28Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary

"Listen, ah, wife's going out tonight, I'm gonna have the guys over, gonna watch The Fish on the big screen, I'm gonna grill up some brats, I've got a micro-brew chilling in my wet-bar, and, uh, I was gonna warm up some ziti, why don't you come by if you got some triple fried pizza dough, or some kind of frozen meatballs or whatever it is, you can warm it up in my microwave or you can warm it up back at home, bring it over pipin' hot, but if you wanna bring over a vegetable medley, a croute de te, figure out how much lunch meat you can spare, maybe bring over a pound and a half, two pounds of black forrest ham, maybe a dijon mustard spread.

Any kind of dessert, maybe a German chocolate cake or something like that, I tell ya what would make you a big hit with the dudes is get some key lime pie, a la mode, I'm talking about ice cream on the side.

And you have got to have a bite of my home made ziti, I'm gonna warm her up, she's been in the freeze.

You know what I love is those hot mozzarella sticks, cube them up, put them in some marinara sauce, have them on stand by, of course you can't go wrong with some sour cream and onion so long as you bring ridged chips!

So why don't you come by around eight o'clock, alright?"
What I’m doing with my life
Doing stand up and shirking real responsibilities.
I’m really good at
Being modest, so naturally I'm not going to answer this question.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably that I'm very polite and usually keep to myself, or my fat calves.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books: A Confederacy of Dunces, Snow Crash, The Land of Laughs, Candide, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy", The Stranger, Slaughterhouse Five, and The Count of Monte Cristo.

Favorite movies: The Sandlot, Seven Samurai, Real Genius, Casablanca, and Almost Famous

Favorite shows: Community, Louie, New Girl, Archer, The Venture Brothers, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Shameless, and Parks and Recreation, I am so close to just filling this entire profile out with praise about True Detective.

Music: Very nearly everything

Food: Korean
Six things I could never do without
1. Security blankets
2. Watches that don't work
3. Stockings on girls
4. Legos
5.Indoor plumbing
6.Old people that play chess in parks
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My incapability to whistle, it's a problem. That and how many Presidents have masturbated in the Oval Office?
On a typical Friday night I am
Celebrating no sex friday. Usually by putting together a puzzle, the more wizards on the picture the better.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I watched Phantom of the Opera on Netflix last week and didn't hate it. I'd say take my man card, but I lost all of those a long time ago watching Gilmore Girls.
You should message me if
You've called bullshit at any point while reading through this profile.
The two of us