I'm the kind of guy who tells an art snob my favorite painter is Thomas Kinkade just to revel in that awkward moment of silence that follows. He's the painter of light, y'know?
Otherwise, I'm sitting back waiting for my Pog-based mutual fund to mature so I can retire young and light things on fire with $100 bills.
I have a grown-up job in property management. It's boring to talk about, but I like the people I work with and generally find my job satisfying enough.
Finding free parking Downtown.
Impulsive road trips.
I also seem to get an inordinate number of compliments about my eyelashes.
And I have a beard. And glasses. Traditionally, on, or around my face.
I'm also quite fond of periodicals like The Economist, Foreign Affairs, The Atlantic, and Vanity Fair.
Podcasts. Savage Love. Dan Carlin's Common Sense, Hardore History, This American Life, Planet Money, Radiolab.
Music. The bulk of my music collection is hip hop, especially Southern hip hop. UGK, Big KRIT, and Outkast are my favorite artists ever. But I get down to some R&B, and jazz, too. I have the musical tastes of a 40 year old black man, really.
Having said that, I can enjoy just about something from any genre. Except Dubstep. I don't get it. It sounds like robots doing it, and not in the sexy way.
**Inserting non-sequitur list of some of my other favorite artists in an attempt to look eclectic and cultured**
Z-Ro, DJ Screw, The O's, Mrs. Glass, The Von Bondies, Roy Ayers, Kermit Ruffins, The Meters, The Dramatics, Gershwin, Portishead, Otis Redding, Devin the Dude, Lenny Williams, Al Green, Sublime, KRS One, Wu Tang Clan, Three 6 Mafia, Geto Boys, DJ DMD, Bill Withers, The Beatles, Percy Sledge, Curtis Mayfield, A Tribe Called Quest, Neville Brothers, Dungeon Family, The Blow, Eric Clapton, The Temptations, Earth Wind and Fire, Raheem Devaughn and on and on and on
Food...If it tastes good, it's going in my mouth. Except mushrooms. Or olives. I wish I could enjoy them. But I can't. Because they suck.
Master P's seminal classic "Make 'em Say Ugh!" is one of my all time favorite songs.
- You want to hang out somewhere peoplewatching and quietly be judgy assholes amongst ourselves.
- You want to conversate about things.
- The word "conversate" makes your skin crawl.
- You want to drive around listening to rap at a high volume.
- You want to twerk on me. Twerkers welcome.
- You read Achewood.
- You want to nerd out over hip hop, comedy, or politics.