Arachnoristocrat
25 Fayetteville, United States
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Arachnoristocrat
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My self-summary
my shelf-summary: it's made of wood and there's stuff on it and I should probably hit it with some pledge but I don't feel like moving the things on it in order to do that
What I’m doing with my life
Stand-up comedy and reading, so really nothing too important. Except drinking excessively, that's very important.
I’m really good at
Having a skeleton, preparing for the Skeleton War. I will straight up DESTROY a glass of milk to get these bones strong.
The first things people usually notice about me
e v e r y t h i n g
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is the part where I'm supposed to tell you how radicool and cultured I am, right?
NOTE: THIS IS LENGTHY AS HECK BUT I AM TOO LAZY TO MAKE IT MORE CONCISE SO WHATEVER

Books: The Brothers Karamazov, anything by Kurt Vonnegut, PIHKaL and TIHKaL. Johnny Got His Gun, Catch-22, Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All, My Tank Is Fight!, Doctor Thackery T. Lambshead's Pocket Guide to Eccentric and Discredited Diseases, DMT: The Spirit Molecule, Liminal States, The Plague, A Confederacy of Dunces, Roadside Picnic, Infinite Jest, Gravity's Rainbow. Zack Parson's That Insidious Beast serial was fantastic.
Movies: John Waters is the best person.
Favourite movies: Manos: The Hands of Fate, Troll 2, anything MST3k, Seven, The Brave Little Toaster, Four Lions, Space Jam, Solaris (Tarkovsky), Stalker(also Tarkovsky), SLC Punk!, My Neighbor Totoro, Akira, There Will Be Blood, Super, Primer, Boogie Nights, Un Chien Andalou, Hesher, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Cobra, Rock-a-Doodle, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Wristcutters: A Love Story, DMT: The Spirit Molecule, Final Flesh, The Poughkeepsie Tapes, Pontypool, Gummo, Special(rx), Home Movie, Martyrs, Take Shelter.
Cronenberg, Peckinpah, Paul Thomas Anderson.

Music: JOCK JAMS, Cannibal Corpse, Holeboss(SHAMELESS EGO TUG,) Meshuggah, (early) Mastodon, Kanye West, Strapping Young Lad, JOCK JAMS, Delta 9, Django Reinhardt, Wisp, KWWRR, Gogol Bordello, JOCK JAMS, The Mountain Goats, Dummy Plug Conspiracy, JOCK JAMS, Osaka Noise Ensemble, Boards of Canada, High on Fire, Electric Wizard, Weird Al Yankovic, JOCK JAMS, Flight of the Conchords, Sunn O))), Kid Koala, Clutch, Mustard Plug, Slayer, Egyptian Head, Aux Raus, Tom Waits, Scout Niblett, Reverend Horton Heat, Dick Dale, Death Grips, Dr Octagon/Kool Keith/Dr Dooom, Atari Teenage Riot.

Food: I absorb my nutrients directly from our sun, food is obsolete. Also, pizza.

Shows: Wonder Showzen, MST3K (I was Zap Rowsdower for Halloween one year) Xavier: Renegade Angel, Breaking Bad, Louie, Always Sunny, Moral Orel, Frankenhole, Delocated, Archer, Game of Thrones.
True Detective is probably one of the greatest shows ever.
The six things I could never do without
A
E
I
O
U
Y (sometimes)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
a skeleton just fucking shredding on a guitar
On a typical Friday night I am
heck a phat j bird and make merry with your bropadres
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i've got a skeleton inside me, don't freak out
You should message me if
You want to let me drag you around to comedy shows, get moderately intoxicated and give eachother stick and poke tattoos, or talk about books and shit, whatever.
Just please don't be boring.
Also if you don't think skeletons kick ass this isn't gonna work, friends or otherwise.
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