27 College Station, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I've been in College Station for a few years now. I'm looking for someone steal a kidney from. Or open a joint checking account with. Let's just see how the first date goes, shall we?

(HMU about the kidney thing though)
What I’m doing with my life
I have a job as a copy editor. So I do that from time to time. For money.

It's not just all about the "dollar dollar bills" for me, though. I've gained invaluable "life experience" in slowly growing desensitized to the horrors of the real world, as well as increasingly adept at hurling a crippling insult at someone who a) I've probably never met or b) probably doesn't deserve it. (Unless Diane is reading this, in which keep your grubby little hooves off my red pens, you walking dumpster fire.)

Looking for D.B. Cooper.

I spend the rest of my spare time whipping "the guns" out 💪🏻💪🏻 (I hate myself for saying that), on my couch taking in varying media (Hulu, HBOGO, Netflix, etc.) or catching some Zzz'z (when I can). Occasionally, I eat.
I’m really good at
Making inappropriate comments in somber, emotional moments.

As part of my job, I read. A lot. So I often have considerably more information on things happening all over the world than the average dickhead. Ask me anything about current events. Or about the former president of Turkmenistan. Seriously, you could ask me quite literally anything about either of those topics and my response would be the same: "Pass."
The first things people usually notice about me
I smile a lot, but I also sometimes have Resting Bitch Face.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Vonnegut's Slaughter-house Five, Hunger Games trilogy, Harry Potter series, Girl With The Dragon Tattoo/Millenium Trilogy, Agatha Christie stuff

Movies: I'm a die hard Scharzenegger fan (It's my guilty pleasure), Avengers and all the movies leading to it, Batman Begins, Dark Knight, actually most comic book movies, Jurassic Park, Alien, Star Wars, way too many to list... I have a rather large collection of DVDs and Blu-ray movies.

TV: Smallville, Supernatural, Arrow, Doctor Who, Misfits, House, Family Guy, How I Met Your Mother, True Blood, Walking Dead, Dexter, Modern Family, Happy Endings, again too many to list

Music: Tons.

Food: Mexican, Italian, "American"
The six things I could never do without
Movies, Music, Literature, Phone, MacBook, Internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
When I die, I want my tombstone to read:

"Chancellor Mills"
"Born: March 16, 1989"
"Died: In Your Arms Tonight*"

"*It must have been something you said."
On a typical Friday night I am
Spending the last 10 minutes of work getting only three-fourths of the way through a plan to fake my own death
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Don't look, but you're standing right behind me right now. It's okay. You're not "creepy." You're just "attentive."

Also, I'm ENFJ.
You should message me if
• You've actually slogged through all of this indecipherable nonsense
• You think I'm funny
• You think I'm cute
• You think YOU'RE cute
• You have any "fun facts" about the former president of Turkmenistan
• You know what happened to D.B. Cooper (fucking TELL ME!!)
• You feel uneasy about a list with an odd number of items on it, yet still have the fortitude to power through