24Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
Um...hey. If you've attempted to contact me after about August 2014 and I haven't gotten back to you, it's because I haven't checked this shit since then. Today is February 1st, 2015. Oops.

At first, my asshole friends shamed me into making this. Then I just kind of ran with it.

I live in DC, but I'm in Pittsburgh for school. I hate writing things about myself. Message me if you want to know something specific.

I judge you based on your grammar. Animals > most people I know. Kickboxing and paintballing are some of my favorite things. I guess that's it. Oh and I want Riff Raff to play at my wedding.

Just kidding, here's a little more -
Because you people all have the same questions:
-Backstory: See above. I was bullied into making this by people who all had one.
-No, my username is not a reference to something. I'm not a communist, Jesus fuck. It was my old Reddit username before I deleted that account and made a new one. That said, if someone has CommunistTrees as a Reddit name, it's not me.
-I hate Pittsburgh as a city and only came to the University of Pittsburgh because they're one of the very few schools that offer Neuroscience as an undergraduate major. Why the hate? Because it's too fucking gray and boring and the "downtown" area is nothing but corporate shit and everything closes at like 6 pm and Steelers fans are the fucking worst.
-I'm not really taking any of this seriously. Although I'm not opposed to a potential something that could come of this.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE: I have an Instagram because fuck privacy or something: _ninjatuttle
What I’m doing with my life
Neuroscience & Studio Arts double major, Chemistry minor. EMT. ER volunteer.
University of Pittsburgh 2016

The science-y shit is my MO, but here's a taste of the artsy side from a couple years ago:
I’m really good at
smartass comments.
The first things people usually notice about me
I always look angry when I'm not paying attention. Also people notice I'm a girl.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: anything David Sedaris, Chuck Palahniuk, or Stephen Colbert
The Social Animal (probably my favorite ever)
All the King's Men
Never Let Me Go
The Kite Runner
The Invisible Gorilla
The Great Gatsby
The Trouble With Testosterone
This Is a Book
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Textbooks have been my main source of literature for a while now, so I don't have a whole lot of time to read for funsies

Movies: Wedding Crashers
The Devil's Double
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Boondock Saints
V for Vendetta
Horrible Bosses
A Beautiful Mind
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Dr. Strangelove
The Departed
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Kill Bill
Donnie Darko
Seven Pounds
The Pursuit of Happyness
Cinderella Man
The Bourne trilogy
Monsters Inc.
Ocean's Eleven
American Psycho
The Sandlot
The Shawshank Redemption
Fight Club
Forrest Gump
Rabbit Hole
The Cove
Catch Me If You Can
District 9
Shaun of the Dead
Hot Fuzz
Crazy, Stupid, Love
All the Batman shit
The Silence of the Lambs
Little Miss Sunshine
Slumdog Millionaire
Despicable Me
The Gods Must Be Crazy
The Darjeeling Limited
Requiem for a Dream
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Good Will Hunting
The Wolf of Wall Street
and Mean Girls because a) I think I'm supposed to and b) your other option is to be a liar, so take your pick

FOOOOD: Your ass had better not be picky. I'll cook the shit out of a meal for you. I eat pretty fucking healthily aside from my candy addiction. I recently started making my own food and stopped supporting those punk bitches at Chipotle. I'll grill some fucking veggies for your ass and show you a whole new world, Aladdin style. Oh, did you think grills were for meat only? That’s the kind of narrow-ass minded thinking that makes you believe there is any nutrition in a fucking hot dog. Get yo lycopene on, fools. What was the last thing you made yourself? A pickle and ketchup sandwich? Fuck you.

Musica: Pretty much anything except for ignorant rap. The Real Slim Shady was the first (real) song I learned all the words to. Do with that what you will.

I guess it depends on what I'm doing. Classical music for dinner or long drives when I'm stuck in East Bejesus, Ohio, or studying (or my Deadmau5 Pandora station for learning science-y shit), TED talks while I paint (not really music, whatever), NPR while cooking dinner, embarrassing 90's jam session playlist for cleaning the house, my Frank Sinatra Pandora station for having people over (classy dinners and keggers both), and my emo middle school playlist when I work out. I guess that about sums it up.

Shows: Arrested Development
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Archer (occasionally)
Breaking Bad
Spongebob (only like the first 2 or 3 seasons)
South Park
Rick and Morty
Freaks and Geeks
Invader Zim
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
House of Cards
Bob's Burgers
Avatar: The Last Airbender
The League
Trailer Park Boys
Science & nature documentaries because I'm a huge dweeb
Some embarrassing vagina shows I'm not going to mention
Six things I could never do without
This is just as bad as asking me what my favorite color is
I spend a lot of time thinking about

(Max wrote that)
On a typical Friday night I am
Either drinking with friends or studying
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well this is the creepiest thing I've ever exposed myself to. Good job, me. Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus.

That wasn't private at all because fuck you.
You should message me if
You're remotely interested and have a sharp sense of humor. And if you don't chew with your mouth open. Seriously, I will punch you in the neck. Cut that shit out.

And don't use "ur" or "u" if you're going to strike up a conversation. Talk to me like we're not 12 year olds in a fucking chat room for the first time.
The two of us