39London, United Kingdom
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
The simple version is that I am looking for an emotional,
funny, sensual, and intellectual bond with someone that I actually like. But that's not so simple, perhaps, and I am so in love with that first flush of attraction.

Maybe this is what I need - - though equally I'd like to think that I can do the same for you.

There's a pretty long profile down there (which I've been trying to trim!), but you can skip to the "message me if" bit if you wish.

I'm intelligent (though, sometimes not so smart, and always happy to have stupid conversations, as well as deep philosophical ones), well read(ish), a little obscure, creative, well travelled, curious about the world, passionate, grown-up (most of the time), and with a well developed sense of irony about how we make life a container for things.

At this point, I know enough to know that there is much that I don't know, and while certitude has its appeal, I am quite comfortable with that.
What I’m doing with my life
Sitting in pavement cafés, metaphorical and real, speculating about the inner lives of people around me - what motivates them, what are they into, what's their story? This is more fun in foreign countries where I can imagine that they're not talking about redecorating the kitchen.
I’m really good at
Discussing art, history, politics, literature, film, relationships etc, and pushing boundaries of conversation and convention. Oh and a degree of self-awareness which means that I know how that sounds!

Not so good at the stages of life that other people find so easy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told I have nice eyes in a certain light, and a strong gaze, but damn bluey eyes and myopia.

Oh, and my randomness.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
It occurs to me that us liking similar things might be a starting point for friendship, but its not necessarily conclusive for that or anything else. But, I do like this quote:

“If you go home with somebody, and they don't have books, don't fuck 'em!”
- John Waters

I did have a long list here, but my tastes are many and varied and I wouldn't want someone to take that list and think, so that's him then.
Six things I could never do without
Art, books, both in terms of substance and the feel of them, travel, coffee, red wine, communication, empathy, and sex, which should never be mundane or transactional. Exploration can be fun, though not an end in itself.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The fact that I like music, but can go months pretty much without, and then embark on a binge.

Love, sex, fantasies, and human relations more generally. "Sex at Dawn" is a fascinating book, so I think about our failure to fulfil our bonobo potential and the harmony that might come with it...but this should not be read as a veiled reference to polyamory. I think that humans may be either too mature or not mature or enough for that, but either way, it's not me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Open to suggestions.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The things that I'd admit in a profile are a lot less interesting than the stuff that I might otherwise admit, whether cultural, sexual or outlook on life.

I will say that while I am nominally a grown-up, and hold down a professional job, I struggle with the concept a bit. So, I prefer the less jaded, and conveyor belt minded people....while still liking some nice stuff....
You should message me if
You're intelligent, sensual, sex and culture positive (a slightly wanky term I'll concede), funny, maybe a bit kinky (without taking it too seriously), and believe that relationships can at their best be our little conspiracy, as we laugh at and yet enjoy the outside world and the people in it, then we might get along ;)

I consider myself fortunate; those that have been significant in my life have been incredible, in their own individual ways. I am picky but it's not something that I can absolutely define in advance.
The two of us