29 Atlanta, United States
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My self-summary
I am a dog who has learned how to masquerade as an attractive man. I know the human I am playing. This human has many pounds of bacon in his care. I will get you to go on dates with him so you can find the bacon, take the bacon, and share it with me. I am a very good boy, good on my word. I will trade one of the very large sticks I have found for bacon, nothing else! He will not suspect it, ha ha bark ha.


I am a quiet person who tends to a menagerie of exotic and domestic animals. I maintain a healthy interest in the stellar, strange, and amazing. I accept everyone but settle for nothing less than the best when it comes to me and mine.

I've an atomic-grade wit and a creative spark that's burned many a boring moment down. I am always working on a personal project or creative endeavor for myself or for a friend.

I know what I am good at and I keep my life on track at all times. I am a total asset to those around me. I strive to listen and be someone people go to when help is needed.

Life is great, it's time to share it. I'm looking for people who are taking in the awesome and giving back out the worthwhile. We're here on Earth to either laugh or cry, so we must make our own fun. The best way for me to be is making others happy, I say. Care to join me?
What I’m doing with my life
Currently I am volunteering regularly at the Bernie Sanders HQ in Atlanta. Gotta get people out to vote!

I am an enterprise installation manager at my career job. I put out server fires and give customers the keys to new. shiny, chrome software. All while never getting dressed, because I also work from home.

At my passion job, I work in the birds department at a zoo. I've learned a secret language; I know which bird is talking and what they're saying. I'm friends with the most dangerous bird on Earth, but terrified of parrots. Ask me why?

At home, I hang out with two dogs, five cats, and have a tense relationship with a Snapper Turtle I am raising. Imagine Tuesdays With Morrie, where Morrie is a prehistoric beast that really wants to eat your fingers. It wasn't enough to help raise zoo animals, I enjoy the challenge of responsibly raising life at home, too.

I have achieved one goal of having a friend on nearly every continent. Still trying to break the ice with Antarctica...

I travel every couple years to somewhere new to meet someone different, but we always end up doing the same spectacular things.

I work out every day of the week. Weight lifting on odds, running 90 minutes on evens.

I'm a big brother to my next door neighbor. I like helping him with his third grade homework (finally, math I can do!) and showing him the Sega Genesis games I grew up on.

I've got a lot going on but I'm always willing to set aside a day to meet someone new. Saturdays are ideal! It was the best day when I was a kid, and I've kept that true in these (maybe) wiser times.
I’m really good at
Making others laugh. my spiritual calling: finding overlooked comics and movies, my quest; writing, my forte; influencing minds, my side effect; working on computers. a constant; making personal gifts for people. my highest wish; not getting bogged down with petty things, my talent; not being anyone's fool: the golden rule.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I stopped aging 10 years ago. When we're 90, I'll look 75. I'm banking on that senior citizen center play.

My natural elven ears. I am a leprechaun, but the only gold I aim to keep is you by my side.

My voice. It's like a much sexier ghost took over my vocal cords.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Neuromancer is my favorite book. I read about vampire hobos, killer drive-ins, shamans resurrecting from tumors on the backs of the innocent, Vietnams in space with bug armies, psycho priests with healing lightning, virtual reality contests, vampire parasites invading New York, killer clowns from otherspace, aliens protecting humanity from their own universe-shattering powers, a story about Buddha fighting Jesus across time to unlock the secrets of reality, and vampires wiping out a small New England town (Damn that's a lot of vampire things).

I'm rereading the original Ninja Turtles comics. They're so awesome. Shredder blows himself up and his corpse falls into a dumpster. BRUTAL #1!

School In The Crosshairs
Survive Style 5+
The Last Wave
Tetsuo The Iron Man

I really like movies where people find they're not human, or aren't meant to run with humanity, because I identify with that sentiment very much. Nightbreed, Cat People, these types of movies speak to me.

Utopia: a British conspiracy thriller. AMAZING. Just look.

GameCenter CX - A Japanese show about a man who is locked in a room until he beats a video game.

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace - Awesome parody of Stephen King and all things horror.

Rick and Morty

I've invested 15+ years of time in exploring music, mainly focusing on electronic and experimental genres, which I really love.. It's probably my most personal pursuit next to movies.

I have listed some songs I like below. It's accidentally a very international list. Now you, too, can live vicariously off my labors!

Altan Urag - Blue Mark
Mike Oldfield - In High Places (Ft. Jon Anderson)
Chris Squire - Lucky Seven
Yukihiro Takahashi - Disposable Love
Zuntata - Selflessness (Remix)
Mike and The Mechanics - Silent Running
Nik Kershaw - Wouldn't It Be Good
Time Zone - World Destruction
Susumu Yokota - Song of The Sleeping Forest
Keith Ape - 잊지마 (It G Ma)
Phoenix Foundation - Black Mould
The Associates - Party Fears Two
The Highwaymen - Highwayman
Roky Erickson - Creature With The Atom Brain
Ministry - Stigmata
Cui Jian - Mad Monk
David Bowie - Cat People
The KLF - Go To Sleep
Rubberbandits - Black Man
MACINTOSH PLUS - リサフランク420 / 現代のコンピュー
Yellow Magic Orchestra - Music Plans
Spoons - Blow Away

Classic Loveline
The Ricky Gervais Show

I like dousing steaks in horseradish and burning meats on hot metal.

Ancient Rome by Panini
Et in Arcadia ego by Poussin
Dante's Inferno by Gustav Dore
Pieter Bruegel the Elder - The Tower of Babel (Vienna)
The six things I could never do without
1. Humor, Making you laugh. Making myself laugh.
2. My creative pursuits. If I can't make myself laugh, I can sweat out something creative and worthwhile.
3. One person to tame the world for. You're out there, somewhere.
4. Electronic music. Programmed for excellence.
5. The 80's. Everything I like pretty much came from then. Hell, *I* came from them, so I have no choice.
6. Bustin'!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Does God have a visitation plan set up so we can see our cats in Hell while we're in Heaven?

Do our puppies go to Heaven or are those just simulation puppies that God makes for us so we feel better about the lack of naked ladies in Heaven?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You should message me if
If I've messaged you, you stand out, and I want to hear from you.

Message me if you're through with being bored and want to do something fun, memorable, and fucking worth it. I'm always doing something interesting, and you're invited if you have the desire to finally escape.

If you haven't messaged me by this point of the profile, you probably never will, so this is all I have to say to you.


I have a girlfriend now. This is basically just a shrine to my coolness.