Personally, I think I'm pretty awesome.
My name's Stu. Or Stuart. Take your pick. I suck at summaries. Mine are either too long or too short. I'll err on the side of too short here and let the rest of my profile speak for me.
*Made you look. There's no meaningful footnote for this. Proof of jerkdom. But really, one of my bosses hoped to make shirts proclaiming "Stu Condit: What a dick." He never did. I'm severely disappointed in him.
Vector-based graphics when I have the time to spend on tweaking them to be JUST RIGHT.
Karaoke when I've had juuuuust enough to drink.
Because I got the flow where I grab my dick and say "OH MY GOD, THAT'S THE FUNKY SHIT." (Name the song without Google. I dare ya.)
I would've said my chipped right maxillary central incisor (thanks for the proper terminology, Wikipedia), but I got that crowned recently after 2 years of living with it. Now people who've known me during my time of occasional unintentional whistling while I talk comment on the fact that I've got a full set of teeth.
As far as current reading goes, Richard Clarke's Against All Enemies.
But as far as favorites go: Cormac McCarthy's The Road, Pratchett's Discworld books, Pratchett and Gaiman's Good Omens, Style Deficit Disorder, anything by John Hodgman, (here's where I get into the really nerdy shit, as if the last few mentions weren't nerdy enough) Scott Pilgrim, Superman: Red Son, Superman: True Brit (note the Elseworlds theme), Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth, Umbrella Academy*, Lupton's Thinking With Type.
Goon, Sukiyaki Western Django (and pretty much any other variation on the Yojimbo/Django theme), anything Mel Brooks (particularly Blazing Saddles), Kentucky-Fried Movie, The Prestige (The Illusionist can chug a series of cocks as far as I'm concerned. That shit sucked.), The Big Lebowski, Stop Making Sense, The Usual Suspects and then some.TV subscript sidenote: Sons of Anarchy, Archer, Party Down, Firefly, Ugly Americans..
My musical tastes change on a daily basis, so I'm not gonna get into it outside of mentioning the latest 5 Pandora stations I've booted up: The Go! Team, Asylum Street Spankers, Lights, Buck 65, and The Suzan. And I've been listening to Neutral Bling Hotel's In My G4 Over Da Sea a lot lately.
As far as food goes, I'll try anything once (I thought escargot was no big deal at 4 years old, so yeah, anything). Feta-stuffed olives with black pepper-crusted sausage and French bread have been a post-work go-to lately. Also been on a major food truck kick as of late. Personal favorite thus far goes to Seoul Taco's bulgogi tacos.
*When I ran room service to Ray Toro after My Chemical Romance played the Pageant, I didn't even mention the band. All I could ask was "When the FUCK is Gerard gonna write more Umbrella Academy?" OK, so maybe I wasn't that forceful with my phrasing, but I was definitely more concerned with Gerard's comic-writing than his song-writing (even if I do consider MCR's latest album a raging guilty pleasure). And then we played Gran Turismo. True story.
I could probably do without that seventh day.
*Monday. I sleep on Monday.
Really, my mind's all over the place at any given time. How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? [How many?] Wanna ride bikes?
Honest answer: Fuckin'.
*they were hand-me-downs from a coworker. I would never actually BUY Calvin Klein girly jeans. The Express pair, on the other hand...
-You're putting the F.U. back in fun.
-You know of a completely awesome concert at some venue I haven't been to that's coming up.
-The thought of coffee- and chili-rubbed pork tenderloin intrigues you.
-You don't give a shit about some fuckin' guy using hella rude cusses in front of ladies (but not kids. Gotta have SOME kinda decorum). But really, I've been told that I can be kind of offensive.
-You watch football and think "This is the most boring hockey game ever! Why do they keep stopping when someone gets knocked down?"
-You can't believe this rock show's totally bitchin'.