Benjamin1250
29Woodside, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Benjamin1250
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
A Ravenclaw who values sly and cunning thought. I sometimes tell myself that I am ruthless, but time has shown that I care too much about other humans to be a Slytherin. I view the world as an abundant land of experiences and opportunity, while at the same time I am a skeptic of my surroundings, wary of noise and distractions from reality. I prefer to listen before I speak, but I am very comfortable acting on incomplete information.

I practice ethical non-monogamy. I find hierarchical relationship structures detrimental. NYC is both very fulfilling and too much at the same time. I try to find balance between soaking it all in and escaping from it.

I'm not very good at hanging out with people that I don't like 'all the way'. I tend to connect most with people that are able to be alone with their thoughts for extended periods of time, and are able to speak to what is true for them. I like when someone is confident when they know what they're doing, but also realizes they will never know everything. When I meet someone that never pauses to question their reasoning, it's a huge turn off.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a super cool job. I'm a engineer who works on energy efficiency, commissioning, energy management, and sustainability consulting. Made the transition to management last year, which is challenging, empowering, and sometimes terrifying. My goal is to have courage, to do right by my people, and also have a positive impact on the world. My job is really important to me, and it's been going really well. I am working with folks that care about having a positive work environment and doing the right thing, which is cool as heck.

aresenum and I raise a dog together. She does most of the work though. Radish, moon of my life, is our eleven month old Australian Shepherd. Things I've learned:
1. Puppies are capable of great and terrible things
2. God, this is a lot of work
3. I love this

I never thought of myself as a dog person before, but this experience is helping me to form my own definition of 'family' that I did not know was there. Still don't want kids though.

Other things - I like listening to podcasts, doing some indoor rock climbing, or planning a trip to West Virginia for a hippy camp that has a mild resemblance to a cult.

I find myself wanting to get out of the city frequently, and I usually drive north for about 45 minutes to go hiking every few weekends.
I’m really good at
Being way too competitive with board games, making fresh squeezed orange juice, making burritos, explaining why Cards Against Humanity is a shitty game, picking the best light bulb you could possibly imagine, and having laser-like focus until a problem is solved.

I do happen to be a huge dork with a big collection of board games. My house mates and I host board game parties every month or two.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Books about psychology, business, and sociology. Lean In, Naked Economics, More Than Two, Good to Great, and First Break all the rules
Shows: Easy, Better Call Saul, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Girls, Louie, Broad City, House of Cards, Steven Universe, Bojack Horseman
Music: Opeth, Stephen Wilson, Folk Metal, Explosions in the Sky
Food: Burritos, Gatorade, granola, orange juice, burgers, thai food.
Podcasts: This American Life, Planet Money, Crimetown, Serial, Startup, Reply All, Invisibilia, Science vs. etc.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Is there a way to filter out couple profiles on here? I swear 1/3 of my 'Browse Matches' page are these clowns that only want to date someone together.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Survivor is probably my favorite show. #noshame
You should message me if
My primary love language is 'acts of service'. If yours is too, it will be easy to communicate.

I'm comparatively strict when it comes to safe sex practices to a lot of folks out there. I'm not going to feel comfortable having sex unless you know a thing or two about risk factors and take a proactive approach to sexual health. #sexy

You are in to non-monogamy, and take a non-hierarchical approach to it. I stay away from those that use veto power for both our sake. I usually avoid anyone that is specifically going into things with a narrative about what a new relationship should become. Read this if you're interested.
https://www.morethantwo.com/primarysecondary.html

On this note - I am a pretty big fan of Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert's approach to poly, where they hold two fundamental maxims to be true:
1. Don't treat people like things
2. The people in the relationship are more important than the relationship

You're looking for a meaningful relationship where we push each other to be the kind of people we've always wanted, to live courageously, and find out things about ourselves that we weren't aware of.

I'm a career oriented person who cares about family, friends, raising a dog, volunteering my time, and needs time to himself sometimes. To me, a good partner is someone who does not view the things that I'm passionate about as problems/barriers to building a relationship; but rather encourages behavior that has a positive impact on those around me. I try my best to do the same.
More
The two of us
--
Sex
--
Dating
--
Lifestyle
--
Other
--
Ethics
--
Religion