Benjamin1250
29 Woodside, United States
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Benjamin1250
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My self-summary
A Ravenclaw who values sly and cunning thought. I sometimes tell myself that I am ruthless, but time has shown that I care too much about other humans to be a Slytherin. I view the world as an abundant land of experiences and opportunity, while at the same time I am skeptical of what lies on the surface. I prefer to listen before I speak, but I am very comfortable acting on incomplete information.

I believe in empowerment of women in the workplace and discarding gender norms. Probability is the closest thing I have to a god, and I reject the idea of universal morality.

I practice ethical non-monogamy. I find hierarchical relationship structures detrimental. I try to give more than I take, and my ideal self is a person who is compassionate when under stress, and courageous when afraid.
What I’m doing with my life
I have a super cool job. I'm a engineer who works on energy efficiency, commissioning, energy management, and sustainability consulting. I'm a 'boss' now, which is challenging and stressful, but pretty awesome when I think about the impact I'm having. I am working with folks that care about having a positive work environment and doing the right thing, which is cool as heck.

When I'm not working or spending time with my partner aresenum, I'm spending time with Radish, our five month old Australian Shepherd. Things I've learned:
1. Puppies are capable of great and terrible things
2. God, this is a lot of work
3. I love this

I never thought of myself as a dog person before, but this experience is helping me to form my own definition of 'family' that I did not know was there. Still don't want kids though.

Other things - I like listening to podcasts, doing some indoor rock climbing, or planning a trip to West Virginia for a hippy camp that has a mild resemblance to a cult.

I find myself wanting to get out of the city frequently, and I usually drive north for about 45 minutes to go hiking every few weekends.
I’m really good at
Being way too competitive with board games, making fresh squeezed orange juice, making burritos, explaining why Cards Against Humanity super sucks, getting really excited about HVAC and picking the best light bulb you could possibly imagine.

I do happen to be a huge dork with a big collection of board games. My house mates and I host board game parties every month or two.
The first things people usually notice about me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Mostly nonfiction and essays. Books about psychology, business, and sociology. Finished "Lean In", "Naked Economics" and "The Art of War" not too long ago. Haven't quite finished "More Than Two" yet, but I'm working on it. Currently reading "Good to Great"
Shows: Easy, Better Call Saul, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Adventure Time, Girls, Louie, Broad City, House of Cards, Steven Universe, Bojack Horseman
Music: Opeth, Stephen Wilson, Folk Metal, Explosions in the Sky
Food: Burritos, Gatorade, granola, orange juice, burgers, thai food.
Podcasts: This American Life, Planet Money, Crimetown, Serial, Startup, Reply All, Invisibilia, Science vs. etc.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why can't polyamory be seen as 'normal'? Can't wait for that day to come.
Corporate culture
Kink culture
Leadership
Business
How strange it is to identify as a moderate, despite my hippy like eccentricities
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Survivor is probably my favorite show. #noshame
You should message me if
My primary love language is 'acts of service'. If yours is too, it will be easy to communicate.

I'm comparatively strict when it comes to safe sex practices to a lot of folks out there. I'm not going to feel comfortable having sex unless you know a thing or two about risk factors and take a proactive approach to sexual health. I move slowly and deliberately. #sexy

You are in to non-monogamy, and take a non-hierarchical approach to it. I stay away from those that use veto power for both our sake. I usually avoid anyone that has a 'primary' partner, or is specifically going into things with a narrative about what a new relationship should become. Read this if you're interested.
https://www.morethantwo.com/primarysecondary.html

On this note - I am a pretty big fan of Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert's approach to poly, where they hold two fundamental maxims to be true:
1. Don't treat people like things
2. The people in the relationship are more important than the relationship

You're looking for a meaningful relationship where we push each other to be the kind of people we've always wanted, to live courageously, and find out things about ourselves that we weren't aware of - while at the same time not putting each other at the center of daily living.

I'm a career oriented person who cares about family, friends, raising a dog, volunteering my time, and needs time to himself sometimes. To me, a good partner is someone who does not frame time consuming things that I'm passionate about as problems/barriers to building a relationship; but rather encourages behavior that has a positive impact on those around me. I try my best to do the same.
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