33Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary
Hey guys! I'm Brandon. Let's see, what else... There has to be more than just my name... Well, I live in south philly and I love it. I work for a restaurant in center city and I love it. I have a black cat named Barky and I love him. And I'm single! Which I don't really love. (I sometimes don't hate it either..)
I guess I'm here looking for someone who can pay all my bills and take me on fun vacations.
Well, vacations would be fun, but my ideal mate and I would equally contribute to the vacation fund.
Speaking of ideal mate.. He would be attractive (and by that I just mean someone I find attractive. And that can vary greatly to what "normal" people find attractive) he would also be funny. Or at least understand all my stupid jokes. I do tell a lot of them. If I were a muppet I would be fozzy bear. (Wakka wakka) ideally, I would like to find someone who has time for me. I don't work a typical schedule so I would like to find someone who was flexible. If you wake up at 6 every morning, we may run into some complications as I'm much more of a night guy. Not that I sleep all day, I'm just usually up later than most. I like all kinds of guys but when I'm in a relationship, I only like one guy. You! (If you're lucky) not into the whole open relationship thing, at least I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be into it. But never say never, huh? So if you think you're up for the challenge, send me a message. You never know what might happen next!
What I’m doing with my life
Currently I'm enjoying my life. The past few years since my last relationship have been eye-opening to say the least. I know this sounds cliche but I've really learned a lot about who I am as a single guy and who I want to be as a boyfriend. As bad as my last relationship was I'm very thankful it happened. Because of that rough time I've grown to really love myself (almost completely!). I'm working on it every day and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. For real! I workout almost everyday and have put some really great positive people in my life. But I have room for a few more. As long as they're not big on complaining and feeling bad for themselves. I don't really have room for those guys.. So much baggage.
I’m really good at
I'm really good at fast forwarding through commercials. Like, I'm a fucking pro! Other good things are finding the positive in any situation. And I can do it in a non-annoying way. I promise I'm not one of those overly positive-bubbly-guys. Just a normal(ish) guy who doesn't like to dwell on bad junk.
The first things people usually notice about me
I guess people usually notice my huge tits! And I don't blame them, I've got a great rack! But after that I hope they notice that I have a "everything can be funny" type of personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm admittedly a tv junkie. Mostly funny shows. Like snl, 30 rock, parks and rec, bob's burgers, Seinfeld, strangers with candy, Broad city, inside Amy shumer, Roseanne, alf, etc. But I also have a thing for the housewives. I know that might be a big turn off for a lot of yall but I just can't help it! They suck me in every time!
As far as books, I like any autobiographical novel written by funny women. And funny men. Of course I liked Tina Fey's book, mindy kaling, Rachel Dratch, Jane Lynch, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea handler and those that followed. But I also liked Dan Rather's book "Rather outspoken" (and clever, if I may) and "what remains" by Carole radziwill. Speaking of housewives, I also read Brandi glanville's book. The whole thing...
For movies I again like funny movies. Romy and Michelle's high school reunion, clueless, space balls, Robin Hood: men in tights, superstar, wet hot American summer, and dumb and dumber (ps, I did not see dumb and dumberer or dumb and dumber to.. I love the original too much and don't want to be left with a bad taste in my mouth)
Speaking of tastes in my mouth...
I am a meat eater. I love beef, chicken, chili cheese dogs, bbq junk and bacon. But I sneak some vegetables in there too to balance it out. I'm not a super picky eater but I don't really like a lot of fish. Especially sushi. I've tried to like it but I'm just not into it.
Six things I could never do without
My phone
Taco Bell
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Well, boys. Sounds so junior high, but I spend a lot of time thinking about y'all. I'm kinda boy crazy. And I have a pretty wild imagination. Just seeing a cute boy on the street can send my brain into imagining a whole life together. Like our wedding, mundane fights over nothing and what an ikea trip would be like. But I swear I'm not crazy!
On a typical Friday night I am
Either working or hanging out with some friends at dinner or a bar or both. Or, having a night in to myself. Where ill watch bad tv, order worse food and do a lot of organizing and moisturizing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I watched "The Carrie Diaries" and not just to make fun of it. I actually enjoyed it. Please don't look at me... I'm so mortified!
You should message me if
You have an open sense of humour. If you don't take EVERYTHING so seriously. I like to have fun and so should you. Say hey, we'll grab a drink and see what happens. You never know...
The two of us