38 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
The OKC question-machine just asked me, "do you believe morality is universal, or relative?"

Now, there is an answer to this question, but it is far more complex than can be answered by checking a box. So if you care to read it, I have posted my answer at the bottom of this page.

Now, onto the self-summary:

I am Greek/Irish, the last of my kind. We no longer inter-breed, because we're afraid to create a race too lazy to drink.

I was a bad kid, so I make up for it by being a terrible adult.

My therapist said I should work on my drinking. So I bought an ice-maker.

I don't go to strip clubs. If I wanted to give money to a woman who hated me, I would be married.

I have a black cat. I dress him up in a Ku Klux Klan outfit to be ironic.

Is morality universal? Yes, but only within a given group of social animals. Is morality relative? Yes, but only between species.

Tigers who kill and eat deer aren't "murderers," because we ascribe no moral dimension to their thinking.

Morality for humans, gifted as we are, is far more circumscribed. And it should be. We have the highest cognitive function of any animal. Are we not called to do better?

Because we are social animals, humans have one basic moral precept: that which redounds to the benefit of conscious creatures, is good. That which does them harm, is bad. There is nothing relative about this.

Morality, therefore, is absolute. Not in the way that religious people believe it to be; handed down from some magical man in the sky, but rooted in the fact that "contentment" and "pain" are actual states of being, and that one is better than the other.
What I’m doing with my life
Stalking the old-folks' home in a clown suit.
I’m really good at
Cunnilingus. No, seriously; ask my mom.
The first things people usually notice about me
My lack of pants.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite book is, "Fifty Shades of Hay," an erotic tale of violence and domination set in a stable on the upper-East Side.

My favorite movie is, "Raping Private Ryan."

My favorite food is Ethiopian, but not the modern Euro-fusion bullshit you'll pay too much for on the Lower East Side. I go for the traditional fare, like shiro or sebhe beghe. Seriously. I wouldn't joke about that.
The six things I could never do without
Video games
Scotch whiskey
Every other kind of whiskey
Bacon (Kevin)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to be less mature and more offensive.
On a typical Friday night I am
Masturbating in a diaper while wishing death upon my neighbors.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Secrets and lies! It’s always SECRETS AND LIES!
You should message me if
You're not afraid to push a guy's head down.