46Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm generally pleased with life while also keenly aware of, and working to end the injustice around me. I love meeting new people, listening to your stories, and feeling the spark of connection. I've been taking a break from dating for a while. My life is good, full of beauty, plenty of fun, lots to think about...and I'm open to something else.

I'm personable, sweet, kind, loving as well as smart, assertive, discerning, and bold. I grew up with brothers so being friends with men comes very naturally to me. I'm generally pleased with my creative busy life and I have room to welcome someone new. I'm mostly looking for a lover who is another intelligent humanist. I'd love to find someone who wants to talk about sex, spirit, politics or culture, eat good food, take a road trip, and enjoy a meaningful intimate connection.
What I’m doing with my life
I live an active life. I write for a living, working at a big nonprofit championing arts and culture. I spend time off alone and with friends. I have a vibrant community. I value my friends for their caring, love, ethics and bravery. I exercise daily, sleep a lot and relax regularly. I love sex when I'm with someone who lights my fire.

I enjoy dating because it's fun to meet new people. I like to correspond a little first, and then meet in person. I'm not here to find a new penpal. I live in Oakland and would like to date locally. I'm open to a lot of different kinds of new relationships. I've been lucky to have a good number of positive past relationships, some of which were poly and some monogamous. Mostly I'm just open to feeling that spark of true connection, and sometimes there's more than one at the same time.
I’m really good at
In other words, what do I love to do? I'm a professional writer so I think about words all the time. I'm very good at my job which involves bringing money to my organization. I'm great at putting a beautiful home together and hanging out quietly reading or resting. I'm also great at listening to other people, helping my friends through hard times, and standing up for what I believe in. And then, of course, there's kissing, I'm really good at that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love to read. Lately I've been reading award-winning fiction. I especially like the Booker prize winners. I've got a lot of lit education under my belt so I could go off on books for a long time, but suffice to say, it's a passion. Right now I'm reading David Mitchell. I just finished reading a couple books by Marlon James that I really loved. Also recently read The Fifth Season and will finish that trilogy soon. It's a mix. I also read Bitch magazine, the New Yorker, and Domino magazine for home decorating porn, the occasional cookbook (or online recipes), and the NYTimes online for news. I listen to Radiolab and Popculture Happy Hour. I'm passionate about feminism and other equity issues, enjoying our gorgeous environment, and seeing art. My favorite movies are McCabe and Mrs. Miller, A French Lieuntenant's Woman, and A Room with a View but I'm also a sucker for action movies. I've seen all the Bournes including the new one and watch sci fi tv shows way too much. I just love to be entertained. For culture, I'll always see dance, am sort of a museum snob, and try to hear live music when I can afford it. I go out dancing about once a month and especially like tribal, breaks, and other electronic music with a good beat. Most of my friends are into dancing too, and many are former ravers. I also like to dance for exercise. I do yoga once a week at least and take hikes. I'm into the new restaurants and cocktails up to a point. It can get a little tiresome trying to keep up with all the foodie shit but I'm entertained pretty easily by good food. I can talk politics but my favorite conversations are usually about human relationships, including race relations, spiritual or philosophical questions, and sex.
Six things I could never do without
feminism, family, friendship, the beach, coffee, sex, writing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm pretty goal oriented so I like to set my mind in a direction and head that way. I think about equity issues a lot and am currently trying to help my organization move in a more progressive direction. I really value my friendships and think about how to increase meaning and closeness in my life and the lives of those I love. I think about my old relationships more than I'd like but I've resolved a lot of my own longing for what I don't have. I like the idea of having a new love relationship so I fantasize about that sometimes. I continually think about how to become both emotionally and physically healthier. I just started a meditation practice. Every experience teaches me something as long as I can slow down enough to pay attention.
On a typical Friday night I am
Fridays vary...sometimes I stay at work hanging out with my colleagues, sometimes I take a walk in the cemetery to let go of the day, often I meet a friend for dinner and a movie, if I'm up for it I go dancing, if I'm not, I make dinner at home, smoke a bowl and watch tv.
You should message me if
there's room in your life for someone you can respect and cherish

you really want to meet someone awesome

you can think of something to say in response to this profile that's more than hi, or how are you?

you live in the San Francisco Bay Area and honestly want to meet someone in person

you like yourself and you're ready
The two of us