43Swansboro, United States
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My self-summary
Self made successful man looking for a girl to hangout with. I travel a lot and would really like a companion. Educated and smart but love to have fun. Love good food and drink. Never dated a midget, that would be cool. I'm a little bit crazy but the doctor says I'm much better now. Most people think I look like Zach Galifianakis. And I don't have rotten teeth or dip or smoke tobacco. I really need someone to look after me, you know, wipe the crust out of my eyes, give me a mint when my breath stinks, and make sure I wear cloths that match. I once wore a v-neck t-shirt backwards for an entire day and nobody told me. I don't mind if you have kids as long as none of them can beat me up.
What I’m doing with my life
I live in a van down by the river. Also working to further my cat-like reflexes.
I’m really good at
Saying the wrong thing,
Running red lights,
Buying Skoal for underage kids
The first things people usually notice about me
They think I'm Zach Galifianakis
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite book: Lord of the Flies
Favorite movie: Papillon
Favorite show: South Park
Favorite music: Rock
Favorite food: Tacos
Six things I could never do without
1. My crazy pills
2. My toothbrush
3. Toilet paper
4. Clean underwear
5. Sun glasses
6. Beer
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to get rodeo clown blood out of a Chewbacca costume
On a typical Friday night I am
Being a drunken loud mouthed slob
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was born a poor black child in Mississippi. I once poured Red Bull on a butterfly with a broken wing, it died. Also, I know how to make a bomb out of a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite.
You should message me if
You just want to hangout.
The two of us