34Grass Valley, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I wash myself in the shower with Comet and steel wool. I scrape the stubble off my face with a Ka-Bar and use gasoline for aftershave. Then I comb my hair with a live wolverine. I put crystal meth in my coffee.

When I go to work, I chase down cars on foot, drag the drivers out, kill them, and then take their cars to work. When I take a smoke break, I burn styrofoam and inhale the fumes. When I go hunting, I just stare at the deer. They follow me home and climb into my freezer. Because they know. They know.

Perhaps you would like to know a bit more about me? Who wouldn't, as I am as enticing as a Autumn Dawn, and as surprising as a flatulent mouse with a pink bow delivered to your office.

My looks. I have been described by some as a Human Adonis but perchance you would like some more descriptive details?

My police report description reads as follows:

Known Aliases:
Mr. Belvedere
Agent Buchwald
The sexiest man alive

I'm known to be “Dangerously” Sexy, and a Class Five risk of seducing all arresting officers regardless of gender or species.
What I’m doing with my life
I am currently working a full time job that requires a rather absurd amount of my attention. I do travel with this occupation from time to time.
I’m really good at
Being totally awesome.
The first things people usually notice about me
My incredibly sexy forehead
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My right earlobe is secretly racist. I know, what a jerk.
You should message me if
You want a brand new pony, cause I totally own a pony farm. I Promise.
The two of us