31Ann Arbor, United States
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My self-summary
My name is Ricardo Alfonso. I was born Ricardo Alfonso on the small island of Puerto Rico, a magical land beyond the clouds where vicious dragons roam the countryside looking for livestock to devour. I am the son of Ricardo Alfonso of Yauco and Eileen Orta of Yauco. Yauco is a town in Puerto Rico. They grow coffee there. I like coffee. Do you like coffee?

I moved to the United States in search of a better life. Strangely enough, I got a better life and now I'm bored. Since there appear to be other people in this country besides me who like the buttsex, I am attempting to interact with fellow buttsex enthusiasts. Not that I'm exclusively on OKCupid looking for a good time, but I'm not going to pretend that I'm some perfect little angel waiting for Prince Charming to come along and marry me into his rich asshole family. Sometimes you have to have buttsex with someone in order to realize that there are other holes in the human body worth interacting with.

God, what else? I like to write, derp derp.

I'd say I'm handsome. I'm not very tall, but what I lack in height, I make up for in plotting to take over the world. This is what they call a Napoleonic Complex. I have dark eyes, dark hair, and a dark heart. My racial background is...interesting; it's a weird mixture of Latino, Mediterranean, and Northern African. Those people in Libya fighting for their freedom? Those are my brothers, man.

Personality-wise, I'm definitely a very strong figure. I am not the most subtle person in the world. If something is on my mind, I'll just say it. I do have my introvert moments though. Sometimes I'll be in my "Fuck you, leave me alone" mood, as I like to call it. I have this huge obsession with justice and fairness, and if something happens that appears to me to reek of injustice, I have a really hard time accepting it as a reality. I will probably end up pursuing a career in journalism or law.
What I’m doing with my life
Woo boy, where to begin?

There's this computer game called Minecraft. It's like LEGO meets The Sims. Basically, you go around this weird cube-like world and collect blocks, which you can then use to make block structures to live in. You can also mine blocks by going underground, and the rare blocks are hard to find. Like diamond, diamond is super rare and you have to search hours just to find one goddamned block. But when you do find one, holy shit. It's like you just cured cancer.

Speaking of video games, I also get really obsessed with RPG's, the really long ones that take months to beat. A fun thing I like to do is voice all the characters as different celebrities. For example, if I'm playing Final Fantasy VII, I'll have Cloud speak like Sean Connery, Barrett is Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vincent is that guy who speaks really funny whose name I've just forgotten, etc. My friends love it when I'm in the mood for that. It's like hours of entertainment.

For fuck's sake, why am I talking about video games? I'm trying to finish a college degree and it's taking forever because I picked the worst minor in the history of the universe. Sue me. I am also employed, but I'm not going to say anything about that in case my boss reads his employee's OKCupid profiles.
I’m really good at

Oh shit, I meant making people laugh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I walk really fast. Like, people will look at me and say, "What the hell is the rush, dude?" And I'm like, "There's no rush, man. This is just how I walk. I have long legs." Seriously, I can walk faster than some people can jog.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't have a favorite of any of these things because I don't read, watch TV, listen to music, or eat food. All I do is win win win.
Six things I could never do without
1) Oxygen
2) Nitrogen
3) Carbon
4) Hydrogen
5) Magnesium
6) Potassium
I spend a lot of time thinking about
stingrays and how awesome they are.
On a typical Friday night I am
at Necto pretending to be cool. I'll sport a fauxhawk when I'm feeling really frisky. Then some nights, I'll even wear a tank top and show off my muscles, so that when dumb jocks come over to hit on me, I can be like, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend. I'm just here to dance."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I still don't know what Kelis is talking about when she sings about her 'milkshake.' Don't tell me!!! I need to figure this out for myself.
You should message me if
you have an 18-inch penis.
The two of us