32 Chicago, United States
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What I’m doing with my life
Finishing up my last year of unpaid labor and slaughtering sacrificial lambs in order to appease the American Psychological Association. Fortunately, therapy is sacred enough work that I can trick myself into being okay with the current situation. Next year will be spent somehow tricking myself into completing my dissertation.
I’m really good at
- confronting demons (and sometimes befriending them).
- applying Hanlon's Razor.
- explaining jokes. I hope you like your jokes explained.
- dealing with the dilemma of being a meaning-making creature in a world without inherent meaning.
- drafting professional wrestlers and divas for my fantasy professional wrestling league.
- screaming into the void.
- gently whispering into the void.
- tenderly caressing the void.
- filling out the "I'm really good at" section of an OkCupid profile.
- being meta.
- knowing when to qui
The first things people usually notice about me
Hella loud laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
TV - Golden Girls; Twin Peaks; Always Sunny; Bob's; Breaking Bad; Silicon Valley; Star Trek TNG

Movies - Air Bud: Spikes Back; Air Bud: World Pup; and Air Bud: Golden Receiver (in that order). But NOT Air Bud, or Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (terrible, terrible movie).

Books - The Last Air Bud by J. M. Coetzee; Air Bud is for Everyone by bell hooks; Baby Geniuses, The Book (a novelization of the 1999 smash hit comedy movie, Baby Geniuses)
The six things I could never do without
- Vipassana
- Soccer. Unless I blow my knees out again and then: fuck it.
- Kangaroo Jack on BluRay
- L.A. Beast
- My charming boyfriend, MoopocalypseCow
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- how to smash the goddamn White Supremacist Capitalist Patriarchy
- power dynamics.
- if Sisyphus is really happy? (The answer is: yes. (I gotta believe, man. I gotta believe.))
- WWC(ftcs)D???
(What Would Cathy (from the comic strip) Do?) (and then do the opposite.)
- the cognitive and affective underpinnings of humor.
- the politics of humor. (Always punch up.)
- crafting the perfect facebook status.
- how to get the dog to stop licking the carpet.
Conversely, I spend a lot of time not thinking while watching my cat's tail hypnotically sway back and forth while he saunters around the house.
On a typical Friday night I am
who cares
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've cried while watching Drop Dead Diva. However, rather than attributing that to being pathetic, I prefer to believe it is a manifestation of a profound capacity to connect with the human experience through various forms of art, regardless of merit.
You should message me if
- you do not use "Social Justice Warrior" as a pejorative.
- you're profoundly self-absorbed but instead of sinking into narcissism, you've just found ways to try to expand and relate with every single living creature in the universe
- you can make me think about some outrageous claim I have made in my profile/question explanations in a different light
- you don't plan to lecture me on how weird and confusing it is for you that I am already in a relationship and on here, or how off-putting you find it that I have pictures of other men in my profile, or how much you resent me for tricking you into being interested while already involved in a romantic relationship.