CantusFirmus
46 Renton, United States
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CantusFirmus
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My self-summary
I think an update is in order.
My wife kaelisinger and I have been poly from the beginning but we are now moving into non-hierarchical space. What this means from a dating perspective is that I am no longer limited to casual or FWB relationships but am free to pursue something intense and meaningful if that's what evolves.

I'm not on here very often but if you message me I will respond. And if I've "liked" you, you can figure I'm down for meeting in person. If I haven't, I might just have not seen your profile yet.

I'm a balance of physical, intellectual, artist and sensualist. I am pagnostic with taoist leanings, and more philosophical than religious. I'm proud of my hippy upbringing and my values reflect that but my personal style does not. I believe kindness is the basis of all valid ethical behavior -- other positive traits, such as honesty and integrity, are just a good idea.

I have good social chops for someone who falls a little bit on the introvert side of the scale. I'm pretty confident most of the time, and love to perform. I just have limited endurance for these things.

Labels are sometimes useful
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Poly: I've been in a committed open marriage since 1995. My wife and I both date other people individually, but not as a couple.
This blog post explains my feelings about love, sex, and dating better than I ever have. http://brighterthanabuoy.blogspot.com/2014/01/casual-love.html
nspp

Sex positive: As far as I'm concerned, sexual expression is as natural and appropriate as any other kind. I've had a lot of partners and always been open about my intentions.

Kink: I sometimes go dom for the right person. Otherwise meh.

Yes, I'm just another CIS/Het male. I know, terribly boring.

Dating preferences
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Sometimes I like a quiet night in, other times it's nice to get out into the world. Blues dancing or salsa, or doing something else with an athletic component like canoeing on Lake Washington tends to work well.
Meeting for tea or cocktails is fine for starting out.
And if you have other ideas for date activities, awesome.

Practical considerations
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Availability: I'm open to anything from a one-time hook-up to weekly dates to evolving into a full time co-primary relationship.
Most of my relationships fall into a "friends with benefits" vibe, but an "antagonist with benefits" could be interesting.

Space: My house in Renton is too full to bring dates home unless it's during the day while the kids are at school, but I can entertain at my apartment in Bellevue. I like to call it "The Kasbah". (Cue cheesy Moroccan-inspired disco music here.)

Kids: I have twin girls in high school. Not making any more.

I'm better one on one than in groups unless I'm performing/teaching/presenting.

Other
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I'm a physical guy regardless of my intentions, and I have a highly developed sense of touch. (Musician hands.)

I'm not a fan of cigarette smoke, so drink something before you kiss me. And If you're tipsy, give me a chance to catch up.

You can hear samples of my music on http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/WanderingHands
What I’m doing with my life
Living the American Dream (TM) with a wife and kids and a house in the suburbs. Developing software or looking for my next contract. Making music at home with my kids. Being as fit and healthy as I possibly can (with the help of my trainers at http://strengthforlifeinc.com/index.html). Swordfighting in the SCA. Reducing the time commitments in my life so I can have more time to just *relax*, and trying to fit a modest dating life in with everything else I have going on. Periodically singing in occult-themed rock operas and other oddball venues. Attending NSPP functions.
I’m really good at
Playing lots of instruments, singing, dancing, swordfighting, quieting fussy babies, massage or anything involving touch, kissing/making-out, exerting my will over various building materials, parenting.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm not sure right now. Probably that I look ten years younger than I am. Let me know if you notice something different.
Sometimes people think I have an accent, but it's just that I use actual consonants when I speak. It's a singer/actor thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I used to read a lot. These days, I just don't have much time for it. When I do, I mostly read classics or technical stuff, but I also try to find really good modern works, such as American Gods, and the Golden Compass series.

Movies: I'm not a big movie buff. If I do see a movie, I want it to be smart, beautiful, or both. Or maybe funny, but not in an obnoxious low-brow way. Les Miserables was the last thing I saw that met the bar.

Music: I play and sing world music, Celtic, Sephardic, Spanish, medieval and renaissance music and a little bit of swing, rockabilly, rock, and Hawaiian, some classical. Sometimes I write my own material, or more often I write new arrangements of existing pieces. I listen to lute music, classical guitar or Hawaiian slack-key for calm, baroque cello or renaissance choral polyphony for sorrow or melancholy, 90's swing, ska, or rockabilly to get my groove on or clean the house, independent folk or world music for mental stimulation, coffeehouse rock in the car.
Oddly, I'm not that into going to concerts -- too much of my brain gets wrapped up in analyzing the music to just flow with it.

Food and drink: I am gluten free, dairy free, and a foodie. I appreciate every ethnicity of food if I can eat it.
For drinks I appreciate good wines and classic cocktails, and dabble in mixology.
The six things I could never do without
Really, nothing except the standard biological stuff. That and authenticity.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Your lips on mine
On a typical Friday night I am
Hopefully on a date. Maybe with you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can't think of anything particularly private to admit to
You should message me if
Because i can't do a lot of late nights, I would prefer you be within a half hour or so of Renton (if you can host) or willing to drive to Bellevue (I have a spare apartment there) to visit me.

Physically speaking, I will probably notice your face and the general type of energy you project at least as much as your body. That said, being physically fit or proportioned like a fit person is a plus, though not a hard requirement.

I'm pretty open on age, but the older you are, the higher the bar, having mainly to do with potential vs. actualization. If you're significantly younger than me, great. I'll appreciate you at the life stage you're at. If you're older, give me a reason to look up to you.
**If you are under 30, I won't message you unless you message me or like me first. I don't want to be the creepy old guy.**

I like to get to know people with different interests. Extra points if you have something you can geek out about, but still "pass" in mainstream society without too much effort.

Also, extra points for being different than me in an interesting way, whether by ethnicity/language/nationality, achievements, or life experiences.
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