29 London, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
In an act of nihilism I have deleted my old self-summary to make way for a brand new shiny one made of chocolate.

I am a human living in a world of humans. I am pretty empirical about most things but I can't prove it. I get my kicks from my boots. I am pretty bad at writing these this as I tend to fall back on bad jokes and broken puns.

In general I am never truly happy with what I produce but that makes me strive for perfection, and have been known to delete entire photo albums/ profiles/ songs halfway through completion. If you are reading this then you probably won't be reading it in another week or so.

This self promotion really isn't my cup of chai.

Yes, I have a FL profile. No, I don't use it.

When I'm not saving the universe from alien mutant samurai robots I can usually be found hugging a banjo or a bass guitar in the hopes that someone somewhere will think I have talent and offer me money for my comfort blanket of a hobby.

I used to have really long hair until one day I decided not to any more.
I own a monkey outfit and wearing it can take over my personality (like Venom or Carnage from Spiderman)
I am a huge geek (although my profile picture makes me look more like a football thug).
I always have to fall sleep facing the outside of the bed regardless of which side I am on. Thus I am a spoonee rather than a spooner.
I get very concerned that I do not use commas correctly (any people with a qualification in English are welcome to send me a message with guidelines).
Favourite drinks are (alphabetically): bourbon, coffee, Real ale, red wine, the tears of my vanquished enemies (drank from their skulls).

I know what a homophone is (There is a secret society of people. Their function is to use homophones in every conversation they're involved in).

I think that's enough for now.
What I’m doing with my life
Currently between legal finance jobs (long story). Killing time with lots of volunteering, Firestaff, juggling and skateboarding.
Learning the science of swordplay (HEMA)
Fixing computers/ data/ peoples ignorance of Excel & fuses (professionally).
Making music or learning new fun, but ultimately useless, skills (lockpicking, sleight of hand magic, knife thowing. Toying with the idea of becoming a kids entertainer. That or a pirate).

Anything that breaks the tedium.
I’m really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
Odd sense of humour, odd taste in music and general oddities.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Anything by Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett but will read pretty much anything someone recommends to me. The same is true for films. I love anything cerebral, funny or anything I can spend an escapist few hours on. I have recently developed a love of cooking, but tend to go for the 'throw things into the pan until it either starts to smell edible or combusts'.

I rarely watch TV. Anything that interests me I will watch online or invest the money in a DVD boxed set. Of these shows I own:
Dr Who
Six Feet Under
Numerous stand up comics
The Walking Dead

As far as music goes I have a wide range of tastes but tend to obsess over one band at a time. I am into everything from heavy metal to bluegrass, folk to industrial and everything in between. Recently cultivated my love of Hip Hop so I'm gonna throw Kendrick Lamar and Foreign Beggars in for good measure. Got a slight weak spot for Lil Dickie too.

Once again I have rekindled my love with graphic novels (or comics if you want me to own up to being sad). Garth Ennis and Warren Ellis are my constant bedfellows. I read Transmetropolitan at least twice a year and to date have spent over £100 on The Boys (if you haven't already then check it out. Violence, sex, superheroes and a dog that fucks everything and anything on command).
Next in my list is Preacher (now read. Arseface is both tragic and yet heartwarming).

I recently played a game of DnD and ended up accidentally loving it.
The six things I could never do without
Good food
The internet
My book collection
Ironically adding extra lines to lists
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Linguistics and etymology
Whatever skill or project or subject I will throw myself into next (currently coin magic, lockpicking and Airfix)
Remembering to breathe
Russells Paradox
World domination
Why the hell I'm on a dating site when I can't stand most people.
On a typical Friday night I am
Same thing I do every night Pinky, try to take over the world...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I will profess to not dance, but will if pushed. On your own head be it if you take advantage of this.

I one spent a day making one of the Death Eater masks on Prisoner Of Azkaban (the one that looks a little like Mick from Slipknot) but I have never seen the movie.

I have a fear of custard (but have a perfectly valid reason)

I get strangely hungry when I watch zombie movies.

When I was a child at the Chinese/ Moscow state circus I refused to eat the red coloured popcorn because I thought someone fell in the machine.

I have Tourettes.

I had beautiful hair until I cut it off. I have my reasons...

I own a Dethklok T-Shirt that I had imported from China (air miles, I know, but I simply had to have it).

I used to be in Sea Scouts and wear a ridiculous hat every Tuesday.

All of the above is true (except for the alien mutant samurai robots. Technically they are cyborgs...)

This list is scarily morbid and extensive.
You should message me if
You got my homophone joke.

You can sing/ play an interesting instrument and want to lay down some tracks.

You know how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood (for the sake of argument we'll call it a European woodchuck).

You have anything amusing/ surreal to share.

You want to sell me your eternal soul.