No, I won't grow a beard for you. They itch. Sorry.
Otherwise, I have a wide variety of interests that are split relatively neatly between technology, gaming, civil/labor rights, church-state separation, and their related ongoing political discussions. Church-state separation is my "pet" issue as it were, and I help build a small community of activists for this cause and coordinate our movements around the greater Seattle area. I also do video games and a bunch of online classes. Data science is fascinating from what little I know of it at this point.
Getting down to business and defeating the Huns. Why do you suppose you've never seen any in this area? Exactly.
Also I'm decent at photography, I guess.
3) Love of pasta and food in general. It fills the empty spot where a sense of shame should hypothetically be.
4) Terrible music/literature/game references
5) I fidget a lot.
Some people tell me that I intimidate them. I don't really understand how, but I don't do it on purpose, I promise. I'm a teddy bear. Or possibly a slightly hairier version of Marvin the Paranoid Android.
I read a lot of political history and social issue books these days. I'm very much pro-labor and anti-(oppressive structure of your choice), so right now I'm working through A People's History of the US and various essays by classic anarchist philosophers (Emma Goldman, Mikhail Bakunin, etc).
But obviously, just sticking to politics and the real world would be incredibly boring, so some of my favorite fiction titles and authors:
Most of the Forgotten Realms series by RA Salvatore
Ready Player One
A Clockwork Orange
The Harry Potter series
A Canticle For Leibowitz
World War Z (no really, my last tattoo is a quote from this)
Random stuff by HP Lovecraft
I have a bad habit of buying large numbers of books at Value Village because of their damn "Buy 4, get the 5th free!" deal. So I collect classics, tech manuals, whatever - but I've been trying to refresh and expand my fantasy and scifi tastes more recently. Name me an author! (I love homages to Lovecraft and classic mythology)
Stuff I listen to:
My taste in music defaults to, "What, at this moment, will do the best job of keeping me awake at work until the caffeine kicks in from the shitty office coffee?" I play hopskotch across all genres and I can't vouch for the quality of my taste at all. I'm just as likely to listen to Tchaikovsky as Ke$ha.
I default to classic rock/hair metal because Joan Jett is the sexiest woman alive and probably will be even if she lives to be a hundred. Also electronica/trance.
Other bands/performers important to my well-being:
Garfunkel and Oates
Five Iron Frenzy
I also listen to a lot of standup these days, thanks to Pandora. John Mulaney is quickly becoming my next idol after Elizabeth Warren. Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Lewis Black, Robin Williams, Louis CK, on and on. Also, I adore the hell out of Iliza Shlesinger and Rebecca Corry.
Stuff I Watch:
Lot of sci-fi/fantasy stuff, mostly, and TED talks.
Rick and Morty
The Walking Dead
Young and Hungry
It's Always Sunny
I watch The Daily Show, Last Week Tonight, and old episodes of The Colbert Report religiously. I also have a tradition of watching Colbert's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech on a semi-regular basis, because the shit-eating grin on W's face will never get old.
I'm generally addicted to older Disney movies, because the soundtrack for The Hunchback of Notre Dame is absolutely amazing and never gets old. But I like pretty much any kind of movie if it's done well (but I have a soft spot for zombie movies regardless of quality). Most of my movies are sci-fi, action-drama, and Pixar. Lord of the Rings marathon, anyone? Or a marathon of the MCU movies, because Iron Man is my spirit animal.
Stuff I eat:
I eat basically everything that either isn't miso soup or doesn't have olives or mushrooms in it. Preferably pasta. You could bribe me with lasagna or Nutella, and possibly even with Nutella-covered lasagna. I love the royal hell out of BBQ anything, though. Also I really like curry. And most other ethnic foods, come to think of it. Variety is the spice of life.
Also, I love eggs but I don't know how to make them in any other form except "scrambled." Please teach me.
Does it sound narcissistic to say "concern for my legacy"? How about if I said I want my legacy to include making the world better for as many people as possible, or at least markedly worse for the people responsible for keeping the world as shitty as it is? Because it's totally the latter. Seriously, I dare one of the Koch brothers to show up here within Molotov-throwing range of me.
A plan. I love it when plans come together.
My sense of humor. It's not always the best, but being a member of the American middle class, I don't think I'd survive for very long without it.
And I would be lying if I said I wouldn't severely miss a computer with internet connection.
There's a meme floating around that asks something along the lines of, "If you were a demon, what 3 items would I need to summon you?" I think my reagents would be a tray of lasagna, a handful of batteries, and a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Glowsticks instead of candles.
But thinking about all the ways the world sucks is also exhausting and I've been trying to ease off of it a bit recently for the sake of my own emotional health. So the other subjects I think about in no particular order include: DIY projects, learning to cook actual food, sex, cuddling, music, Burning Man, why my handwriting is so terrible and my selfies seem even worse, various zombie apocalypse scenarios and survival plans, and the viability of wind-powered cars.