29 San Jose, United States
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My self-summary
I am Jesus Christ. You're all saved! You're saved and you're saved. And you and you and you. Everybody is saved! It's a goddamn Christmas miracle.
What I’m doing with my life
Water into wine, healing the sick, nbd.
I’m really good at
What? Brag a little? Hello, the son of god. No, even better, I am god. Wait, no, I'm confused. That doesn't make any sense. You, geisha, bring me a bible.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fifty shades of THE BIBLE. C'mon son...

I saw The Passion of the Christ in IMAX 3D four hundred and eleven times. But then you bitches took it out of theaters. So I bought the blu-ray and am repurposing the sun to be my private projector. Hope you weren't using it.

Satan has been using one of his wholey-owned subsidiaries, Comcast, to throttle and otherwise extort my Netflix. I am displeased.

Water. Fish. Bread. Occasionally dirt. I have an overwhelming aversion to wine and crackers. That's all I'd like to say on the matter.
The six things I could never do without
Crosses. A thousand times, crosses.

Wait! I misread the prompt! Noooooooo
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When I was a kid, people used to come to my school that professionally yo-yo. Then they would peddle their yo-yos to the kids. Maybe I could ditch this messiah thing and you know, pivot. I can yo-yo.
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't spend Fridays on Earth anymore, they haven't been Good to me. Worst. Pun. Ever. I won't apologize. Fuck you.
You should message me if
I don't respond to messages, only prayers. And only from incredible, brilliant, centered, beautiful women. Now you know.

Pray for me.