28Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
Call me an applied computational sociolinguist.

In my experience, most problems in day-to-day life can be solved by looking up the etymology of words.

Those that remain probably aren't worth getting upset over.
What I’m doing with my life
When I was in grad school, I occasionally thought wistfully about the idea of getting a well-structured, linear job like stocking shelves.

Then I left my Ph.D. program, and since then I've occasionally looked back wistfully at the well-structured, linear career path of a tenure track academic.

I've been doing lots of interesting things in and around Pittsburgh this year, but none of them have been well-structured or linear.
I’m really good at
Staying at 5-star hotels, but spending my time there wandering around the back alleys, exploring the service entrances.

Wearing blazers over t-shirts.

Writing down good ideas on post-it notes.

Appreciating poorly-lit cafés.

Putting on conversational hats.
The first things people usually notice about me
We're talking about awfully serious, quantitative topics, and being startlingly whimsical about it all. Are consulting documents supposed to have this much... well, this header just says "Gobbledegook." You got paid for this?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I spent a lot of the last year woefully behind on pop culture, but I'm working my way back. I recently finished Mad Men and am now finding out what happened on House after I went to college and gave up on cable.

I've been surprised to discover that tablets now function as e-readers. My 2009-era Kindle, which was last seen hurtling through a living room window, was woefully inadequate compared to this new iPad Air, which I may attach to myself at the wrist.

I read Isaac Asimov for ideas and John Green for feelings. Currently reading: Welcome to the Monkey House.

I attended the last two years' worth of Firefly Music Festivals and am proud to claim that I knew about it before it was cool.
Six things I could never do without
It turns out none of these six are "forms of photo ID." After my last trip abroad I went through several weeks having lost both my driver's license and passport and the only harm it did me was being barred from a bar once.

UPDATE: I applied for a new passport. Will probably escape the country by nightfall once it arrives.

UPDATE 2: Passport arrived! If you have ideas, propose a country and we'll leave within the fortnight.

Similarly, I used to think I couldn't do without USB chargers and particularly the standardization of charging ports across devices. This was disproven when I simply stopped charging my phone for days, and nothing bad happened.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I don't think grammatical errors are that big of a deal, and I'd like to convince other people of the same.

I rearrange the furniture in my house a lot; recently I installed 700 Christmas lights, mostly in icicle format, and rendered the ceiling light entirely obsolete.
On a typical Friday night I am
Disagreeing with roommate icon0clast about the contents of this profile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm quietly the CEO of a multi-million dollar technology company.
You should message me if
You have a whiteboard you're looking to fill.

You're suspicious of profiles that label "easy-going" or "laid-back" as primary personality attributes.
The two of us