I'm smart, creative, funny, and genuine. I crave new experiences, and I love to meet new people. I like to cook, dance, read, watch movies, and be outdoors. I have a very vivid imagination, and I like to put it to good use. I know about a lot of random things like architecture, linguistic anthropology, tax law, automotive engineering, and legumes. This is because I'm a huge nerd. I have a difficult relationship with carrots, but we're working through it. I'm really into semi-colons and ellipses right now. My mother is an English teacher; while I am probably qualified to be a card-carrying member of the Grammar Gestapo, I won't gouge out your eyes if you make a mistake. There are more important things in life to get all worked up over.
I wanna be Sir Ranulph Fiennes when I grow up. Or Jeremy Clarkson. Or Anthony Bourdain. Or Mark Twain. Maybe Sir Richard Branson. My walls are filled with real art, not prints or reproductions from Wal-Mart. My favorite word used to be 'enigma' but now it's 'resplendent.' This is because I think I've reached the point in my life where I'd rather be splendid than enigmatic.
I am generally the kind of person who considers things carefully and at length before making important decisions. Sometimes, however, I go and make huge and life-changing decisions that seem completely irrational but which I believe will lead me to true happiness (for example, see line one of this entry). I feel like this is because I am mysterious and passionate, with the soul of a romantic. It might just mean that I'm effin' nuts. Jury's still out on that one.
I am Eclectic, Splendid, and Dynamic
More long-term, I'm plotting to take over the world (or at least my own small Caribbean island nation). To further that end, I just bought a book on "How to Build a Robot Army," so, you know, I'm just studyin' up and kinda waiting for that one to flesh itself out.
I'm really good at spending a lot of time practicing my bass, but I'm not all that good at playing it - yet.
Making liqueurs. My black fig, cherry, and lemon liqueur will knock your socks off.
Flying kites while intoxicated - I'm good at that.
Dancing very badly and very enthusiastically.
Oh, and I rock at tic-tac-toe.
(B) Hot Fuzz; Groundhog Day; the Bourne trilogy; The Adventures of Baron Munchausen; Joe Versus the Volcano; Gandhi; The Matador. Just saw The Brothers Bloom for the first time, and if you haven't seen it, quit wasting your time doing whatever else it is that you're doing and go find a copy.
(C) Archer, The Daily Show, Being Human, Doctor Who, Top Gear, Ugly Americans, No Reservations, and that one about the guy who hangs out with that other guy who was in this really cheesy movie and they blow stuff up. Can't remember what it's called off the top of my head, but it's fun.
(D) Youngblood Brass Band; Hybrid; Way Out West; Bad Religion; NOFX; Kenna; Mos Def; Cracker; Chemical Brothers; Tchaikovsky; Institute; anything good- I like a lot.
(F) Thai; Chinese; Japanese; Italian; Mexican; Vietnamese; Indian.... I like almost anything as long as it is prepared well. I live very close to Eden Center now, so I've been trying something new from there pretty frequently. Also, being a butcher, I eat a good bit of meat, but I love a good salad. The list of things that I won't try is very short, and consists mostly of things that are only eaten on a dare anyway. Oh, and no McDonald's. I'd rather gnaw my own arm off.
If you constantly have to "Think Outside the Box," either your box is too small, or entirely the wrong shape to begin with.
How I can maneuver my life to the point where I can talk about things like "using di-positronium to create a gamma-ray annihilation laser with which to kick-start a fusion reactor." There really are people doing that now, and while I'm not saying I wanna be one of them, I do want to be part of that conversation because those words are really cool.
Also, I think about the thought process of the first guy who saw an oyster and thought 'I'm gonna eat that.' It was definitely a man, not a woman, and he was almost certainly drunk. The words "hey, watch this," or "I dare you" were probably involved.
What I can do to cause Halloween to be celebrated quarterly, as clearly it should.
I'm the only guy in Arlington who isn't a lawyer, personal trainer, or "IT guy." Don't tell anyone, or they might kick me out.
Usually, the first thing I do when I wake up on weekdays is check the updates on my favorite web-comics. These are Questionable Content, XKCD, Girls With Slingshots, and Wapsi Square. The first two usually with real excitement, and the later two mostly out of habit these days. That's fairly private, I think.
- You are at least two of these three: smarter than Paris Hilton; better looking than Albert Einstein; able to juggle chainsaws while riding a unicycle. Any two will work.
- If you'd like to apply for the challenging and rewarding Partner in Crime opening. We can get you started as a Junior Associate in Crime, and with the right moves advancement is rapid and unlimited!
- If you'd like to become a sponsor of my bid to create my own small island nation, or just think you'd have fun helping decorate the hollowed-out volcano.
...and you want to:
-grab a drink
-go shoot paintballs at tourists on the Mall
-have a picnic
-take a pleasant evening stroll
-rob the Hirschhorn
-dress up in crazy costumes and go to a bar
-make up a scavenger hunt
-drink a bottle of wine by the river
-find some dive-y ethnic restaurant where absolutely nobody speaks English and try to order dinner
-challenge random strangers to a spelling bee
-taunt hipsters on the metro
-check out the Westover beer garden
-throw water balloons at people who are taking themselves too seriously
-uncover a secret organization created by President Grover Cleveland to protect America's Most Important Artifact, infiltrate it, and steal the Artifact for our own nefarious purposes
Honestly, you should message me if you want to have a good conversation, hang out with cool people, drink some excellent beer... and help me steal some great modern art.