CrMo79
37Portland, United States
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CrMo79
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My self-summary
My coworker and (married) friend Jennifer tells me I'm "boringly normal". I'm an INTJ for those whom speak MBTI.

I'm basically a straight, gay man -- feel free to ask me what that means, but a good chunk of it has to do with my upbringing. I'm also fairly conservative when it comes to relationship constructs (e.g. no open relationships and polyamory is nuts/makes me vomit a little) but I am politically to the left and very free-thinking.

I come from a blended family in which my mother was the breadwinner and the head of the household (though my father was charged with being the disciplinarian) which has made a profound impact on how I view women.

Romantic relationship development in Portland is one of the hardest parts about living here. Look at all of the profiles where "independent" is mentioned as a selling point. It's the exact opposite, and why are they here at all?

I am looking for someone to go the ends of the Earth for, who will also do the same in kind. That to me is the definition of love. Men are notoriously bad communicators; I am making my intentions clear.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as director of sales and marketing for a funky middle-aged startup in the "ancestral health" field...basically I sell really high quality, and therefore really expensive convenience foods and supplements. I love what I do, but being a small company I deal constantly with the fragility and insecurity of 21st century American society and it creates a great deal of stress at times! We take the good with the bad. Unless you're a status hound (a la NYC) I'm reasonably well put-together.

I love to play the electric bass/bass guitar. It's another language, like any musical instrument is. That pleasing throb. I speak it well.
I’m really good at
Taking risks.

Remembering names and faces.

Cerebrality -- that needs to be a real word.

Occasionally making bad first impressions.

Providing a pleasing musical throb.

Using my vast knowledge base to connect with others.

Offering commentary. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it gets me in trouble by causing me to make a bad impression. I've always been a "shoot first, ask questions later" kind of person.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and my kind face along with my 17th century sideburns. People can see the emotional stability in my eyes... I don't look my age and I'm told I do the bald look pretty well, so that's something. I am more physically attractive in person.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Non-fiction. Esoteric.

Movies: Wiki 1987 for movies.

Shows: TV or Broadway?

Music: Discuss. I have played classical, jazz (fusion, latin, standards, classics), and many styles of rock and roll. Queen is my favorite band. There's no "replacing" Freddie Mercury...but George Michael could have been an interesting experiment...and now he's gone in 2016... But how can you go wrong with a band with a guitarist/leader of the orchestra who also happens to be an astrophysicist?

Food: Low carb, high fat, moderate protein. Pastured eggs are divine.

None of this stuff matters -- I'm not out for a female clone with my artistic taste/sensibility...can't we share different stuff?
Six things I could never do without
Why not call this box "The six people in your life I could never do without"??

So in that case:

1) My boss.

2) My folks -- I still learn a lot from them and they're quietly extraordinary people.

3) My brother, who I also learn a lot from. Unfortunately we're on divergent paths at the moment, but such is life.

4) Anyone I can make a genuine connection with.

5) A great drummer.

6) The people I work with.

7) The planet Jupiter, because without Jupiter potentially deadly impacts on Earth from outer space would be 2000-8000 times higher than they are now...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The three f-bombs that people drop that make dating unbelievably difficult:

Flattery: "I find you creepy so I don't appreciate your compliments but thank you but not really."

Friend: I think people have forgotten what it means to be friends. What it means to develop friendships. Friendships between straight men and straight women can only work if there is ZERO sexual tension between two people. It can work. Friends aren't people you dispose of after you've found someone you want to be romantically involved with...but in Portland dating culture that happens...

Feminism: I am a feminist! But when people say you gotta be well-versed in intersectional feminism in order to date them you might as well be a pretentious asshole about something else. It's all the same. Part of the rise of the matriarchy is for women to enlighten men about how to adapt and change, not alienate men because they're not on the same ethereal socio-political plane that you're on.

This is a super interesting article:

https://resistmedia.org/2016/12/18/say-feminism-intersectional-really/

Also interesting:

https://areomagazine.com/2017/02/15/the-problem-with-intersectional-feminism/
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably in, unless I've got a gig or I'm out of town on business.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I do not sleep well when it's hot out...
You should message me if
Nobody "should" do anything, but kudos to all of the women who empower themselves by making the first move!

A good barometer would be to ponder how appealing hot-and-sober making out (with me!) is to you.

Good article:

https://medium.com/the-mission/7-idiotic-dating-mistakes-you-keep-making-67468edd22d0
More
The two of us
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Dating
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Other
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Ethics
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