Hi, I'm that weirdo who never knows how to introduce myself short of stumbling into peoples lives... I think I'm a nice guy, and you can ask me what you want... Actually please do ask something as we are supposed to be on here to get to know new people.
It does throw me off a bit when people say 'Don't start a conversation by saying Hi! How are you?' What do you want me to say? Do people seriously come to you in real life and say "Gleeblegloob" instead of Hi? Don't be silly. I, unlike them and possibly you, don't take it as offensive or boring as it is a perfectly acceptable greeting in the Western Hemisphere.
We can't all be that shy can we? Well yes. I am very shy at first. This is why I just look at people at the moment. Take it as a first message, and say hello or start a topic. I know that may sound boring or a cop-out, but I try to message and people think 'He's probably said that to a million others' but I genuinely don't know how to start a conversation on this sort of thing, (without saying 'Hi!') but once I get going I get going!
To myself, I think I look quite good (I've looked better though) but to most I probably look like a Bulldog chewing a Wasp but as long as you're cool, I'm cool.
I have now pitched up in Leeds, however you will find me in lots of places including Manchester (down t'road) and London (dahn sarf) and other towns and villages that take my fancy (suggestions welcome!).
That's me. Now let's get it on.
*Check out the 'Message me if...' section for more beardy fun.
Music: Excuse me a moment.... Wait on a sec, I'm just getting something.... Ahem! BOW DOWN TO MY MIGHTY SWORD OF ECLECTICISM!!!! *holding sword aloft, whilst thunder crashes and lightning is... lightening?* I actually do love all types of music - even Country! It's just particular songs I don't like, so whatever floats your boat will be sunk by my Battleship. HMM! HMM!
If you have Spotify check out this:
Books: Like films on paper... My favourite book is Day of the Triffids. Read it. It has everything.
Food: Anything goes, except Shellfish. I would make it my duty to curse your entire family before dying of anphylaptic shock.
Cigarettes ('Jazz' or otherwise)
This is strictly for survival, you do know this? And if we strike up regular contact outside of our machines, you WILL have to provide at least three of these six items to me at some point...
..OK, Friendship, Music and Water will have to do.
When you see a Magpie, the old Nursery Rhyme comes out. 'one for sorrow, two for joy' etc...
I saw two Magpies 'doing it'... What does that mean?
Why do Elvis impersonators always go for the fat 1970s Elvis?
What would happen if a Horse and a Bull successfully mated? Would a Unicorn come out?
If we have Special K cereal, is there a Normal K cereal?
When people see a Ghost, they are usually clothed in the period clothing they died in... What if you died naked? Would you be a Nude Ghost?
Why are raspberry flavoured things like ice pops and slushies all BLUE?! When was the last time you saw a blue raspberry in the wild?
If the plural of a sheep is 'sheep', why isn't the singular a 'shipe'?
Why aren't finished buildings called 'builts'?
If The Queen reached 100, would she send herself a telegram?
Why are there so many procrastinators on OKC? Does anything ever get done?
Does anyone know the answers? Let me know...
However, if you're in the areas I am (Yorkshire/Greater Manchester/London) and you need someone to spend a Friday night with (concerts/festivals/bars/your house) - send a message! - I will try my best!
I believe that free things should be free, so if you like me don't do that 'star' thing, because I won't see who you are - just drop a hello or a full stop if you can't talk! Go on... You know you want to!
Additional: What's all this nonsense about Beards/Moustaches?! I know its all the rage these days to look like a Grizzly Bear in an Amish village, but think about it people, does a beard make them any more witty, intelligent or a better person in general? Or are you just following fashion. It's the fashion isn't it? Check out a person, not a beard for Jeebus' sake! Or watch 'Portlandia' to see how silly it all is.