25Austin, United States
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My self-summary
I like silly hats and figuring out how things work. My username comes from this thing I used to do in my wayward angsty teen years where I would try to break CAPTCHAs using bash one-liners. If that's the sexiest thing you've ever heard, then what the hell is wrong with you and also send me a message.
What I’m doing with my life
I am constantly learning. For work, I've recently started working as a DevOps engineer for a downtown startup. I spend my weekends hanging out with friends and participating in the local hackerspace. I also like doing very silly things in video games (Steam tells me I've spent 292 hours of my life playing GTA V) and going out for some hookah.

Once in a while I'll hit up some bars on 6th or near campus with whoever will go. Any place with either decent gin or fun gimmicks is fine with me.
I’m really good at
I've been told that I pick up new concepts pretty quickly. I suppose I use that to my advantage wherever I can.
The first things people usually notice about me
I smirk a lot. Smirking is how I smile.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

I recently picked up a cocktail recipe book that describes how to absorb a martini into a cucumber. It's like a posh vodka gummy bear. I've been dying to try it.

...I'm not really big into books, actually. I just like gin.


I like Django, Kill Bill (1 and 2), American Psycho, and the original Matrix. I mean the only Matrix. Trilogy? No, it was just that one, don't be silly.


My boss and I have this thing there one of us will make a vague Arrested Development reference (like one of the less memorable quotes) and the other one will chuckle heartily, and nobody else in the office understands the reference.

Also, House, Archer, Mad Men, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and Frasier.


I think my favorite sound is the Sleigh Bells, even though I don't listen to them too often. It's the only sort of "noise" music that I can actually stomach, and it's just beautiful to me.

I guess my taste is fairly eclectic other than that. I simply adore anything with British female vocals, like La Roux or CHVRCHES.


I'm pretty open to most things, though I'm generally not a fan of beef, unless it's prepared in a particularly unique fashion. I've had a steak at Hoffbrau on 6th street that was cooked in this butter sauce that gave me a near-fatal heart attack orgasm.


I've been playing a shitload of Just Cause 3 lately, because explosions. I also love GTA V, the Half Life series, Tropico 4 and 5, and of course the Portal series. These days I just about exclusively game on PC, and the fact that Red Dead Redemption never came out for PC means that my life will never be complete.
Six things I could never do without
1. Gin
2. Tonic water
3. Limes

I guess the rest are luxuries.

4. My Mini Cooper! Her name is Juniper.
5. Video games. The perfect end to a stressful day, or a nice way to waste some time in general.
6. Gin
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Work, video games, dinner plans, previous conversations I've had with friends that cause me to burst out in laughter at inopportune times in public.
On a typical Friday night I am
At the hackerspace, or at lazing at home with Grand Theft Auto V and a lovely G&T.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a huge procrastinator. I didn't bother with getting a license or a car until last year and I have a lot of projects that I've just set aside indefinitely.
You should message me if
You aren't in dire need of emergency services, as my response times may vary (as may the legitimacy of my medical degrees).
The two of us