40Tampa, United States
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My self-summary
I dislike describing myself. I avoid it whenever possible, so I don't get a lot of practice at it, which makes me not like trying. It's an ugly cycle. Like when I was in school and the teacher would ask us to introduce ourselves to the rest of the class. I usually just repeat whatever the last person said. It only gets awkward occasionally like when the person before is pregnant. Past that, I'm just some guy, you know?

It should be noted that I have no idea what language Ilongo is. I'm hoping that having it listed in my profile will silently shame me into finding out both what it is maybe even learning a little of it. This will undoubtedly fail and result in my execution in a hereto unknown country after insulting their prime minister (this, assuming Ilongo speakers have both their own country and a parliamentary system).
What I’m doing with my life
I'm not actually using it right now if you want to borrow it. However, please have it back before the weekend, but this time show some common courtesy and have it dry cleaned before you give it back for god's sake.
I’m really good at
Nothing. Honestly, I can't think of anything I'm really good at other than wishing I was really good at something. I'm mildly OK to significantly competent at everything else. Anything beyond that I'll need a manual and a week to get up to speed.
The first things people usually notice about me
Is that despite my height I've somehow gotten behind them unnoticed.... and that I have a weapon.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I prefer speculative scifi, but any fiction with a humorous tilt to the writing is good (e.g. Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, Christopher Moore). The best kind of humor is dry wit or absurdity.

Movies? About the same as books. Scifi, or theater of the absurd.

Not really into music enough to have favorites, but I know what I like.

Ditto for food. No true favorites, but I'll try almost anything and let you know.
Six things I could never do without
Several years after creating this profile and leaving this question empty I've updated it to say that I still can't even imagine that things exist which I honestly 'could never do without'.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Dunno..... How to fill out essays on dating sites? No... that's not right. I'm done thinking about it already and it's only been a minute.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drinking, reading, or working logic puzzles. Sometimes I like to live on the edge and read under the influence.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That would be the stuff I said in this profile.
You should message me if feel like it. If you don't feel like it and are being forced against your will to write me, please ask me how my dog Ringo is doing. That code phrase will alert us to your distress and an extraction team will be dispatched immediately to your location. This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds. Don't forget to tip your server.
The two of us