36 Portland, United States
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My self-summary
It's a great shame that a site like this is used little more than another form of "social media" which unfortunately is really antisocial media, because the comfortable use it to advertise perfect lives for one that they've created while excluding and degrading the less-than-comfortable. Meanwhile, as TIME magazine suggests, the less-than-comfortable feel worse about themselves as a result.

I think the real challenge to online dating is that too many people have negative expectations. The people who have "no expectations" are also negative. There is no point in interacting people who are either scared shitless or not interested in making a real connection in the first place. And there are too many of them out there.

I really hate meeting people for the sake of meeting people. It's no fun. And it's no fun being an interested party interacting with an uninterested party. It's a difference of personality type for sure. But even the most extroverted people out there get burnt out on serial meet-and-greeting...

Until they decide to get back on that hamster wheel...holding out for that person with whom they click like high school while seemingly knowing that person for years -- all within the first 5 minutes of interacting in person for the first time.
What I’m doing with my life
Failing forward. Endlessly. Or at least my entire Portland experience of 13 years.

Full time job 1: I am the sales director/company cat herder/bad cop/realist for a food startup that provides services direct-to-consumer, direct-to-retailer, and fulfillment services for various vendors of ours, saving the world, one piece of primal junk food and one jar of fermented pickles at a time! After 4 years, we're just starting to figure out how to do things right!

Full time job 2:Finding a romantic partner.It's a job because the dating culture in Portland is not nurturing. It's a lot like NYC. People are not hungry here, either.


Playing bass. It's the instrument that makes music groove like a clock. Sometimes I play for money. I'm a non-stereotypical musician with a real day job. I did grow up playing in 18th and 19th century cover bands. They're called orchestras.

Being terminally funny, 90% of the time.
I’m really good at
Taking risks when the odds are so badly stacked against it. For better and worse, but lately for better.

Providing a pleasing musical throb.

Captivating live (not dead/undead) audiences.

Not taking no for an answer. To the death!

Being patient. Also to the death!

Not dumbing it down.

Writing thoughtfully and well.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes and my kind face.I think it causes people to open up to me. I don't look my ageand I'm told I do the bald look pretty well, so that's something. I am more physically attractive in person.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Non-fiction. Quite esoteric.

Movies: Wiki 1987 for movies.

Shows: TV or Broadway?

Music: Discuss. I have played classical, jazz (fusion, latin, standards, classics), and many styles of rock and roll. Queen is my favorite band.

Food: Primal.The only vegans I will eat are free-range and soy-free, and good luck finding that will all the TVP around...

None of this stuff matters -- I'm not out for a female clone with my artistic taste/sensibility...can't we share different stuff?
The six things I could never do without
Why not call this box "The six people in your life I could never do without"??

So in that case:

1) My boss.

2) My folks -- I still learn a lot from them and they're quietly extraordinary people.

3) My brother, who I also learn a lot from. Unfortunately we're on divergent paths at the moment, but such is life.

4) Anyone I can make a genuine connection with.

5) A great drummer.

6) The people I work with.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
An unintended consequence of mutual-gender-independence: mutual-gender-objectification, and the devaluation of romantic relationships.

The current state of Portland: the middle class selling out to the upper class, and the aspiring middle class either succeeding in becoming middle class or becoming lower class and forced out.
On a typical Friday night I am
Winding down...but sometimes I have a gig and then Friday night turns into Saturday morning...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The piano is drunk, not me.
You should message me if