38Minneapolis, United States
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My self-summary
Why, why, why am I still on here? Have I offended god in some way as to be cursed to OKcupid limbo for eternity?To writhe in my own awful sigularity till my body decays in a cold grave dug only for one? Nothing left but my online profile to show I once lived and "liked" and joined only dating websites that were free... or maybe its just my personality. ;)

Post Script: If you have messaged me and I have not responded, please do not take offense. I have a strategy that will be revealed in the surprise ending...
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to land me a man! And writing a post apocalyptic trilogy for teenage girls. Think Hunger Games meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Only with less starvation and more BDSM!
I’m really good at
Being facetious. Training dogs.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm super freaking hot! And very humble... tattoos, red hair, my one crooked tooth ~edit~ I am now a blonde (still hot) Pictures to come.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have read everything Stephen King has ever written. Every short story, novella, ebook. Everything!
Right now my favorite movie is Drive cause Ryan Gosling is hot. My second favorite is Bronson because Tom Hardy is hot, though not necessarily in this movie. But its a great movie and Tom Hardy is usually super hot so its number 2. Third favorite -Anything with Arnold Schwarzenegger. There are lots others but too many to list but Arnold takes care of at least 10 of them.
My favorite shows were all on FOX in the 90s and aired on Sundays - Xena, Hurcules, Simpsons and X Files. I would make popcorn. Best hangover cure ever. Also Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Breaking Bad.
I like punk, hair metal, grunge, 90's hip hop and jax/blues. But only old like Muddy Waters, not Eric Clapton. Love Rolling Stones, hate the Beatles. I like Himilayan food.
Six things I could never do without
Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The meaning of life. facebook.
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing my online dating profile.
You should message me if
You are a man with a job, a phone, a working car and do not currently live with your mom ~edit~ You are a man. That is all.
The two of us