29Kansas City, United States
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My self-summary
I picked my username randomly out of a dictionary... This was probably a bad idea since "Colonialism" has connotations of exploitation and conquest, but hey--when I make an arbitrary rule, I stick to it. Speaking of names, my garbage disposal is called the "In-sink-erator". My Indian name is "Rigid Oak"--and my spirit animal is the Great Canadian Kodiak Marmoset. If we get to know each other, I'll tell you my real name, but keep in mind that I'm looking into changing it to "AAA" so I can claim to be the world's best arcade gamer.

My Myers–Briggs personality type is BAMF.

I have a fear of twins and left-handed people.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a software jockey. Slingin' code on the street corner. Gotta push that product. No, I don't work for Cerner or Garmin!
I’m really good at
Remembering the most obscure never-gonna-need-this facts... and then actually needing them in trivia games.
The first things people usually notice about me
Incredibly thick hair--if I like you, I'll let you pat my fluffy head for good luck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
As far as fiction goes, I love sci-fi... but it makes my teeth itch whenever I see inaccuracies. Our robot overlords use humans as batteries? What?

I hate pickles. Why would you eat something that smells like a swimming pool?

Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Frank Herbert, Robert Heinlein

Leadbelly, Blind Willie Johnson, Son House, Reverend Gary Davis, Woody Guthrie

2001: A Space Odyssey, The Right Stuff, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, Blade Runner, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai

The Sopranos, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Farscape, Star Trek: The Next Generation, The Expanse, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Breaking Bad, Parks and Recreation, The Office, Fullmetal Alchemist, China, IL
Six things I could never do without
weekends, ear plugs, maps, the whole collective knowledge of the entirety of humanity (i.e. Wikipedia), a wallet that holds coins, and...

A fan running while I'm sleeping!

I've gotta say, though... I think I'd look really weird without eyebrows, so I don't think that I could do without those either.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My thinking time is divided up thusly:
50% how to look like I'm being productive
30% having imaginary arguments that I win
20% why the world's borders are the way they are
1% making sure my percents add up to 100
On a typical Friday night I am
carousing, cavorting, capering, galavanting, and generally enjoying my life as an homme vivant and general man-about-town
You should message me if
- your user name contains a pun (e.g. ClarkCunt, JacksonPotluck)
- you describe yourself as something other than "simple"
- your "The first things people usually notice about me" isn't something completely superficial
- you believe that vikings beat pirates and ninjas any day of the week
The two of us