Secondly, a note about my account name: it has absolutely nothing to do with the recent connotations that the term 'to cyber with someone' has acquired. Okay... glad we cleared that up. Also, bonus points will be awarded if you know the etymology of 'cyber' -sure, go Google it if you like... you'll probably be surprised.
Now some other mildly interesting stuff about me...
Born in Nottingham and eventually moved back here after living in Leeds, London and also in Harlow which, quite frankly, I'd rather forget about.
I've travelled fairly extensively (USA, most of Europe) but still plenty of places I want to visit (Canada and South America on my list). I once hitchhiked to Tunisia almost entirely by accident (long story - was aiming at Paris and missed... got there on the way back).
Used to work in a juggling shop and in a photography studio before I figured out my natural affinity for programming. Now I write engine control software for a major aerospace company. My apologies if you have suddenly developed an inherent fear of flight.
I also used to help run a cabaret / alternative comedy venue. I appreciate people being funny on my behalf because I'm terminally lazy and it's easier to laugh at someone else being funny on stage than to think up my own jokes. Whilst running the cabaret we had an unknown comedian called Lee Evans on. I think we paid him £50. Currently Tim Minchin is rocking my comedy boat. Al Murray and Dara OBriain are also great live. Oh yes, the late great Bill Hicks is still funny after all this time (although his material has dated somewhat ...hard to believe it's been 20 years).
Anyway, this is a work in progress... just like me. I hate writing these things, but then I think most people do... except for those lucky extrovert types of course.
One more thing - I'm not currently an A-Lister so I can't see if you 'Like' me - just drop me a message if you do - I'm not that scary am I? If you can manage to write more than one sentence that doesn't start and end with "Hi...LOL!" then your chance of a reply is good.
I'm a big fan of the whole 'being alive' thing right now. As far as I can work out it's far better than the alternative. Finding someone to share it with would be an added bonus.
I am sure there are many other things I am 'good' at, but the pressure of all this self-assessment has fogged my brain. What I'm *not* really good at is filling in these forms... I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition*.
Also not bad at archery, table-tennis, driving ...but then again, you'll never meet a guy who doesn't think he's a great driver ;)
*Complete obligatory Monty Python sketch reference in your own time.
Before I do this I will have to come up with a with a list multi-choice answers... like 'bloody long hair', 'geek', 'shoved a questionaire into my face' ...that sort of thing.
Apart from that, funny stuff like Calvin & Hobbes, The Far Side, Dilbert. Also read loads of webcomics (e.g. Order of the Stick, xkcd, Irregularwebcomic, PvPOnline, and Questionable Content to name but a few).
Films... anything goes but I guess sci-fi and fantasy top the list (again) Don't ask me to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek please. Also Monty Python (esp. Holy Grail & Life of Brian). Other favourites include most John Cusack films especially Grosse Pointe Blank, Serendipity and High Fidelity (although the book is better).
Others (more or less at random from the shelf) Kill Bill, Fight Club, Dogma, Kick Ass, Empire Records, Withnail and I, This is Spinal Tap, Sin City, Serenity, Lost in Translation, The Wall, Groundhog Day, Alien Quadrilogy, Bladerunner, Lord of the Rings (all of it, in the extended version), Full Metal Jacket, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Sleepy Hollow, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Sixth Sense and quite conceivably the best film ever... The Princess Bride and ... oh, loads more... but I don't do Twilight (vampires do not sparkle!) or Harry Potter ...sorry - I should probably get that off my chest right now... although I could probably deal with a Potter-loving partner as long as I wasn't required to dress up in a Hagrid costume for kinky Potter sex games or anything.
TV... anything really except soaps and reality TV. I usually watch Have I Got News For You, QI and Top Gear. Currently enjoying Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Big Bang Theory. Dr. Who is good fun too... . Used to watch Buffy / Angel fairly religiously (my inner child is a Joss Whedon fanboi) and Firefly... curse you Fox TV for your sudden but inevitable betrayal - if you were a British channel I'd have you taken out and shot.
Perennial favourites include Red Dwarf, Blackadder, Not the 9 o'Clock News, Monty Python, Alas Smith and Jones, My Name is Earl, Black Books... you're probably getting the picture now.
My youth was also shaped (some would say warped) by exposure to the following cartoons: The Magic Roundabout ("Time for bed", said Zebedee. "YES!!", said Florence), Will o the Wisp, Captain Pugwash, The Clangers, Paddington Bear, Roobarb and Custard, The Wombles ...and many more.
Music... eclectic is the word... towards the 'rock' end of the spectrum, used to be pretty hardcore rock / goth (Pixies, Husker Du, Sisters of Mercy, Siouxsie, Dead Can Dance, The Mission, New Model Army ...but definitely mellowing in my old age... acoustic/folk/indie-ish esp. Thea Gilmore, Tom McRae, Aimee Mann, 10000 Maniacs / Natalie Merchant, Cowboy Junkies ...anything really except wimpy boy bands, limpid R'n'B ... oh, and gangsta rap, for many reasons. There are over 1000 CDs on my shelves, even more on my PC and most of them are totally great IMHO.
Food... hmm there's very little I won't eat, but Italian or Chinese for preference, but French cuisine is also excellent and sushi is good too.
I love good coffee (I'm single-handedly trying to keep Whittards in business). Cheesecake is my favourite dessert.... mmm cheesecake. I also like cheese... except Parmesan. There's a reason it smells like vomit folks.
Music (preferably live, in a small venue. See above for tastes).
Books... I am a bibliophile... and no that doesn't mean I like to f**k books you weirdo. (I can't believe someone asked that)
Cats & dogs, (okay, I know that's a twofer).
Computers (because I'd be out of a job).
Good Coffee (because without I'd be a homicidal maniac and you don't want to see that)
I also have a Celine Dion CD :o Nah, just kidding... what do you think I am - sick or something?
You can think of something a little more original to say than "hi" or "I like cheesecake too". Apparently almost everyone likes cheesecake because despite everything that's written here the majority of messages I get tend to focus on that one point.... maybe there are enough of us to start a National Cheesecake Appreciation Society? :)
Or you want to let me know what you thought of this profile... admittedly it's not my best work, (but on the other hand, it's not quite 380 pages long which is a definite point in its favour).
On the other hand you should probably not message me if you live on the other side of the world and are just looking for a British passport.
BTW I'm also highly suspicious of profiles with pics of extremely good-looking women randomly messaging me out of the blue, because my life just doesn't work like that - so if that's you and you really are interested then you better quote some Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams to let me know you bothered to read the profile or you won't get a reply.
Also, I do not / will never send money to someone I have never met.... nope, not even if you've been arrested whilst doing charity work in Vietnamese orphanage or your baby sister needs a heart transplant. So just don't bother okay? We weren't all born yesterday.
P.S. Sorry if that last part seems a little negative, but 99% of the few messages I get fall into one of these categories :-/