes of dada and sprinkl'd-all-o'er with essence of awesome.

Random Facts and Rabelaisian-style Lists are more fun than organized ones:

1. I feel demoralized watering down my personality to suit anyone's tastes. I'm frank, communicative and generally not afraid to tell anyone anything about myself if they seem like-minded.

2. I'm unfailingly optimistic. No matter how vile things get, one has to figure they could always get worse. There have been times when the only thing that kept me going was insisting that, somehow, shit always works out. On the flip side, I'm often drawn towards ridiculously dark music and films. The Greeks had it right: one shouldn't underestimate the value of catharsis.

3. Despite my exuberant disposition, I'm actually quite an introvert; if I don't have enough alone time away from people, I start to get cranky.

4. Alice Little, Mary Poppins, Willy Wonka, Guy Fawkes, The Tick, Beavis, Butt-head, Max Headroom, Charles Xavier, The Doctor, Honor Harrington, Jadzia Dax, Misato Katsuragi, Motoko Kusanagi, Grace Jones, Banksy, Remi Gaillard, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Harry Mason, Ziggy Stardust, and Nathan Explosion are my heroes.

5. I hate cable/network TV. I think it's an egregious waste of time. That, and commercials make my jaw drop open at how totally surreal and vaguely horrifying they are. If a show is really that great, I'll watch it on Netflix or steal my friends' copies on DVD.

6. I'm equal parts geek and intellectual without letting either of these sides making me too terribly unfit for regular human consumption. I <3 survival horror, point-and-click, strategy, and RPG games, old zombie movies, extreme Japanese cyberpunk, high quality/creative anime, stupid Japanese games shows, German-style boardgames, Battlestar Galactica, X-files, and anything having to do with cyborgs and cybernetics. I'm generally not so into the fantasy genre (and if you think dragons or fairies are real, move along--this is not the profile you are looking for).

7. Adventures are fabulous! I dig urban exploration, walks to the park after closing to get chased off by the cops, picnics, scavenger hunts, road trips, visits to new libraries, thrift stores, traffic cone liberations, and trying on crazy outfits at vintage stores.

8. Life is serious business to me and people who don't have a zest for it are hopeless bores.

9. I'm pretty much always reading 5-6 books at once.

10. I refuse to ever stop questioning pretty much everything. Myself included. I think this might be the secret to not getting old.

11. I don't fit well into any gender or style mold. I'm usually rocking menswear-inspired clothing/dapper looks. I am a huge sucker for vintage ties and double-breasted suits.
What I’m doing with my life
I tried to do academia/Art history for quite some time. I'm now a lot happier making delicious things as a professional barista and organizing regular coffee events in the DC metro area as part of DMV Coffee. I do a lot better for myself slinging coffee and educating people about what goes into it than I would as an unappreciated adjunct!

When not at work, I'm probably reading, scouring the internets for good music, or hanging out with my housemates of the human/feline varieties. Friday nights sometimes result in art parties.
I’m really good at
Looking at art, researching, experimenting in the kitchen, making espresso drinks/latte art/coffee, brewing tea, imitating Robert Plant, correcting people's grammar at awkward moments, not mincing words, remembering what page I'm on in books, giving the annoyingly practical solution to a person's problem, being the butt of my friends' jokes (I'm pretty OK with this).
The first things people usually notice about me
Friends say I stand out in a crowd--something about the "way I carry myself". That makes me feel weird, so I'm inclined to say my eyes. They're very animated. Also, probably the fact that I'm (most likely) wearing a tie.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Authors: E.A. Poe, D.H. Lawrence, George Orwell, H.G. Wells, Aldous Huxley, T.S. Eliot, James Joyce, Albert Camus, Franz Kafka, Lewis Carroll, Tom Stoppard, Sam Shepard, Edward Albee, Federico García Lorca, Jorge Luis Borges, Pablo Neruda, Haruki Murakami, Hunter S. Thompson, Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, Phillip K. Dick, Robert A. Heinlein, Arthur C. Clarke, William Gibson, Carl Sagan, Isaac Asimov, Neil Gaiman, Gail Simone, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Donna Haraway... (I <3 books...)

Music: some favorite genres are metal, industrial, EBM, aggrotech, IDM/bastard pop, electro, house, glam, post-punk, new wave, grunge, progressive, and blues rock. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of David Bowie, Giorgio Moroder, Soulwax, Depeche Mode, Ministry, Android Lust, Clutch, Rammstein, and Gary Numan.

Movin' Pictures: Metropolis, Bladerunner, Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Tetsuo the Ironman, Dark City, The 5th Element, 12 Monkeys, Session 9, 28 Days Later, Jacob's Ladder, Dracula, The Seventh Seal, Shadow of the Vampire, Dawn of the Dead, The Crow, Alien, The Shining, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Network, American Psycho, Le Samouraï, Taxi Driver, True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Burn After Reading, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Pi: Faith in Chaos, Shortbus, Fight Club, The Professional, Layer Cake, Snatch, and 13 Assassins

Food: I'm a vegetarian. Spanish tapas, sushi, authentic Italian dishes, and traditional Indian and Thai cuisine tend to be my favorites. I am inordinately fond of gin cocktails and really dry, funky ciders.
Six things I could never do without
This question thinks it's being cute. To qualify, without these things, I feel that my life suffers:

1. Laughing with my best friends
2. Delicious beverages/food
3. Intellectual stimulation
4. The library
5. My two lovely cats
6. Physical affection
I spend a lot of time thinking about
--If I'll ever go back and finish my master's thesis, "The Traumatized Dada Psyche: Reconstruction of Male Gender in Post WWI Germany" about George Grosz's DaDa montages and war trauma. Ex: should we consider the Weimar Republic to be a 'culture of trauma' collectively afflicted by the events of WWI? How did the effects of war trauma challenge Germany's concept of 'maleness'? How does the application of the 'hysteria' diagnosis shape current scholarship of George Grosz's work? How could Grosz's work contribute to contemporary dialogues on mental illness, war service, and social revolution?

--COFFEE. Making BETTER COFFEE. Drinking MOAR COFFEE. Getting MOAR people to drink BETTER COFFEE. Getting MOAR people to make BETTER COFFEE.

--Teaching Pandora to play me Industrial music.

--The Absurd. And whether I laugh more at it or it laughs more at me.

--Why blazers for women don't have breast pockets for my pocket squares, damnit.

--New permutations of relationships that don't exist yet--but could.
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually going to bed early (~10PM) like a granny who opens a coffee shop in the morning. Saturday nights, now those are the ones to watch out for!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once dreamed that I was Kevin Costner. And I was butt-naked. I can't make this up.
You should message me if
-You want to join my people collection.

-You're intellectual, inquisitive, and obsessed with knowing stuff without being pretentious.

-You like to watch crazy-awesome movies by crazy-awesome directors, have your mind blown, then talk about it.

-You'd like to go urban exploring and know of a few decent spots. I'd share info on some good sites in MD.

-You want to listen to some good music.

-You have a huge hard on for honesty, sex positivity, consent, and using your adult mouth words.

-You read and thoroughly comprehend THE IMPORTANT BIT:
I am into a few alternative lifestyles. I dig some kinky things, but don't require it (good ol' passionate, regular sexy times are great, too!). I am also hugely into queer fashion and see it as a reflection of my fluctuating gender moods. I feel sexy whether I’m wearing lipstick (admittedly rare), letting my armpit hair go under flannel shirts, or sporting a full suit and tie. Most importantly, I don't do monogamous relationships. I have a partner and we function with complete honesty about our extracurricular activities. What this means for me is that I aim to love people to the utmost of my ability, seek to surround myself with others focused on being kind and open, and don’t run from deep attachments by mistaking them for ZOMG-we-have-to-be-together-forever-dom. To me, love includes giving people I care about the space to seek what may fulfill them. This doesn't, however, mean I will mess around with just anyone. Be weird, original, and interesting and I'll probably think you're hot.

The best description for what I'm after right now would be long-term casual (i.e. buddies who like to hang out regularly, but may also develop other fun benefits). I'm into meeting people who like to get drinks/food, see museum stuff, and go to goth/queer/kink events, etc.

You probably SHOULDN’T message me if these apply:

-You couldn't share me/my time with others, or are 100% gender/hetero-normative.
-You can only think of the descriptor "cute" for me.
-You would describe yourself as "just a normal guy/girl."
-You don't read books.
-You think that climate change and/or evolution are leftist conspiracies.
-You're a Flaky McFlakerton.
-Your idea of an introductory message = "Hey ______, how's it going?" and you fill that blank with: sexy, hottie, beautiful, doll, princess, gorgeous, bby grl. I should not have to explain this to grown people.
-You are a vanilla cis-gendered couple who only wants a queer person in their bedroom as some kind of relationship experiment.
-You want to mansplain me DADA (the thing I wrote a thesis on). I will send you creepy sound poetry videos and pictures from Ernst Friedrich's War Against War!
-You're going to message me with a stale proposition for sex from the get-go. Even on the interwebs, there are ways to go about this.
-You're That Guy who answered that No is sometimes "a yes in disguise" to "No means NO!" in the match questions.

You might still be an interesting person despite any/all of these behaviors, but I guarantee we won't get along.
More
The two of us
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