36 Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a delightful anachronism. My phone is vintage 2007, my car was built in Reagan's second term, and I use a desktop computer for emails and surfing the internet. You won't ever see me with my face in my phone for hours at a time. I ask for directions, particularly if I'm navigating an unfamiliar stretch of the west side of town as I've lived on the east side since 2003, which is at least one Portland ago.

I think this technology is great! It's just not used effectively by scores of people who choose to be hung up on something about it, but self-sabotage on a personal level through hangups is part of every day life for single people over 30.

Match percentages don't mean much when we're not all taking the same "test". Moreover, algorithms can't predict emotional and physical availability, and unfortunately, for a lot of single people (particularly in Portland) relationships are a very, very low priority. Having lived here long enough, Portland is a perfect playground for single people (who can afford it) who want to be single.

Part of this is because people are burning the candle at both ends to either make ends meet, or to facilitate a lifestyle that leaves little extra time. Parents seem to have forgotten about the importance of having a "village" to help raise children in the 21st century, so there are many parents burning the candle at both ends in that regard, too.

It's tough sledding, and the older we get the more complicated it is because there's more baggage (children, divorce, exes, inability to change, lack of self-reflection over time, etc.) to sort out.

None of us are "matches" on paper or right from the get-go, and I think this is a powerful statement:

"Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition."
What I’m doing with my life
Failing forward. Endlessly. Or at least my entire Portland experience of 13 years.

Full time job 1: I'm a holistic drug dealer. I work for a small but diverse food company going through all kinds of growing/groin pains. The drugs I sell are the cleanest (ingredient-wise) foodstuffs on the planet. In my world food is medicine.Salty or sweet?

Full time job 2:Finding a romantic partner.Not all of us are just out to get in someone's undergarments/lack thereof. It's about putting one's self out there, getting hurt a bunch of times apparently, and plugging along to find an opportunity with another person willing to get out of their comfort zone. That's what's hard about it, and why it's a job.

It's ironic that tons of single people are devoid of time but people with multiple partners have time for more partners. WTF?


Playing bass. Sometimes for money. I'm a non-stereotypical musician with a real day job.

Being terminally funny, 90% of the time.
I’m really good at
Taking risks when the odds are so badly stacked against it. For better and worse, but lately for better.

Providing a pleasing musical throb.

Captivating live (not dead/undead) audiences.

Not taking no for an answer. To the death!

Being patient. Also to the death!

Not dumbing it down.

Writing thoughtfully and well.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and my kind face.I think it causes people to open up to me. I don't look my ageand I'm told I do the bald look pretty well, so that's something. I am more physically attractive in person.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Non-fiction. Quite esoteric.

Movies: Wiki 1987 for movies.

Shows: TV or Broadway?

Music: Discuss. I have played classical, jazz (fusion, latin, standards, classics), and many styles of rock and roll. Queen is my favorite band.

Food: Primal.The only vegans I will eat are free-range and soy-free, and good luck finding that will all the TVP around...

None of this stuff matters -- I'm not out for a female clone with my artistic taste/sensibility...can't we share different stuff?
The six things I could never do without
Why not call this box "The six people in your life I could never do without"??

So in that case:

1) My boss.

2) My folks -- I still learn a lot from them and they're quietly extraordinary people.

3) My brother, who I also learn a lot from. Unfortunately we're on divergent paths at the moment, but such is life.

4) Anyone I can make a genuine connection with.

5) A great drummer.

6) The people I work with.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
An unintended consequence of mutual-gender-independence: mutual-gender-objectification.
On a typical Friday night I am
Winding down...but sometimes I have a gig and then Friday night turns into Saturday morning...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The "honeymoon" phase in Portland is 2-3 years. I have a love/hate relationship with Portland, and if the "big earthquake" that we're overdue for every year happens, I'll be cool with it taking me out. I mean, if one survives being in Water World, what do we do, swim out to eastern Oregon?
You should message me if
Nobody "should" do anything in life.

It would depend on anyone's intentions. I've lived here a long time and I've never been into the "meet-and-greet" concept. Or translated more uppity the "intelligent short term distraction" concept.I think a lot of us look at relationships as a hot, pristine car in the driveway, whether it be a '60s muscle car or roadster, or an eco-yuppie mobile.

How much time in life do you have? Do you have a village for your children? What are your relationship goals?