24 Warren, United States
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My self-summary
I've got issues, but as Tom Leykis would always say, "the crazy ones are better in bed."
What I’m doing with my life
Everything, all at once—and yet, nothing at all.

I can't say it's working out entirely well.
I’m really good at
Pissing people off and getting myself into trouble. Like, seriously—I don't even have to try. It's pretty remarkable.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Are you British?"

"That's a boy's name?"

"But seriously, you're from the UK, right?"
The six things I could never do without
Proper food and drink

A decent wardrobe and haircut


The real football, and the culture that comes with it


Freedom, or some shit like that
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why can't society just fucking work? We need Larry David as our dictator.

Why do guys see me as attractive but girls don't see me at all?
On a typical Friday night I am
Having a bantastic night out on the lash.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I like pegging. I also like One Direction. I'm not sure which has more stigma surrounding it.
You should message me if
You like to pose as an aristocrat, just to fuck with people.

You enjoy getting naked—not even necessarily for sexual purposes, but just because you're, like, bored, or whatever.

You're in the mood for a random adventure.

Your loyalty is to Her Majesty The Queen, true ruler of these insolent colonies.

You're into half-fags—particularly if you're a half-dyke.