I probably won't offend you, but my lifestyle might. I identify as pansexual and polyamorous. I'm a Satanist, a sex worker, and a feminist. Translation for those who I don't want to talk to: man-hating, godless, baby-killing, pinko-commie, heathen, feminazi, dyke slut faggot seeks same.
[A note on polyamory: I am poly identified, not just currently but always, and am repulsed by the idea that my relationship with one person would limit my relationship with another. In that vein, my partners and I practice polyamory independently of each other, and strive for a non-hierarchical approach to relationships.]
[PS. I'm engaged to the voraciously intelligent and devastatingly handsome elfGigoloGod, who I cohabitate with.] Gaze upon my poly, ye monogamous, and despair!
Being the center of attention comes naturally to me, so if you see me at a party, I'm usually telling some story fairly loudly. If you've got children with you, might wanna cover their ears.
On the flipside, I often suffer from hella social anxiety, so if you see me outside smoking weed and looking terrified, it's because I'm having a panic attack and am trying not to break down in tears in front of everyone.
Words are important to me, and I try to pick mine out with the utmost thought. Oftentimes this leads to me sacrificing brevity for the sake of precision.
Consent is important to me, which is why I ask people before touching them. People trend to assume from this that I dislike physical contact, which could not be further from the truth; I'm a cuddly motherfucker. I try to also be respectful of boundaries.
My best friend and arch-nemesis, Hydracula can probably drink you under the table. You should check her out; she's an amazing talented artist, and for sure the coolest person you'll find on here.
I've realized that I have, not entirely consciously, started to use OKC more like a networking opportunity than a dating site; I haven't had much interest in dating as of late, but I still love meeting people. As a result, my messages have shifted away from "would you like to grab a drink?" and toward "would you like to collaborate on my Idea with me?"
This isn't to say that I have no interest in ever sexing a new person again, but I ain't looking, per se. This is something to keep in mind while you peruse the rest of my profile.
Hablo muy poquito espanol, pero yo quiero aprender mas. Quieres ayudarme?
Меня зовут Анастасия. Я только что подключила русскую раскладку на компе, но еще не научилась ею пользоваться. Привет!
I am bohemian, adorkable, and hippie-go-lucky.
My queer cabaret has been put on hold (student loans create a singular kind of focus) but I'm always looking for performers, so if you've ever wanted to do any kind of drag, please drop me a line.
For the past decade, I've been working part-time as a Dominatrix at a dungeon here in LA; this is the same place that Pangæa, the cabaret, takes place at.
On the subject of scandal, I am a sex educator who specializes in non-monogamy as a topic. I also lecture on kink and basic sex ed. My classes emphasize communication and I try to work in as much nerurochemistry as I can throw at people without their eyes glazing over.
As a product of over-educated white people, I fetishize academia. I'm also a compulsive grammar prescriptivist, though I'm moving away from that on account of the whole classism and racism aspect of it. Still, you can take my prescriptivism, but you'll never take my Oxford comma! Anyway, while I am aware of the problems there, I'm holding on to my fancy book learnin' fetish.
Finding new ways to add garlic to everything.
Cuddling on the first date.
Not budgeting myself.
Parallel parking. If we're ever out together and you need me to park your car, just ask. I like showing off.
Driving stickshift. I am so bored by my automatic transmission, but I can't afford to change it to manual. Next car, though, for sure.
Over-thinking things and expressing my thoughts and feelings in about twice as many words as everyone else, not because I have that much to say or because I'm terrible at self-editing but because I am f*cking verbose dammit and if teal deer bother you move along.
If they hear me, they notice I kind of sound like a dude. Yeah, it happens.
If they find me at my home, they'll notice I'm not really wearing clothes. I rarely do.
I love books, and I spend all my free time and money on them. I have a bit of a fetish for the nice, leather-bound ones. I also listen to a preposterous amount of podcasts. Also, I can't fit it into any of the categories below, but honorable mention to the Crash Course series.
Authors: Chuck Palahniuk, Oscar Wilde, Tom Robbins, Richard Feynman, Terry Pratchett, Carl Sagan.
Books: World War Z, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Princess Bride, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Little Prince.
Comic authors: Neil Gaiman, Mike Mignola, Warren Ellis.
Comics: Y: The Last Man, The Goon, Scott Pilgrim.
Webcomics: xkcd, Girl Genius, Dresden Codak.
Cartoons: Animaniacs, Venture Bros, Gargoyles, Adventure Time.
Movies: Fury Road, Reefer Madness: The Musical, Kamikaze Girls.
Shows: Hannibal, Parks and Recreation, The IT Crowd, Star Trek, Dr. Who.
Music: Mother Mother, Die Antwoord, Gogol Bordello, Flobots, Royal Crown Revue, Johnathan Coulton, Tom Lehrer.
Podcasts: Radiolab, This American Life, Tales of the Extraordinary. BTW, if you check that last one out [it's old time style radio drama] and you like it, drop my friend jofesh a line, because in addition to being the cat's meow, he is one of the creators of the show.
Food: Sashimi, avocado, garlic. I make an amazing basil-garlic sauce that'll kick your teeth in.
Dessert: Chocolate mousse, kiwi, blackberry.
Drink: Tea, Merlot, fruit juice.
Карлсон, который живет на крыше.
How we need to infiltrate popular media more effectively so as to use the mass media machine to pump out anti-sexist, anti-racist, anti-classist, anti-ableist, body-positive, sex-positive, queer-positive propaganda. I long to see a sex symbol in a wheelchair.
Why anyone would ever respond to the awkward-ass emails I send out. They're the most derp-tastic things ever, like the textual equivalent of pulling someone's hair and then running off. They are not smooth. I turn into a little internet Milton, kicking the ground while I lisp about how you remind me of my red stapler. And yet occasionally I get a response; I'm as baffled by this as anyone.
I preach body positivity but suffer from self-loathing related to my weight. This makes me feel like a hippo-crite.
The Zombie Apocalypse is something that I both believe in and am prepared for. But wait, now I'm justified with SCIENCE!! Anyway, hit me up and we'll discuss our contingency plans.
Looking shit up is not a mysterious ritual to you. I'm not here to be interrogated, so any questions to which answers are available elsewhere will be responded to with "Let me Google that for you."
You wanna be in my drag show! You wanna help me with my site! You want me to be in your project! Let's collaborate on something awesome. :D
You want to teach me something or have me teach you something. I'm not too particular, we can figure it out. Currently looking to learn juggling, drums, and guitar, and improve my poi, staff, silk-ribbon climb, and pole dancing.
If you speak Russian. I don't know any Russians and the only people I can talk to are my family. My grasp of the language is going to shit. Please God someone talk to me in Russian. Also looking for people to practice Spanish and Sign Language with.
As I've mentioned, my partners [my status says Available, not Single, see?] are the very handsome and amazing elfGigoloGod [please don't judge him by his SN]. He's pretty fantastic, and no, messaging me does not mean also messaging him, and dating me does not mean dating him as well [though that could be fun].