30Buena Park, United States
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My self-summary
Writer, dreamer, feeler, stuck on self-discovery

An empath battling an inner derilect

My mind is a blessing and a curse, but music keeps me balanced

I would be nothing without the compassion from loved ones
What I’m doing with my life
I bullshit my way through life on the summary and index pages of things that are supposed to be important.

I offered my body and mind to the educational mechanism referred to as UCLA. I think I survived, but a part of my soul was lost...for now I am reassuring myself that I'm still human while I learn how to be selfsufficeint in an insufficient predicament.
I’m really good at
Words: putting words in strange arrangements, making up words, making words make sense of thoughts and making thoughts make sense of words; you know, whatever feels right

Making your muscles ache. But also massages. Anything I do with my hands, really

Guesstimations and cartographic tendencies. I am a map

Awkward mannerisms

Listening and sympathizing

Not knowing what I'm doing on the guitar and making it sound like music

Making you poop
The first things people usually notice about me
distance and desperation
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
readings/writings I mostly read old dictionaries, ingredients on foods, shampoo bottles, etc., summaries and index pages. For books: Thunder and Roses, The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas, Transgender Warriors, Watchmen, Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth, The Doors of Perception, Trainspotting, Maus, Sandman.

Stanely Kubrick, Danny Boyle, David Lynch, Alfonso Cuaron, Hayao Miyazaki, David Cronenberg.

uh. Jeff Goldblum. Uhhh. Disney trash. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A Place to Bury Strangers, Alcest, The Angelic Process, Burial, Crystal Castles, Fleetwood Mac, GERM, Grey Waters, Grimes, HEALTH, Holy Other, IAMX, Kill J, Pink Floyd, The Protomen, Purity Ring, Rush, Sixth June, Slipknot, Slowdive, Stone Sour, Summer of Haze, System of a Down, SZA, Vagina Vangi, Veils, Venetian Snares, Visions of Trees, Wolves in the Throne Room, Zola Jesus.

Superjail!, Aeon Flux, Evangelion, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Tim and Eric, The Mighty Boosh, AHS, Breaking Bad, FMA: Brotherhood

vision box interactions.
majora's mask...silent hillzzz...2...eternal darkness.

art peeps.
zdzislaw beksinski, kathe kollwitz, max ernst, salvidor dali, francisco goya, caspar david friedrich, hans bellmer, ellen von unwerth, william blake, gustav klimt
Six things I could never do without
The knowledge that there is more to life than we can imagine. Music, freedom, love, rainy days, family/friends
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I'm constantly psychoanalyzing people and figuring out why they behave the way they do. I enjoy delving into your perspective and tearing out your passions so I can consume them, bereft of inhibition.

I think about reality and feeling as real as possible with people. I think about unreality and living in an illusion. I don't like trying to define, prove, or disprove any idea of God; our absence of understanding of how and why things work leads to a cycle of questions to answers we had to begin with. Morality will always vary through space and time and humans will always miscommunicate their intentions to one another.

Our basic instinct is to survive and reproduce and to love one another. Survival is knowing that equlaity creates greater love and happiness; love and happiness survives longer than apathy, rage, greed, pain, jealousy, ignorance, vengeance, violence and fear. The more courage you have in love the less fear you'll find in acceptance. Applying this knowledge is the wisdom to divinity
On a typical Friday night I am
Exploring putrid suburbs; trying to find that endless pit on the outskirts of town filled with the deepest, most wretched undertakings of the general populace so I can expose it to the blind, impoverished, and brainwashed victims of society who cling desperately to their last remaining vestige of humanity.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i am selfless to a fault; i push myself to make others happy rather than ever focusing on myself. lucky you. one day i hope to invoke value into who i am, but i haven't really found myself yet. my life is too deprived for me to be content with anything. my passions are too vast for me to be decisive on a set path. i lack determination because i've never really had anything to be determined for...except for other people.
You should message me if
You like to get weird and deep.

You have an open heart and mind.

You can teach me alchemy.
The two of us