Catcher in the Rye was also pretty awful.
If your excuse for not reading my profile is that it's too long, please don't bother to message me. I can smell your bullshit form letter from a mile away.
Now that we've got those vitals out of the way, my name is Kait. I'm twenty-two years old. INFJ. I'm working two jobs until I can afford to go back to school to study secondary education and literacy. I'll officially be returning in spring 2016. Better late than never.
My personality tab makes me look like a great, big dick- I really do appreciate romance, I don't live in filth, and I'm not a fucking sex fiend.
I have pretty poor facial recognition. With that in mind, if I view your profile more than once, I swear I'm not stalking you, I just didn't recognize your photo while I was browsing people.
I could wipe the floor with you at Rampage on N64.
I look at my dog the way I imagine parents look at their children. Get on board with it, or move along. On that note, I don't trust anybody who doesn't like animals.
I value ambition. No job/schooling/plans? No fucking thank you. I also value a sense of humor, bookishness, sarcasm, and so on. Bonus points for tattoos and ties.
I realize this profile may seem a bit abrasive, but I'm actually quite sweet most of the time.
Last but not least- I'm really not the slightest bit interested in casual sex. Please, for the love of all that is good in the world, send your dick pics elsewhere.
Television: Doctor Who, Supernatural, Sherlock Jeopardy, Top Gear, Adventure Time, Family Guy, South Park, Face Off, American Horror Story, Mythbusters, Dexter, Rick and Morty, Walking Dead, Boy Meets World, Golden Girls, Bob's Burgers, Regular Show.
Movies: My favorite movie of all time is Stand By Me. Haven't seen it? Go watch it, you might like it. Oddly enough, it's a drama, but my heart belongs to the horror genre. Comedy and action are good too, but spare me the Baysplosions.
Music: I love variety. No country or opera, but just about everything else is good with me.
Can I just add that it drives me up a wall when somebody includes things like food (unless you're a chef, I guess), water, and oxygen in this section? Get a fucking personality.
-You can come up with a more interesting opener than, "Hey, what's up? You have really pretty eyes." While the compliment is appreciated, it's terribly unoriginal.
-Your profile doesn't have a winking emoticon anywhere on it.
-This section of your profile doesn't contain the expression, "I don't bite... hard," in any of its forms.
-You understand that the "friendzone" is a myth. Seriously, I'm going to expand on this simply by saying that if you do believe in the friendzone, and you message me anyway to make your case, I will kindly remind you to pick up your fedora and not let the door of every intelligent female on the planet hit you in the ass on the way out.
-You enjoy debate.
-You know how to make a good cup of coffee (light and sweet, please).
-You can name at least three serial killers off the top of your head.
-You dig women with tattoos and stretched earlobes.
-You want to teach me an unusual skill. Let's start with sword swallowing.
Also, just as a disclaimer, I'm no size zero, so you should be okay with that. Skinny women are totally cool, I'm just not one of them. Just a head's up since I know a few extra pounds isn't everybody's cup of tea.