I am a regularly confused person with mixed feelings on where he is going in life and a sense of discontent with himself that he has not yet reconciled with reality. Also, I write overly pretentious self-summaries on dating websites. If I could make a living off words that don't make sense, by god, I would be rich.
The more time I spend on this website, the more I become convinced that I may well be its most boring man. I see profiles with stuff like, "I am always being creative, I volunteer at a hospital for mentally disabled animals with drug addictions before spending my evenings at an orphanage for disenfranchised White Martians, and then I get three hours of sleep while simultaneously practicing photography and cliff-diving needlepoint." And I think, "well, I came home from work, ran around with my dog and played some Morrowind, so...points for me."
So, everything above this line was written two years ago. Now, 8/2/2013, I am finally adding this sentence: I am dealing with this complex by trying to do more shit. That's right: Only took me two years to figure that one out. I'm a quick one.
Also, video games and figuring out how to write about their cultural impact. This is proving a lot more complicated than I thought.
I'm a lot better at The Binding of Isaac than I want to be, but not good enough to get 1001%. Yet.
Purchasing and consuming an entire bag of potato chips in a single night and regretting it for weeks.
-Gateway by Frederik Pohl, a wonderful, underrated book that I read far, far, far too early in my life for its subject matter and I am thankful for that on a daily basis
-House of Leaves by Mark Danielewski, though admittedly less from an emotional perspective and more from a technical appreciation for meta-writing
-Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand (okay it's a play and not a traditional book but it's my list so fuck you), which basically got me through my adolescence
-James Robinson's run on Starman, one of the few comics that makes me weepy
-more things I'll think of later when it's not three in the morning (I WROTE THIS LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF AGO AND HAVEN'T FIXED IT YET I AM SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON)
Movie: As Good As It Gets, The Royal Tenenbaums, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Music: Some of everything, really, but I almost always prefer passion to technique. Gimme Percy Sledge, Joe Cocker, David Byrne and Jackie Shane any day. (I told my music account to pull 7 artists at random; it returned J. Cole, Paul Simon, Tally Hall, Janelle Monae, Meat Loaf, Kansas and Jimmy Eat World. conclude what you will.)
Oh, but I'm pretty sure I don't like Sam Cooke.
-My capacity for using my body. I'm a lifelong gamer, nerd and office worker, so this feels like something of a weird oxymoron, but it's true. I love kickboxing, I love jiu-jitsu, I love (and hate) working out. I'd like to learn how to dance, but my German-Swedish-American background leaves me inherently incapable of rhythm.
-Singing, which is funny, because aside from maybe two or three people I never do it in front of human beings. The emotional egress is too good, but I am a tad too embarrassed by it.
-My computer. I'm pretty sure without the grace of a PC I would devolve further and further and be one day found naked in my backyard, banging on a rock with another, smaller rock.
-My complete inability to do math or count.
Also, when I'm going to stop being a commitmentphobe and get my Morrowind and Green Lantern tattoos.
Also (2) why Natalie Imbruglia wasn't a huge deal.
It used to be that I hit the Like button on tons of people because I couldn't actually figure out how to say hello to them without it being either boring or creepy, and it was the passive, neurotic way of saying "hey, you're neat." (Because, obviously, people give a shit about if I Like them on the internet.) Lately this has gotten even weirder because I find I tap that button on people who seem awesome but whom I know I will not at all reach out to--people who don't want to talk to yet another cis-guy on the internet, etc.--because it seems exceedingly impolite to me to not do it if I think they're awesome. I have put so many unnecessary layers of thought on this fucking dating website Like button, my friends. So many.
Also (2), I'm bothered by the realization that I will never be as pretty as "Stand and Deliver"-era Adam Ant.
Also (3), I'm -still- bothered by Ally Sheedy's nice-girl makeover at the end of The Breakfast Club.
Thus, you should message me if you have thoughts on:
-If you'd rather be a werewolf or a mummy
-If "The Stroke" or "Lonely Is the Night" was Billy Squier's finest hour
-If Mario could take Vladimir Putin in a fight
-If there's any hope that the internet will stop being a terrible place for women
-If you occasionally have no idea why you're here.
-If you need someone to give you wildly, horrifyingly inaccurate explanations of the various plots of Game of Thrones.
(also: if you know who Kazushi Sakuraba is, drop me a line. MMA geeks need to stick together.)