38Leeds, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
*A word of warning: this is gonna be some long-ass business! So TL:DR version - I'm all good, let's have a chat. You may pick from a myriad of answers I have left to start a chat because God knows I'm unable to! However if (like me) you wish to get a feel for someone (no pun intended) read on*

Hi, I'm that weirdo who never knows how to introduce myself short of stumbling into peoples lives... I think I'm a nice guy, and you can ask me what you want... Actually please do ask something as we are supposed to be on here to get to know new people.

It does throw me off a bit when people say 'Don't start a conversation by saying Hi! How are you?' What do you want me to say? Do people seriously come to you in real life and say "Gleeblegloob" instead of Hi? Don't be silly. I, unlike them and possibly you, don't take it as offensive or boring as it is a perfectly acceptable greeting in the Western Hemisphere. I'll tell you what, as a test you message me first with something other than "Hi!.." and we can see where it goes!

We can't all be that shy can we? Well yes. I am very shy at first. This is why I just look at people at the moment. Take it as a first message, and say hello or start a topic. I know that may sound boring or a cop-out, but I try to message and people think 'He's probably said that to a million others' but I genuinely don't know how to start a conversation on this sort of thing, (without saying 'Hi!') but once I get going I get going!

To myself, I think I look quite good (I've looked better though) but to most I probably look like a Bulldog chewing a Wasp but as long as you're cool, I'm cool. I also am a believer in not putting a filter on my photos (not least the fact I don't do Instagram etc. And yes, I know when you have a filter! The amount of "You should be a model..." or "What are you doing on a dating site?" chat up lines must be staggering.

I have now pitched up in Leeds (well, just outside of it), however you will find me in lots of places including Manchester (down t'road) and London (dahn sarf) and other towns and villages that take my fancy (suggestions welcome!).

That's me. Now let's get it on.
What I’m doing with my life
I am doing a lot... but currently I'm looking at a Laptop... Or my phone.
I’m really good at
See, I could go the creepy creep man route and come out with something cheesy and noise like 'Get your clothes off, and I'll show you what I'm REALLY good at!' But then that would come across as.. Oh who am I kidding?! We all want to say some terrible line like that! Come on! Have some fun for once in your life!... And I'm actually a pretty good cook.
The first things people usually notice about me
OK, I'm bald. bald as two Coots. Unfortunately I have Alopecia *cue Violins please* which makes me not only bald on my head, but bald EVERYWHERE (yes there!) I don't even have eyelashes it's crazy, I mean I used to have one of the coolest Afros and a hip, cool and trendy beard * 'before Hipsters existed' and now I'm completely bald my confidence went a bit and I end up on dating websites... *stop with the Violins now* I make up for it by copious amounts of hats... lots of hats... I now like hats... hats.

*Check out the 'Message me if...' section for more beardy fun.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Films: BACK TO THE FUTURE!!! That is all. Actually I like a lot of films, mostly comedy and sci-fi because I'm a massive geek, but I'm not adverse to the odd shocker! I hope the lady out there isn't adverse to the odd 'shocker' either! *holds fingers in position*... Too far? Now we know our boundaries.

Music: Excuse me a moment.... Wait on a sec, I'm just getting something.... Ahem! BOW DOWN TO MY MIGHTY SWORD OF ECLECTICISM!!!! *holding sword aloft, whilst thunder crashes and lightning is... lightening?* I actually do love all types of music - even Country! It's just particular songs I don't like, so whatever floats your boat will be sunk by my Battleship. HMM! HMM!
If you have Spotify check out this:

Books: Like films on paper... My favourite book is Day of the Triffids. Read it. It has everything.

Food: Anything goes, except Shellfish. I would make it my duty to curse your entire family before dying of anphylaptic shock. I also don't like soup. Or toast.
Six things I could never do without
In no order whatsoever:




Cigarettes ('Jazz' or otherwise)



This is strictly for survival, you do know this? And if we strike up regular contact outside of our machines, you WILL have to provide at least three of these six items to me at some point...

..OK, Friendship, Music and Water will have to do.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I have been recently thinking about some things, including:

When you see a Magpie, the old Nursery Rhyme comes out. 'one for sorrow, two for joy' etc...
I saw two Magpies 'doing it'... What does that mean?

Why do Elvis impersonators always go for the fat 1970s Elvis?

What would happen if a Horse and a Bull successfully mated? Would a Unicorn come out?

If we have Special K cereal, is there a Normal K cereal?

When people see a Ghost, they are usually clothed in the period clothing they died in... What if you died naked? Would you be a Nude Ghost?

Fried chicken shops (that aren't KFC) usually have a picture of a happy chicken (chef's hat optional)... Why is this?

Why are raspberry flavoured things like ice pops and slushies all BLUE?! When was the last time you saw a blue raspberry in the wild?

If the plural of a sheep is 'sheep', why isn't the singular a 'shipe'?

Why aren't finished buildings called 'builts'?

If The Queen reached 100, would she send herself a telegram?

Why are there so many procrastinators on OKC? Does anything ever get done?

Does anyone know the answers? Let me know...
On a typical Friday night I am
I do what most people do on a Friday night... If I'm out playing, I'm out playing... Player. I don't know where that came from, I must be channeling my inner 1993 Gangsta'

However, if you're in the areas I am (Yorkshire/Greater Manchester/London) and you need someone to spend a Friday night with (concerts/festivals/bars/your house) - send a message! - I will try my best!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you read my answers to questions, you will see who I am... With some (unproven) Science, (questionable) Facts, and (whacked-out) Philosophy that some may deem 'Private'... I try to comment on all questions, but if you have something to ask about anything let me know.
You should message me if
Message me if you must, but don't be one of those people who start a conversation and then just go completely blank after a couple of messages (alas, this happens all too often). Either don't start a conversation or at least give a reason to finish it... I mean, it annoys the bejeesus out of me when people don't finish their

I believe that free things should be free, so if you like me don't do that 'Just like' thing, because I won't see who you are - just drop a hello or a full stop if you can't talk! Go on... You know you want to!

Additional: What's all this nonsense about Beards/Moustaches?! I know its all the rage these days to look like a Grizzly Bear in an Amish village, but think about it people, does a beard make them any more witty, intelligent or a better person in general? Or are you just following fashion. It's the fashion isn't it? Check out a person, not a beard for Jeebus' sake! Or watch 'Portlandia' to see how silly it all is.
The two of us