39Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I have no clue what to write here. I am your standard nerdy and jaded thirtysomething who has it all figured out/knows absolutely nothing about life.

Yuck, self-description is awful. The only interesting things I can think of to list are potential character flaws, which, if you meet me, will make themselves known soon enough, I'm sure.

Humor. I thrive on humor. Make me laugh and we'll get along just fine. Being a smarty-pants is good, too. Wearing good pants: also a plus. Oh wait, this is supposed to be about me...
What I’m doing with my life
You're reading it.

Also, I work in healthcare, so if you're in need of horrifying/disgusting hospital stories I can probably accommodate.
I’m really good at
spelling and making toast.
The first things people usually notice about me
Sarcasm. Unnatural whiteness. Chances are I will remind you of a celebrity or fictional character with no hair. Popular choices are Lord Voldemort, Maynard Keenan, Powder, and most recently Boy George.

Yeah, that last one was a bit tough to swallow...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
More than I can list here. I have more books than is healthy to own (and counting) and a tablet, which means I spend about 98% of my time reading. Please don't tell my boss.

I read equal parts fiction and nonfiction. History, science, and biography are probably my favorites in the nonfiction department. Favorite fiction authors off the top of my head are Anne Rice, China Miéville, Wesley Stace, Ian McEwan, Charles Dickens, Lian Hearn, Donna Tartt, Ursula Le Guin, and, of course, Tolkien. I'll give just about anything a shot, within reason. Just no S&M ladyporn, thankyouverymuch.

I love most ethnic cuisine, excluding Eskimo and anything from Bizarre Foods, but I will attempt to try new things so long as they're not too know, like balut or kæstur hákarl.

I listen to music that I like, regardless of its popularity, which means I like a lot of stuff that people have never heard of. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Television: Anything that makes me laugh is most welcome, and fortunately there's a lot of that on television these days. I'm a huge fan of British television. Anyone looking at my Netflix queue would probably assume it belongs to an English senior citizen; I've never met a British murder mystery I didn't like.

Also, life could never be complete without a liberal dose of the Golden Girls. In heaven I live on their street and we have parties on the lanai.
Six things I could never do without
Coffee, red wine in moderation (or excess if the mood is right), books and their digital equivalent, tomatoes...lovely lovely tomatoes, my phone that is smart, and the sweet oblivion of Netflix/Hulu Plus.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
clever ways to frighten people.
On a typical Friday night I am
hopefully doing something not stupid. I do enjoy a drinking excursion on occasion, but with middle age swiftly approaching I generally just drink at home like grandpa should.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I love taking ugly photos of myself; it's freeing. If you ask real nice I'll send you one!
You should message me if
you like nerds, toast, and being frightened in potentially clever ways.
The two of us