24 Fort Worth, United States
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My self-summary
Flowers are like having everlasting sunshine in your house.

I go on photobooth when I'm bored and take selfies that I never show anyone. I hold myself to my own standards, and if I don't meet yours, I'm okay with that.

I spent a full semester in high school doing my best imitation of a british accent and they. all. believed me. Even though I definitely fucked up a few times.

I am bad at feelings.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying not to be too much of an idiot.

I'm also trying to figure out how many jobs I can juggle at once. At one point, I was up to four, but now I technically have three, but in actuality I have two.

I also have an Akita-GSD. Her name is Athena because she's an imperious bitch. No idea where she learned that from.
I’m really good at
The internet. Semantics and equivocation. Being a bitch. But hey, bitches get shit done.

The first things people usually notice about me
I'm about 5'10" in my favorite heels. I talk a lot. Also, I hate unsolicited advice, and I will do my utter best to fuck your shit up if you try.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
-Currently working on Jules Watson.
-I am of the opinion that Terry Brooks is a hack.
-I'm usually down for a good biography, and I'm SLOWLY working my way through the classics. Ivanhoe is tough shit, not gonna lie.
-If you condescend to me regarding reading materials, I will I cut you. And no, I will not meet you after that.

I like action movies a lot, and don't generally like romantic comedies (although "For A Good Time Call..." is pretty dope), and I'm hooked on Vikings, which is awesome, if only because Lagertha is my idol. My favorite all time movie is Boondock Saints because gratuitous violence, unique cinematography, and "Fuck! Ass!"

Music... I was raised on classic rock, so I'm always down for some of that, but I listen to most anything that isn't slow and sappy. My current favs list on Spotify includes Halsey, Fall Out Boy, Arctic Monkeys, and Beyonce.

I like cooking, but if I'm on my own I'll usually just cook some meat or eat some rabbit food. Sometimes both. Sushi is the beautiful ray of sunshine that makes life worth living.

I can't cook desserts at all and that fact saddens me greatly. So I make desserts that I don't have to cook. Read: I eat raw cookie dough. Because only pansies get salmonella.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why do you have my answer marked unacceptable if it's the same as yours? Is it double standards or do you just not understand how the whole questions section works?

And what qualifies as a BIG tattoo?!?! Inches, how much of the body part in question is taken up by the tattoo in question?
On a typical Friday night I am
a bimbo of the highest order. Legit Grandmaster status over here, bow down, plebeians.

Eh, if I'm not working it's a tossup as to whether I'm being lazy and playing video games or getting into trouble on the town.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The best pun I've gotten on this site is that my sass is most sasstisfactory. Still makes me smile.
You should message me if
You pick up books for fun. Reading required, though picture books are acceptable if you are 5 years or younger. The bigger the book, the better, as heavier books are better for hitting people with.

Full offense, but if you’re a man and a woman tells you she’s bisexual and your response is “wanna have a threesome,” you’re a piece of shit and I hope your dick rots and falls off.