31 Atlanta, United States
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My self-summary
Taking 5 minutes out of my day to describe myself to you takes all the fun out of those 5 minutes.
What I’m doing with my life
Some people say I'm crazy, that I'm dreaming my life away. They give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me. When I told them I was doin fine with those shadows on the wall. Don't you miss the big time? You're no longer on the ball.

But I'm just sittin' here watching the wheels go round'n'round.

I really love to watch them roll...
I’m really good at
Making you feel dreadfully, uncomfortably happy.
The first things people usually notice about me
That choir of angels they hear in the background. It's the damndest thing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

Johnathan Franzen,
Johnathan Foer,
Frederick Nietzsche
Bertrand Russell
Nan Mccarthy
Amy Tan
Kurt Vonnegut

Philosophers, artists and kids like us who are addicted to smiling. Everyone else fuck off.

Food is good - I can cook. Can you?
The six things I could never do without
One for the Money
Two for the Honey
Three for the Bees
Four for the Whores
Five cannot survive
Without Six and her tricks...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
= I've always been afraid of clowns. When I was little my class
took me to the circus and a clown raped my school teacher. Rape's not funny - even if it's performed by a midget clown with a heart of gold.

= Sugary mixed drinks make my stomach hurt...

= I don't conceivably understand why anyone would vote for Mitt
Romney... Satan never looked so phony.

= I was so happy when Six Pence None The Richer broke up, nothing
sadder than diet christian techno making more money than you.

= My dog is so cute but so fat. She needs to work out.

= When I was young I had no shoes and cried; until I met a man with
no feet and then I laughed really hard.
On a typical Friday night I am
This answer implies that my life is typical. It is most certainly not.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I used to work at a Kids Costume shop dressed up as Darth Vader.
You should message me if
Please DO message me if:
1. You owe me money.
2. You believe in making friends.
3. This website is mostly a joke


1. If you're a serial dater; if you dated more than 10 people off of here within 60 days - fuck you.

2. You consider yourself passive aggressive.

3. If you take medicine to quiet the voices inside your head.