AssMan316
30 Kingston, Canada
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AssMan316
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My self-summary
*I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR* (or I have CP,(Cerebral Palsy) to be more specific.) lol yeah, believe it or not most women don't pick up on that right away hahaha. and women say guys are bad at reading profiles? Bottom line, if u don't mind the fact that I'm a cripp, orr if u happen to be down for some hot wheeler lovin, then please send me a msg. Otherwise....... don't do me any favors. Enjoy the rest of my profile. This is a bit long and I apologize. I've always wanted to write a novel and thought I should practice writing one on my OkCupid profile first. Anywhoo if u'd rather skim down to the Why You Should Message me section that should suffice.

Hey peeps, just another hopeless soul trying to ascend from the bottomless pit that is online dating, care to help me escape? So I'm a bit silly, if we hit it off I will most likely sprout off about something ridiculous and will enjoy every minute of it. Whether you enjoy it however, is of no concern of mine. ~_^ This isn't entirely true of course as I find there is no greater joy in life than making a sweet little chickie smile. No ok, I haven't had much sex as of late so I wouldn't blame anyone who might be thinking that my priorities might be slightly askew. haha. It should be known however, that despite my love of being silly I can also be rather quiet and or shy, and thus sometimes I'm more than content with enjoying my partner's company without saying anything. I also pride myself on being as honest and sincere as possible. Or in other words, you never have to worry about me blowing smoke to further my own interests. On that note, I guess I should mention that I've been in a few adult films, I got drunk at an adult film convention and ran into some people who specialized in disability related porn and the rest was history! Of course I'm JKz...(but I'd be most flattered if thought I was serious. :P) Although such porn does most certainly exist. You can read the vice article here:
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/what-its-like-shooting-your-first-alt-porn-when-you-have-cerebral-palsy. Needless to say. That isn't for me. I'm a pretty simple guy. Whether it be going to concerts or movies or going for walks to the park and or beach. I appreciate the simple things in life. That being said, I stay in a great deal as well since I don't really have anyone to do things with. The old friends who are married and have kids bit is quite in nowadays. And let's be honest, who wants to go to the park with a smelly old guy anyway? I know I don't! Also Fyi; I smell glorious incase you were wondering. I guess that's it for now, msg me if u want to go to the park or something, and if by chance it's too cold out, netflix and making an amature porn will suffice, but that's only if we really have to. ;) Dorkazoid Away!!! bye.

Just a little sidebar here: About the name A$$Man3:16. It's a Seinfeld and Wrestling reference, nothing more, nothing less.
What I’m doing with my life
Really don't know. I tried 3 semesters at college and it didn't pan out. I'm hoping to go back to school I just don't know what for.
I’m really good at
Being neurotic, Being honest, Being a nerd. Recommending music, Sharing my feelings, talking with kids,(I'm told) being intuitive, being Lovey dovey...lol video games(I guess) Making typos( Sorry Grammar Nazis..) Being a Wizard( so I'm told. haha.) Giving good advice. Being Logical. Being a hopeless romantic.
The first things people usually notice about me
my wheelchair or my eyes.. lol I've been told they're awesome.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music.

Metal, Death Metal, Thrash Metal,
Prog Doom Metal,Black Metal,
Sum Power Metal, Sum Folk, World Music,
Psychedelic Music, Jazz, Blues,
Here are some of my favs and or what I am currently listening to:
Black Metal, look away!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxprS6tKQSI

My Fav of 2015. Also, look awayyy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaFIDnsWCQQ

Another fav of 2015. I think you may like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh5mWzKlhQY

A fav. I swear I'm not lying....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unCVi4hYRlY

Ahh Mr Wilson. you can do no wrong. (also saw them live)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efsm6aJPybg

Top 10 band top 10 song, also saw them live.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2IVCyFt2Os

Not gonna lie, I'm quite surprised how much I enjoyed this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vsf3zYppP4

No reason you should avoid this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5rnmCEDn6c

Or this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mP4AjZShlbM

Or this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvBKcRu9eC8

Could go either way. I think it's pretty dope tho.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9mhsW5aWJM

Good Luck... Weird Orchestral Odyssey Comming Through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHgm4Hoco8c

Literally found this while making this list. I knew this was a great idea!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9tfJzSgilo

Tarantino + this band, make it happen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMtrxjAbnXo

Bad metal is bad look away. Top fav
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-SCyXecLZg

Fav band covering another fav band of mind, Points if you know who they are, also look away. Fyi; Saw the covered band live more than twice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZprzPj7CkU

The song that got me into Death Metal, also saw them live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4pzLJdHddU

Top 5 band, also saw them live. Srry, forgot to tell u to look away. DM is bad..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chiVF7U33d8

Literally my fav vid of all time. they're metal and u need to watch it even if u don't like metal, mmmkay? Also saw them live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chiVF7U33d8

Saw these two live more than once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsdIO8RHMTc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxu1bku4wN0

Sleepytime romance music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiBsJPEDJeg

Played this live on Nov 19th, not gonna lie, I marked out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvz8jtZ3f5s

Z**** is God, also saw his son live more than once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp6LT2MdaPI

They played this live and I fucking died. Also, they're metal but it's not too bad, I promise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5abdXpvBR0

I have a favorite song of the year... this does not happen often.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55XlIPzY5q0

Dolphin-Man with a toupee!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOxxAdRtU1w

My fav band period. Look away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxQPOuAE2Js&list=PL25EB0CB0C4A2DD6D

Movies
Tarantino,Robert Rodriguez, Peter Jackson, Sam Dunn,
Christopher Nolan, Martin Scorsese Kevin Smith, Wes Anderson, Disney.

Books
I read alot of comics, tho like most things, I get behind. I have tons and tons of Hardcovers from Marvel DC Image and Dark Horse that I have yet to read. Favs include, Spider Man, X-Men, Dan Slott She Hulk, Watchmen. Preacher. Annihilation, Fables, The Walking Dead. Buffy, Hellboy, Y The Last Man, Promethea, BPRD, Starman, Hickman Fantastic 4. Daredevil, Sin City, The Invisibles, All Star Superman.
Regular books, pretty anything Haruki Murakami and Neil Gaiman, Game of Thrones, Sookie Stackhouse, Hyperbole and a Half

TV.

The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, The News Room, WWII docs. Tho I no where close to being well versed on the subject. The Flash, Penny Dreadful, Six Feet under, Banshee, Jessica Jones, Fraiser, Daredevil Alias, Lost, Buffy, Angel, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Anything Mafia Related.
The six things I could never do without
Metal, Music, My Computer, My Family, HBO, Spell Check, The Oxford Comma, Books, Exercise, Netflix, Love, Last Fm

Some things I could do without:
Cheese Wiz, Cheese in General, Bats, Spiders, Creepy Crawly Things. Presents, Bad Metal; ie, Trivvy, Six Feet Under, Lamb of God, Cradle of Filth. Ps. it's ok if u like them just so long as I can try and save you. :P Bigotry, especially the feminist kind. Facebook... even tho I'm on there every day. haha.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The perfect girl I've yet to meet, Music, Sexy Books, Vinyl, That fucking Seattle play.... -_- How to be a happier person, Netflix, A good Doc, Why so many people think mistaking your and you're is actually a good way of measuring someone's intelligence. The difference between the two is literally this... 'e.... jussayin... And no I don't make that mistake since typing u are is much faster. Or at least I think it is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Apparently Okcupid knows what doo on a friday night... Can you say big fat loser? Haha. if I'm lucky I'm chatting with a cute girl, but I'm most likely listening to music while learning words i would never use in everyday life. Stay strong my familial proletariats, for I wish u luck in avoiding the acerbic vicissitudes that infest the realm of okcupid!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
This one time a bat flew into my room and freaked me the fuck out. ask me about it, there was a flamethrower and errythang! also I'm not the most confident bloke on the strip. Tho I'd like to believe that I've improved in that area a little. Finally, I've been on Duolingo for a year and I'm probably only 10% fluent in the language I am taking.. haha.
You should message me if
You like what you've read so far, and u think I'm cute, If u like cripps, if u want a long term relationship (This is perf) if u want a fling, If u like nerds, If u are drawn to, or find socially awkward shy people endearing, if u are a socially awkward shy person, If u like beards, If u like metal, if this turns u on: http://www.last.fm/user/ASSMan316 ,if u like to snuggle, if u like to cuddles! If u like Pro Wrestling, If you are a hopeless romantic, if you like dorks, if you yourself are a dork, If you like Comics, If you like movies, If u like video games, If u understand how much I love the Crystal Mountain, If you've ever had a fantasy about a bearded man in a chair. If u like Bad Jokes, if u smell of cinnamon, if u taste like cinnamon, if you are a hopeless romantic, if u are a BBW, if u aren't a hard core grammar nazi.

Also, if u like me, just say hello. unlike some people on this site, I'm not looking for creative msgs, I'm looking for people who are interested in me and people with whom I may connect with. So as of now u have no excuses!.... as if that would make a difference..."sigh" lol.

Also, if I msg u, don't just msg me back because u think it's polite. If I don't float your boat it's ok... don't feel bad. Cause frankly, I'm looking for women who find me legitimately attractive.

Another don't: If u aren't willing to provide a realtime pic of yourself holding some letters and numbers of my choosing, or better yet, cam me for 10 seconds so I can make sure u are legit, Then don't bother seeking me out. There are alot of wackos out there and I don't think it's too much to ask to see pics and/or see that person on cam. Because to me, online safety is important. Simple as that.
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