29 Centennial, United States
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My self-summary
NOTE: My username should be read "Colorado Platonist". Contrary to any belief, it is in no way related to law enforcement. I am personally very weary when it comes to police interaction, as any sane person should be!

I am an amateur philosopher, lover of logic, aspiring writer, and seeker of truth. I also try to work in a few punch lines here and there. I love stand-up comedy, and if you're a fan of Mitch Hedberg, Bill Hicks, or Patton Oswalt we will probably get along swimmingly.

I've always been a huge nerd. I was a hacker in high school. A philosophy student in college. While in college, I partied harder on accident than a lot of people ever will on purpose. That being said, I now appreciate peaceful, quite settings immensely. If you love conversation, I'm your man.

I'm done with loud chaos, arguing with drunk strangers in public (bar hopping), and having a hundred people in my house (house parties). If that's still something you love to do, you should go for it. Having been there and done that, more power to you. It's not for me now though.

I do smoke cigarettes currently. I know that's a "deal breaker" for some, so I figure I should get it out of the way sooner than later. I don't see myself quitting in the foreseeable future, and if I ever did it would have to be because I want to, and not because someone else wants me to. I've tried quitting to please someone I'm dating, but that never really works out.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm trying to enjoy and figure out life at the same time. Two pursuits I'm inclined to believe go together. I guess my goal is less of a focus on discovering some kind of grand meaning, and more about figuring out how I can look back at it all when my time's out, and see it as a life I would gladly choose to live again.
I’m really good at
I'm good at making people laugh, formal logic, philosophy, controlling oversteer in a car, Texas Hold-em, mixing a cocktail, finding new music that everyone will be listening to in a few months, sleeping, and I imagine at least 3 other things. I figure if I'm going to learn a skill, I may as well be good at it.

I'm also a walking thesaurus.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I will do anything to make them laugh. I believe that all is not lost as long as we can still laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I generally tend to go with books that fall under magical realism, science fiction, fantasy, horror, and philosophy. My all-time favorite is easily "Fahrenheit 451". A close runner-up is "Animalia" by Graeme Base. I'm a big Lovecraft fan. Neil Gaiman is a writing idol of mine, along with Stephen King and Ernest Hemingway. I think Bertrand Russell is probably the most clear and elegant philosophic writer in history. I'm big into high quality comic book/graphic novels. They can be as artistically important or meaningful as any novel. I really, really love the short story form too. I think the best horror works are short stories, and I believe a lot can be elegantly done with very few words.

Favorite Philosophers: Gottlob Frege, Bertrand Russell, Plato, and Socrates. I've begrudgingly come to recognize that Hegel is a genius. Nietzsche is incredibly quotable.

Music: DJ Krush, DJ Shadow, Dave Matthews Band, Muse, Frank Sinatra, Snow Patrol, Deadmau5, Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip, YTCracker, Late Night Alumni, Nero, MC Frontalot, Pendulum, MC Lars, Del the Funky Homosapien, Gang Starr, Buddy Wakefield, Rise Against, Nirvana, Coldplay, My Chemical Romance, Paul Van Dyk, Panic! at the Disco, and Sage Francis, Frou Frou, Imogen Heap, Telepopmusik, Royksopp. Some Bo Burnham and Stephen Lynch. So much more too. I love musical theater, musical movies, classical, rock, trip-hop, a ton of various electronica genres, hip-hop. I'm more likely to have Julie Andrews stuck in my head than anything from the pop charts. Oh, Bollywood music is great too. I give all music a chance, just like any other art medium.

Movies: I'm a big fan of movies. I do refuse to watch torture porn [Hostel, Saw, etc.]. It's not artistic or entertaining. Gore seems like a lazy way to do horror. A few favorite films are Pulp Fiction, Casablanca, The Matrix, Thank You for Smoking, Second-hand Lions, Wall-e, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Ghost in the Shell, Waking Life, Heavy Metal, and The Proposal.

Television: I really only watch television shows through Netflix these days. I've been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise. I also watch a fair number of different DC and Marvel super hero cartoon series. A few other favorites are Eureka, Top Gear (the BBC version), Sherlock (BBC version), Chuck, Cowboy Bebop, Dollhouse, Futurama, White Collar, Once Upon A Time, The Walking Dead, Californication, and various educational series covering the sciences and documentary topics.

Food: I'm a big fan of pizza? If I were a super-villian, I would plot the demise of cilantro. Maybe create some robotic bees that destroyed the plant. Or, threaten to destroy the moon if my demands weren't met. That demand being the abolishment of cilantro.
The six things I could never do without
Laughter, ever-expanding knowledge, family, wit, art to enjoy, and (let's be realistic) the internet!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Topics ranging from lunch to the implications of quantum mechanics on classical formal logic. Whatever strikes my attention at the time I suppose.

I spend a lot of my time researching questions that come to me throughout the day. Living in the information age means never having to say "I don't know" twice. It does annoy some people. It also makes some classify me as a "know-it-all". I like to imagine my mind is Audrey 2, and knowledge is a field trip of curious youngsters who have found themselves in the wrong part of a particularly treacherous botanical gardens.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out with my friends and family. Mayhaps watching one of the various Star Trek series. Sometimes a concert. If I'm feeling particularly motivated, I will read some comic books whilst watching something equally nerdy on Netflix.

Nowadays, my ideal Friday night is one of two possibilities:
A) Pizza and sci-fi (Star Trek usually) on Netflix.
B) Pizza and board-games if there are friends available.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't know how to ride a bike.

I have no desire to learn how to ride a bike. I have two perfectly good forms of locomotion, walking and driving a car. I have no need for a form of transport slightly faster than walking and much slower than my car.

I've also still got my 3e D&D books, and I'm just looking for an excuse to break them out. It has been too long since I've blown something up as an evocation wizard or shanked someone with a nice sneak attack. I guess there's also the roleplaying part; I miss that too.

Another dirty "role playing" secret, I used to be a certified "grand-master" level dungeon master for Wizards of the Coast. I took a difficult rules exam and helped run a number of public D&D events for a few in-game perks, the ability to host sponsored D&D events, and supreme nerd cred lol.
You should message me if
If your username is fouxdufafa112, because your message box is full and I was going to message you, but I can't currently!

If you aren't the kind of person who always wants to be outside doing something that resembles a survival skill.

If you have a great sense of humor.

If you don't deny evolution.

If you have a basic understanding of science, math, and logic.

If you can appreciate art without being pretentious.

If you aren't a sobriety elitist, constantly crusading that not using psychoactive substances is somehow inherently superior.

If you like the idea of being ironically called "my old lady" as a term of endearment. You know, if some kind of relationship develops and reaches the "terms of endearment" stage. I don't refer to someone on a first date with such a title. Although, insisting I refer to you as "my old lady" to strangers on a first date would go a long way towards to proving number two on this list. Just saying.

If you agree that a terrific plan for a night of relaxation involves pizza and Netflix. I've paid my dues to the party gods, and aside from rare occasions, I really don't want to go to a bunch of loud, crowded bars or house parties and listen to stupid people. This doesn't mean I won't go to concerts, because live music is great. But, there are two kinds of people. Some of us put up with the sweaty, crowded concert hall full of idiots in order to enjoy artists we love. Some people put up with whoever is on stage in order to enjoy the party full of sweaty, half naked people dancing. I'm entirely the former, and none of the latter.