33North Hollywood, United States
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My self-summary
I find the concept of a self-summary simultaneously daunting and reductionist, so instead, enjoy this selection of random trivia about me:

My name is Chris. That is likely the least interesting thing about me you'll read here.

Sometimes I do what I want to do. The rest of the time, I do what I have to.

The above is stolen from Gladiator, and I'm not even remotely ashamed of that fact.

I choose beer based on a decade of trial determining my personal taste. I choose liquor based on how cool the bottle looks.

I have a theory on just about everything that I witness. These theories are completely wrong about half the time.

I consider the song “Never Been to Spain” by Three Dog Night to be my theme song, since everything it says is true about me. Except that I’ve never been to Needles.

I despise nihilists, idealists, existentialists, sensualists, nominalists and transcendentalists with equal fervor.

I might have made up some of those words.

I identify myself as a relativist, which is great because it allows me end most arguments with, "We're both right." Of course, then I have to follow that up with, "and we're both wrong. and right and wrong don't exist."

I have almost drowned twice. Once by accident and once at the hands of my grandparents (also an accident... supposedly...).

I’ve never met a Mom who didn’t love me, and it is for one specific reason. I’ll eat anything, and I’ll visibly enjoy it.

I can never tell the difference between someone retelling me something they've told me before because they think I've forgotten it since the last time they told me and because they've forgotten they ever told me in the first place.

I am probably the most even keeled person you will ever meet. Absolutely nothing makes me angry and I can count on one hand the number of times I have been truly sad.

I never respond to "Thank You" with "You're Welcome" because I can't say it without sounding like a sarcastic asshole. I generally use "No Problem" instead.

I rate everything, if only in my head. Everything I see, from books to shows to movies to games to arguments to points people are trying to make. I immediately mentally assign them a list of positives and negatives and assign them a letter score.

Consequently, I really enjoy seeing all movies, even really terrible ones. Bad movies are sometimes more entertaining because I can analyze what I think they did wrong and what I would have done differently.

Also consequently, I'm always looking for new music, since every time I give a star rating to all the songs on my ipod I feel the overwhelming urge to get more songs to rate.

I'm relatively good at fixing things, but I have a bad habit of making people call me "Mr.Wizard" when I do.
What I’m doing with my life
Working for the man, writing when I can. That wasn't necessarily supposed to rhyme, but I'll go with it. I work in film, international post production specifically (If you've ever watched Jurassic Park while in Germany or Latin America, I'm the dude who put that together for you), but writing is my aspiration.

I'm watching a lot of movies and writing a lot about those movies, as sort of a hobby, sort of a writing exercise. Here's what that looks like:
I’m really good at
Watching movies (no seriously, I can go five straight and then have a detailed conversation about each afterward).

Civil discourse. I love to debate anything with anyone, based singularly on my love of the spread of ideas. (Did that read as pretentious as it felt writing it?)

Writing? That's up for debate, and a work in progress.
The first things people usually notice about me
It used to be my mustache, but that's gone now, and with it a small piece of my self-identity. So I dunno. I've been told that I immediately strike people as immensely laid back, so let's roll with that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have every intention of answering this at some point, but I have a bad feeling it will end with me having wasted three hours and written something well exceeding the character limit, so for now let's just say a lot of movies, a lot of music, a lot of books, and most food.
Six things I could never do without
My Faith
My family
My friends
My imagination
My steady diet of ideas
Sleep. I really like sleep.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Which National Park I'm taking a road trip to next.
On a typical Friday night I am
My Friday nights are hectic. You never know what's going to happen, might be an impromptu trip to Vegas, might just be a bit of illegal drag racing. You know, normal stuff.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
That everything I said about my Friday nights was a lie.

...Oh, and INTJ, if you're into that kind of thing.
You should message me if
You got any of the humor in my profile, and found it endearing instead of obnoxious.

You capitalized the first letter of your sentences. (Damn, I just excluded a lot of ladies on this site...)

You're old-fashioned enough to think that the guy should message you. (Ok, that one was just because I really enjoy creating paradoxes.)
The two of us