35 Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
Frankly, I don't particularly care if I get a date out of this site. But I would love to meet a few puppy parents of any gender. As a yet another pawn in the finance world, I simply don't have enough free time to adopt one myself, so I figured I could feel the love vicariously. I guess what I am saying is, I will walk your dog in the park for free.

Here is more about me:

My favorite quote is “Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.” It speaks to my inner math-nerd’s fascination with numbers and female anatomy.

Carbohydrates are my illicit drug of choice. Give me a bagel and a muffin and I will go "OH YEAH!! LETS PAR-TAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!" (I also added coffee to the equation recently. I used to never drink so now just one cup turns me into the energizer bunny.)

When in Rome, I do as the Carthaginians do.

I have a (probably unhealthy) crush on Daria Morgendorffer.
What I’m doing with my life
Living and working in midtown, helping the rich get richer for a pittance.
I’m really good at
Excel. (I am like a gorilla in the excel monkey jungle).

Beating girls at arm wrestling.

Enjoying the little things in life.
The first things people usually notice about me
On many occasions I have been told I remind them of Shrek.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Adventure time.

The six things I could never do without
Serenity, courage and wisdom.

Also an alarm clock, naps, and cheese.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Does eating most of my lunches at chop't make me less of a man?

What exactly is a stud muffin? Is it like a muffin version of shepherd's pie?
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing it by the ear.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If we are eating together and I am not in a good mood, you should not let me order for the group. I will order enough food for an army.

I cant dance to save my life, yet I somehow ended up in a dance off in the middle of a club recently..... I guess the moral of the story is vodka = awesome....

I want to hate the anaconda song, I really do, but it amuses me way too much.

Sometimes I make major life decision for a good pun.

I don't have any selfies and in a silly way I am kind of proud of that.

My massages are illegal in 17 states for being too intoxicating.
You should message me if
You have no overwhelming reasons not to.

You need someone to walk your dog.

You are willing and able to help me out with head and hand stands.

You want to have pickle backs with me.