Now that we've dispensed with the pleasantries, let's start with the bad stuff. – I am not unique in the least bit. I procrastinate big time when there's shit to be done, and am impulsive and reckless when there's nothing to do. I hate houseflies but will go out of my way to save an earthworm. I cried when Mufasa (Lion King) died, and sobbed like a little girl when "The Notebook" ended. I swear endlessly and am a self-confessed night owl. There's a certain magic about the night. It either keeps me working or hanging out aimlessly. Can you relate to that? I have zero patience for flakes and fakers. You know what I'm talking about...
I’m not some typical Prince Charming type of dude that you wanna bring home to your mother. I won’t hold the door for you unless you deserve it. You’re a big girl. You can take care of yourself. I’d most likely try to annoy you for shits and giggles.
I expect to be served, cooked for, and cleaned up after. I don’t do laundry, and insist that you do it. Correction - Not just insist, but you must LOVE to do laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to cool, sparkling water after being trapped in a desert for days. Look forward to it like… I think you get the picture.
I don’t do the whole flowers and romance bullshit. I expect action on the first date, big time action. I don’t do sleepovers unless it’s at your place. Why? Because I don’t want you to know where I live.
OK ladies, waiting for your emails now… GO. If I do not reply and you get annoyed with me, well, let’s just say, “It’s not me, it’s you.” It wasn’t gonna work out anyway…
What else? Wow... surprisingly hard one to answer...
2) Time travel and the space-time continuum paradox.
3) Accents. I am particularly fond of the English, British accent. If you have a natural British accent and am willing to teach me to emulate it, just brilliant!
~ You can take a joke and are not easily offended.
~ You believe that wit and sarcasm is the spice of life.
~ You appreciate grammar, can spell, and are generally happy.
~ You look forward to doing laundry.
~ You are rich and in the process of finding someone to serve at their beck and call.
Everything else is negotiable.